mr. mishuginah haiku

`
if seinfeld is on
goes straight to his chair saying
hello when over.

(Sunday Nights)
pizza at seven
he picks the movie because
G-d knows i can’t.

i’m only errin
spelling four movies per week
why listen to me.

what could i know read
every yankee newspaper
don’t ask your girlfriend.

after four years
one night he asked what i
wanted to watch.

mad about you finale
after two minutes
he said you like this?
`
(sunday morning)
read every new york
newspaper run through arlington
cemetery.

when ordering pizza
ask if it comes with bread
bread every meal.

likes to shower
when lightning strikes it only
strikes once for thee.

thursday night jazz
friday night jazz saturday
night you guessed.

saturday watch him
hit golf balls and planes land at
national airport

only interest is
going to library seeing
who is correct.

now he runs by himself
arlington cemetery
i don’t watch.

“it’s not his face”

“go tell aunt rhody”
she’s really uncle fred

“it’s the right time
and the wrong place

time for mr. bubble
“double double toil and trouble”

have another potato knish
my command is as you wish

spinach crepe or gefilte fish
better get you a larger dish

turtle dove and sparkly fish
waltz together in their niche

~

(It’s Alright With Me / Sinatra)

“Though your face is charming

it’s the Wrong Face not his face

alright with me “.

~

(It’s the Right Time)

“It’s the right time

sun is shining in window

once in a lifetime”

~

(Right Time of the Night)

“You and me baby

the stars are winkin above

for makin love”.

saturday jellyfish shuffle

push him to the left
when ocean covers his head
he floats back to sand
`
under the boardwalk
down by the sea gay mullet
jumping in schools.

deviled crab running
underneath on bottom
giant pink jellyfish.

floating against grass
guy says “look at that toad fish”
silly it’s a crab.
`
(At Sea)
six tiny nibbling fish
dining on the bad fate
one used as bait.

dining sounds sweet
but really i stop myself
from saying this:

sociopath six
and the horrible fisherman
who killed him.

but i knew the man
tis october where is he
look up he’s waving.

why can’t you use
a bang -o -lure or rapalla
be a good sport.
`

Beach Boys/ Under The Boardwalk:

“I’ll Love You right there
In the Sand under the Boardwalk
Down by the Sea”.

“As the Sun goes Down
We’ll Take a walk along the Strand
I want to go”.

“On a blanket
With my baby that’s where I’ll be
Under the Boardwalk”.

II conscious pairings

–
show me a handsome man
and i’ll show you a woman
who loves him.

“show me a beautiful
woman i’ll show you a
man” who is tired.

–

six tiny birds
land on railing next to me
precise second

must remember me
yesterday fed rice krispie
cerael treats.

–

“what the heck was that
was windows xp skype
but how can it be

because you are here
yours doesn’t do that
helicopter taking off”.

–
what to buy the man
who has everything
a piece of the berlin wall.

sherman hemsley socks
but then HSN asks you
talk to sherman.

Camelflaged & other pairings

–
when camel camouflages
himself against sand
master cannot see.

lethargic camel
devising way to rest
in dictionary.
–

“send your camel to bed”
he’s not a “belly dancer”
or prancer.

it’s midnight do you
know where your camel is
wrapping hanukkah gift.

–
grandmother chased
uncle around the table
sweet potato pie.

daddy could eat
twenty potato pancakes
she counted one day.

–
excuse me can you
please stop a minute so i
can read your tattoo .

why do people have
writing across their neck
tiny lettering .

permission to board

~
i pet a dog and
i liked it he was tall
no leaning over
~
balcony cardinal
girlfriend flew up to meet him
he fed her by beak.
~
if the dolphin feel
like coming to the boat
they have permission.
~

while in the restroom
her husband bought a car
couple were engaged

~
fighting for land
haven’t “come a long way baby”
five thousand years
~
“don’t go in seven feet
mama knows CPR
but she can’t swim”.
~
kuthrapoly,
poly sci,polly want a cracker,
polygamy

~
ducks politely surround
until bread goes
inside their mouths.

~
“feel free to do
other things while you wait”
thank-you computer.
~
mom says stop kicking
dad says leave here alone
just having fun
~
how old is too old
to cry because you don’t
want to go home.

~
“why would i bring
your sunglasses” maybe because
you love your husband.
~

He’s the MesAyah “Alone”

“sitting alone waiting for
you to come home
it’s just so nice” …..

i was asleep
computer on all night
seven three oh.

how could this happen
doing what the song said
at two it knew.

(that was this morning
same thing happened last week
and again at two).
~
you did it again
i didn’t touch anything
was barely awake.

song starts playing
i said that’s mesayah
how did he do that?

jewish but must
follow mesayah think he’s
really mesiah.

a few haiku out of the blue

`
“envious”

his nom de plume
was jealous of his other
nom de plume.

`
“housekeeping”

for over a year
could have had clean towels
i’m the dumb one.

`

“september fishermen”

catch your death
angler’s test line
beheading you.

`

“poodle & shepherd”

ottie and annie
living a dog’s life
two cool katz.

`
“all october/ funny fisherman”

red test line
angler tapping my head
as i walk by.

`
“and she said”

“bloody mary
with a crab leg stuck in it”
almost a haiku

`
“conch”

findinany?
it’s like catchinany
but for sea shells.

`

“weather channel sunday”

mostly cloudy
opposite of mostly sunny
never get it right.

`

“sun in your eyes”

walking backwards
mr. am i behind you
or in front of you.

`

“Roxanne”

“you don’t have
to put on the red light”
or your clothes.

`

“big bang theory/ leonard ”

” because if all guys
were like me the human race
couldn’t survive”

`
“braces”

dental hygenist
loves bread and cheetoes
favorite work.

`
“you sound marvelous”

rock star maid
earpiece on her head
sings while she works.

`
walmart

frozen spinach
place in microwave listen
for metal popping .

`
“snoopy doesn’t hang”

“hang on sloopy”
won a yellow t shirt
a little tight.

.
thought it was snoopy
for near ninety year
fear i can’t hear.