all about ducks

`
“raised by a dog”

Felip duck
jumps on hind legs
for french bread.
.

i name him
so i get to keep him
duck napping napper.

.

don’t crowd me
plenty of dough for you
keep your cool.
.

i’m surrounded
it’s a hold up at the
o k corral.
.

we do shots
of lemongrass before dinner
Felip and moi.

~
~

ducks adore
vinegar potato chips
gave them mine.

~

time to fly south
ask you to tag along
not a bad idea

~

bitterben calls
silly duck my follower
they can’t read.
~

man said “duck
is following you home”
going wrong way.

barely conscious stream

`
deviled crabs
tiny pitchforks chasing you
across the sand.

`
rice krispie treats
falling in bikini top
uncomfortable.

`

married on beach
dolphins are your witnesses
miami dolphins.

`
smith party of six
party of five
one died in line.

`
“Pyramid Scheme”

send us picture
imaginary money
we make blogging ?

`

my father said
“good thing you aren’t
allergic to money”.

`

you’re in a pickle
i can’t help you
i hate vinegar.
.
cucumbers are
notorious for heartburn
double negative.
`
“you hold your liquor
better than i do peggy.
long island iced tea”.
.
i hold my liquor
just like the next man
with my hands.

`
watch out for
piranha in jacuzzi
he hasn’t eaten.

`
tropical depression
sadness because summer
left the building.

`

“They Give To Me”
haven’t ever
given anyone anything
contagious.

`
“which ad experience
do you prefer”
none nada zip.

`
where were you
when the lights went out ?
in a haiku.

`
“No More Alimony”
Art Cashin

” ben bernanke flies
over your house drops
million dollars”.

`
“Walking on Beach”

like to turn around
make sure no one following
shouting haiku.

summer is here to stay !

i’m refusing
to say goodbye to summer
you can’t make me.
`
`
stream of consciousness
many have said this
had to look it up
.
how can i be doing
something if i don’t
know what it is.
.
i’m just a person
stumbling upon haiku month
february.

`

trying to fit
as many on page as
humanly possible.
`
`
like this:

if i had my say
which apparently i do
won’t say bye!

`

shark head in surf
appears as though he doesn’t
need bottom half.

`
men always asking
me to get in the pool
get a commission?

`

favorite kind of a man
one who says see you
tree o’ clock .

`

everyone tells
me schedule can’t even
remember own.

`
if someone is
a leader you better take
a hard look.

`
ants hate this
vinegar in tea cup
crawling on rim.

`

why would anyone
want to eat a vinegar
potato chip?

`

you can’t strangle
a man with a large neck
not that i want to

`

tapping his head
why is he doing that
maybe a V8?

`
sneaking out
it’s the fastest way the softest
way and coolest way.

`

if your name
ends in vowel then can
i call you gumba ? (friend)

`

helicopters three
hovering above do not
“beam me up”.

Friday/two bikini’s a troll doll a bellman & 2 weddings

two bikini’s
on the shore “savin lives
tryin anyway”

older bikini
tells me as the younger threw
starfish back in
`
BELLMAN

“your husband
probably loves that you
have laryngitis”.

“you’re not married
probably a good thing?
i don’t know”.

“yeah they’ve got
SUSHI & all that stuff
at our restaurant”.

NO ONE KNOWS
what a VEGETARIAN is
myrtle beach.

`
NEED A CAMERA
couldn’t even write haiku
died laughing

lady’s hair blown
exactly like troll doll
gray with black roots.

if i had her picture
wouldn’t even have to
write haiku.
`
pink rose petals
line boardwalk watermelon crawl
a wedding

Gumba my movie man

the ” movie man”
took me to see piano man
fourth row center.

fourth row right
x husband’s divorce lawyer
said happy new year.

handsomest jewish man
in south carolina
want to see movie?

gumba said no
tell him i’m your movie man
i call you gumba.

he never gave me
beer or punch in the nose
like you joked.

beautiful necklace
sixty inch mitsubushi
reserved hockey box
`

Billy Joel / Piano Man
`
“sing us a song
you’re the piano man
a song tonight”
`

Muse & don’t try this at home

 

since they rhyme
can place on same page
i’m doing it.
`

Boardwalk Empire review in haiku:
`
“you can’t go around
stealing from people”
blasted sociopaths.<- me

(some mob boss
said this to college student
who offered to pay).

what the bleep
do you do every day
of your life idiot. <- me

`
`
last week :

“voting democrat
hazardous to your health”
when i hit you. <- me talking not me hitting
`

saturday part II / a shark,a chute, a shower

After the parachutes:

Kite making S’s
arabian music playing
red snake tail.

Falls to earth
” we’re living on a prayer”
music changes.

`
Showering with a n y accent:

“Did that woman
just shout a haiku at me
well i’ll be darn”.

“How could it take him
that long to get here?
it’s not that far”
`
she sprays sunscreen
twenty four hours a day
must run from her.
`
Let’s try ocean
girl runs over asks
if i am greek.

why did she ask? no i’m not.i’m from s.c.
She thinks it’s fate. she lives in greenville where i spent most of my life.my home is in arlington where she spent most of her life.
`
Then horrible man
size fourteen shoe steps
on jellyfish.

nightmares for me
nightmares for the fish
her loved ones.
`
around 5:00

black chutes
twenty eight hotels away
jumping off roof.

how it appeared
floating up to the ground
over and over.
`
THEN JAWS:

i stop to stare at a giant shark head.any size would be giant to me.he was just at the edge of the surf. eventually 3 people came & took his picture. his eyes were staring at me. i couldn’t leave.am i the answer man?everyone asks me .is that what i think it is? how did he get here?

then a man:

“Honey reach in
get me a tooth out
make me a necklace”

not for a million
sir are you related
potato chip guy?

( who wanted to deep fry the jellyfish )

his beautiful balloon

is that superman
what’s that in the air ?
parachuters

three blue one orange
floating through the sky
not one cloud

two p.m. touchdown
sands of myrtle beach
better than football
`

“Up Up & Away”

” would you like to ride
in my beautiful balloon
for we can fly”

” Up Up and away
hey in my beautiful, my
beautiful balloon”.

quack quack quack ack ack

pond traffic jam

someone stopped suddenly

duck built in horn.

`

The sign says:

water leaking

ocean closed for repairs

come back tomorrow.

`

“Signs” Tesla

“the sign says
long hair freaky people
do this don’t do that”

`
also:

you can’t swim
when there is no water
in water pipes.

it’s a rule
man said you can go in now
i don’t want to.

what are you saying
people were in pool before
we both laughed.

“some yahoo used
the wrong pipe six feet under”
man on cell phone.

hexagonal haiku

dogs tell me their
problems but i don’t speak
their language milkbones do.
–
gentleman said
“let me get that for you”
automatic door.
–
message in a bottle
help let me out of here
washes ashore.
–
gaggle of geese
diligently giggling
under the porch.
–
man woke up to say
oh you’ve come back
i always come back.
–
when i found out
what bloody mary was named for
i didn’t want one.