part II fish kissing ducks

thirsting for water
turning my back to the sun
i saw them behind

humankind watching
dolphin playing in the sea
dancing for a treat

they like milky way?
flipping in all directions
half hour play date

until all you see
as far as the eye glimpses
tiny black dots.
_
Man Laughs At Me

“you feeding mullet”
i don’t see any ducks
“have to come early ”

(he doesn’t know what
he’s talking about they eat
every hour of day

also fish racist
he only feeds certain fish ?
doesn’t feed any )

three fish see baguette
they become twelve gobbling
surface ocean’s pond

see they pass come back
swim around again return
water so clear blue

two kiss on each side
now they’re swimming circles
three trying at once

everyone decides
counterclockwise way to go
didn’t tell me why

you won’t believe this
i saw with my own eyes
duck and fish each end

fish swim under duck
see who can grab the bread first
they kiss each other

they’re kissing cousins
take bread right out of your mouth
turtle fish duck

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flounder and floundering

Mr. Mullet

blues left canada
what? it’s cold in canada!
no left the COUNTY
.
we’ll have reese’s tomorrow
peanut butter cups?
no we’ll have RACES.
_

Halloween Jellyfish

mushroom jellyfish
brown stem also lobster claws
filling station flags
.
firmly planted in ground
spaceship bubble take off
jelly to NASA
.
are we clear lift off
you’re clear pink thin onion ring
negative take off .
_

woman holding rod
tentacles on her black cap
black skirt bikini
.
forgot halloween
mr. mullet told me crazy
giant spider .
_
grandma caught flounder
mr. mullet’s wife’s mother
sitting position.
.
(can’t read my haiku
hard to write in the ocean
there are no tables)
.
grandma was so proud
showing flounder in bucket
both alive kicking
.
grandma and flounder
told her i’ll see you next year
if we both make it
.
those were her words
i was thinking the same thing
hope she brings reese’s.

part I

chanukkahturkekahgibletkah

on the first day of hanukkah
my true duck will send to me
a round trip ticket to fly for free
join him at home in his palm tree
.
on the second day of chanukah
my true love will explain to me
how thanksgiving and chanukkah can be on the same day you see
and two lovely camels to wrap gifts and saute ghee
yes a big help to me
.
on the third day of hannukkah
my true love will cook for me
three somethings that contain no all er gy
no wheat no sugar, no eggs or soy & they’re glu ten free
they also should come in rhymes of three
.
on the fourth day of chanukkah
my true love bakes for me
four black and white cookies in the state of new jer sey
they don’t come from the south , not that i ever did see
wanted one since they were on seinfeld in a ba ker y
.
on the fifth day of hannukah
my true love grates for me
five potato latkes and one to hang on his tr ee
four black and white cookie
three foods allergy free
two camels sauteing ghee
and my duck waiting in his tree
warm paradise of the red sea

on the sixth day of hanukkah
my true love gives to me
six ipods he bought on the second day of hanukkah , yes black fri dy
(we don’t say day in the south but dy or some of us with accents sill y)
two for my camels,one for my duck and three for me
for home, land and sea
or maybe ipads actually
i forgot what he told me
forgot the difference, a little technical mishuggy

on the seventh day of channukah
my true love makes for me
seven spinning dreidels and a sho pping spree ee
wherever the dreidel lands he ki sses me
like an alle go ry
becuase he thinks it’s like a spin the bottle par ty
and that’s al right with me

on the eighth day of channnukkah
my true love brings to me
eight baby ducks and we wash them in i vory
no not dawn because they’re not greasy
then we have high tea
it’s so pepper min ty
we sit by the sea ,listen to sym phony
dolphin on chord of harp sy
tuna plie instead of play because they’re dol phin free
he pulls out the best gift and it’s not po ppy
hamantaschen with prune if you know my tummy
and a hanukkah filled with frui ty pas t ry
my mother loved jane parker fruit cakes from the A&P
and that’s alright too with me makes hanukkah christ mas y


*You can try to sing
To the twelve days of christmas
And you may succeed

all i want for hanukkah is olivia pope

On the first night, second day of hanukkah, scandals’s on ABC
you can watch with me
or on your own tv
is even on hulu for free
we will drink sweet tea
sandwhich you some turkey
yes with cranberry
mine bread’s gluten free
just for you turkey
spinach quiche with brie
that will be for me
pumpkin muffins with cranberry
desert crepe blueberry
cause bf’s allergic to strawberry
also father ,daddy
“eat anything that won’t eat me”
rather listen to john cocuzzi
also with john prevetti
and big joe , who make “THE BIG THREE”
jazz in washington d.c.
cool katz yes sir ee
sing jazzy christmas by the tree
piano and fire , john cocuzzi, the
my favorite hanukkah you see
but i am by the sea
so i’ll watch scandal on tv
wait for gift, filigree
not on bended knee
but through the chimney
and a malibu barbie

errinspelling

it’s that time of year.well, no  it’s a different time, every year.you have to look at the jewish calendar or an american calendar and subtract a day.only four more shopping days or  if you are reformed five more shopping days.so hard to find a good parking place.the lines at the mall are unbelieveable.the hanukkah decorations are beautiful,if you can find any decorations. macy’s has so many dreidel ornaments to hang on your tree, but you don’t have a tree. unless… you are married to someone who is christian.there must be a lot of interfaith marriages.why else would macy’s have so many different hanukkah, chridtmas tree ornaments.bloomingdales always has chocolate covered apples with royal blue ribbons. i like to decorate with these, because i haven’t seen any new hanukkah decorations ,since 1st  grade. godiva likes to wrap candy boxes in blue ribbon also. that magically turns them into chanukkah gifts.

you watch for all…

View original post 151 more words

what kept george carlin awake

tell your doctor if
there’s a change in body hair
as opposed to what

can you do the math
five am trying to sleep
commercial appears

if you take this pill, this is what the doctor needs to know? first of all the expression body hair is so annoying.where else would someone have hair if not on their body ? and second, that’s what’s important to tell the dr? i don’t think so, but okay dr, i took this pill & my mexican hairless grew an updo last night.or i was getting ready to open this coconut after i took this pill & he acquired a blue mustache.it scared me so badly, i had to take another pill, a purple pill for heartburn, which then gave me leaky gut syndrom, another horrible name & hey they don’t list that for side effects in the purple commercial,or what it means in layman’s terms,losing ability to absorb vitamins from vegetables, but that’s another story.

perhaps this would happen & then i would be thrilled to tell the dr.hey doc i have had curly hair all my life but i took this pill & awoke with straight hair. in this case she would be thrilled & buy stock in the company. i would too.this would be important.we would market the pill and put the crazy kiosk girl at the mall out of business.

what would george carlin say to this girl.one day you walk by this hair straightening device & they put the business in a place where you have to pass it ten times…the owner will not leave you alone.please, please let me show you how beautiful your hair would be….(oh i know i spent two hours at graham webb international ,with 1 person on each side & then an hour at the chiropractor across the street many, many days. people say my hair is beautiful , even when you fall down the stairs & it’s taped to the ems board at the hospital & i say are you kidding me).okay just be quiet already.have your fun,but i don’t want turbo silk.then he tapped his magic wand & i became cinderella.how can you resist when he tells you the price is $1 & guarantees a new one if it breaks.you think oh sure ,you will still be in business & at tyson’s mall.
a year goes by & he is still there,and you can’t go without straightening your hair, to make him happy.
on the lower level, in the new addition, there is another kiosk in a bad place. bad , because you have to keep walking by devices to CURL your hair.you walk as far away as possible , because the girl keeps trying to grab you. i will not look at you. why do they always think i am their mark.i try to look mean & think mean to myself . you are an idiot if you are too dumb to see i just spent thirty minutes straightening my hair with turbo silk from the guy upstairs and have the nerve to ask me if i would love to have curly hair and not two minutes ago , a woman on the escalator in bloomingdale’s said your hair is beautiful.and if you dare to ask , you will be leaving through the window , also.and she did, but i didn’t.
*only the $1 was changed to protect his true price,which is different for every person.

why is it quiet
i didn’t have to do math
because it’s raining

i didn’t have to
wake at five to count how many
hours til eight

i can take a pill
a tranquilizer to sleep
wake and tell doctor

if my hair is straight
or curly when i wake up
it’s so important

what would we do without
commercials telling us
what is important

haiku appear out of thin air

it’s a joke to me
because i don’t have much
oxygen in my brain.

i have hundreds of haiku ;enough to last until next summer, but not a lot of time.

haiku appear from
nowhere but questions for movers
take too much thought.

i started this in florida to write about criminal companies, but i had to wait until the criminals were finished, so instead i wrote about the crime in orlando. then i was sidetracked by haiku month last february.

last week a woman who retired from the legislature in n.j. moved here full time, to her home of 30 years.she never wants to leave..she also was in florida , 30 minutes from me & cried every day.florida will do that to you.she gave her son money for child care & came here with her husband.. even their 14 year old dog bosco got ill from depression in florida….that’s what his vet said.why not a dog.last week i saw a horse, who was depressed on andy griffith, when his father went on vacation.

florida should be the state that makes you cry,or universal orlando…i cry because there is no pizza hut there to deliver.why do i keep moving to places with no pizza hut delivery…potomac maryland- no pizza hut & now myrtle beach in this zip code either.the last time i had a veggie lover’s was 2004 at my house in charleston.
why am i thinking of pizza, because yesterday some criminal searched the best time to deliver pizza flyers & found me here.

only a criminal would do that, b/c it is illegal.they are asking the best time to commit a crime.the only way to put the pizza mafia out of business is if everyone calls the phone number on the flyer over & over so no one can order pizza & i don’t think that will work…they will just keep going to jail & hiring people who make bail & making pizza in bathtubs or just stealing your credit card number when you call for a nonexistent pizza.

last week i started to write a long story about stupid people asking me the same question over & over for 2 years, & instead of punching them ,saying you can go read my answer here.it isn’t anyone at wordpress, but i decided not to, because if you don’t have enough time to read people you follow, you shouldn’t write.and i am busy thinking up questions for movers..

it takes me six days to think of each question.i only have five now.they aren’t simple. they are very strange questions, because no one has been in this situation before.
how do you move to a city that only has furnished condos & get your things from 2 other states & 2 other condos & you have to use 2 different movers . you have no choice.

one of these companies who you didn’t hire came into your home and took everything you own while you were at the hospital .some day i will write stories about them.

they pretended to pack the entire place that i had spent 2 months packing & i have 11 witnesses & charged me 4700.00 to go 10 minutes away.. the same exact things allied had charged me only 1800.00 to move to maryland from s.c. that i had packed.
just now i found a mover who will go the same distance estimates 793.00. they really have to pack this time though, because i left 9 years ago & i can’t go in the building with toxic mold.

last week someone said you have spent 12,000 storing your things for 2 years…i didn’t say no i spent 24,000 storing 2 homes, because don’t you think i know that.i’m not bitter ben i can do math..why do you think i can’t sleep…700.00 for a condo & 1000.00 to store everything you own.obviously my things are very important & the next person who says something is leaving through the window & then i will be on law & order in jail.so do me a favor & don’t ask any more stupid questions.

why don’t i go into your home & take everything you own away from you,all your pictures of your parents, your dog who was your life, your clothes, your 80 black dresses , all the wedding presents your dead relatives gave you, all the needlepoint & knitting your mother made in her life, the 300 scarves you made, rugs you made, needlepoint picctures, your pillows it hurts your neck to sleep without & you can’t find comfortable ones anywhere, your prescriptions for 3 months , that’s only 6000.00, 16 bottles of supplemants the dr just gave you, you can’t just get at the store……………..the real list is much better, but i am trying to not remember
what they really have, or i will never sleep & the crazy guys who stole the floor outside my bedroom so i am trapped since sunday on the fourth floor again ,with the saw buzzing , cutting wood to make new floors at 8 am every day.
tomorrow if they aren’t finished , i will cut a hole in the balcony screen & climb the tree & play with the 3 raccoons i see, who really shouldn’t be there: then we will go to the beach, b/c it’s 73 tomorrow and all of the conch shells will be for us.

they just love to waste money here building .last week they decided to build a new sidewalk all the way to the highway. nothing was wrong with the old one.for some reason this means you have to lock my lunch, clothes ,haiku & shoes in the beach pool & say they told you to lock the beach, which is nowhere near the sidewalk. but that’s not as bad as the 2 people the security guard locked in the pool.maybe next time he will look.it was alright , i had crackers on my towel at the beach.no it wasn’t when i went back, jonathan livingston seagull & 30 of his closest friends had pecked the crackers open. they even opened the bag of shells & threw them around.

low tide puppy tennis

11/16

lots of asses in
the sand literally
and figuratively.
`
dog perks up as he
sees his brother of
another color arrive.
`

found a lonely
minnow floating on ocean’s cork
without fisherman

you lose a minnow
“where the heck did you find that
no but i’ll take it ”

catch anything yet
“no it’s a pretty day not
to catch something though”

“pretty weather for
a day in november huh”
states the obvious

11/17
I
he’s cleaning beach pool
asked how long i had been there
had i heard swearing

said that he was dumb
put the pump in bass ackwards
i said i was dumb

yesterday i walked
behind a couple reading
thought i could be spy

six inches behind
quietly they never looked up
wait why no sound

had forgotten my
flip flops much like omg
i just did again.
`
II

came up behind me
lady and her chihuahua
deserted beach spot

we were both looking
said she had been watching me
she looked at my top

called me “silly goose”
obviously a james bond shirt
intricate puzzle

as lost as i was
don’t know how i put it on
she wished me good luck.

i’m still standing here
in my bikini trying
to put on this top .

11/18

eighty one degrees
mostly cloudy means the sun
never ever fades .

ocean parallel
father serves tennis ball for
black dog with white spots

after catching ball
ritual running all the
way to the ocean

wildly circles lap
with tennis ball in his mouth
lays on his towel

next to his bottle
tail asks father pour water
back for ten more serves

waiting on his towel
his tail never stops wagging
perrier in bowl.