what kept george carlin awake

tell your doctor if
there’s a change in body hair
as opposed to what

can you do the math
five am trying to sleep
commercial appears

if you take this pill, this is what the doctor needs to know? first of all the expression body hair is so annoying.where else would someone have hair if not on their body ? and second, that’s what’s important to tell the dr? i don’t think so, but okay dr, i took this pill & my mexican hairless grew an updo last night.or i was getting ready to open this coconut after i took this pill & he acquired a blue mustache.it scared me so badly, i had to take another pill, a purple pill for heartburn, which then gave me leaky gut syndrom, another horrible name & hey they don’t list that for side effects in the purple commercial,or what it means in layman’s terms,losing ability to absorb vitamins from vegetables, but that’s another story.

perhaps this would happen & then i would be thrilled to tell the dr.hey doc i have had curly hair all my life but i took this pill & awoke with straight hair. in this case she would be thrilled & buy stock in the company. i would too.this would be important.we would market the pill and put the crazy kiosk girl at the mall out of business.

what would george carlin say to this girl.one day you walk by this hair straightening device & they put the business in a place where you have to pass it ten times…the owner will not leave you alone.please, please let me show you how beautiful your hair would be….(oh i know i spent two hours at graham webb international ,with 1 person on each side & then an hour at the chiropractor across the street many, many days. people say my hair is beautiful , even when you fall down the stairs & it’s taped to the ems board at the hospital & i say are you kidding me).okay just be quiet already.have your fun,but i don’t want turbo silk.then he tapped his magic wand & i became cinderella.how can you resist when he tells you the price is $1 & guarantees a new one if it breaks.you think oh sure ,you will still be in business & at tyson’s mall.
a year goes by & he is still there,and you can’t go without straightening your hair, to make him happy.
on the lower level, in the new addition, there is another kiosk in a bad place. bad , because you have to keep walking by devices to CURL your hair.you walk as far away as possible , because the girl keeps trying to grab you. i will not look at you. why do they always think i am their mark.i try to look mean & think mean to myself . you are an idiot if you are too dumb to see i just spent thirty minutes straightening my hair with turbo silk from the guy upstairs and have the nerve to ask me if i would love to have curly hair and not two minutes ago , a woman on the escalator in bloomingdale’s said your hair is beautiful.and if you dare to ask , you will be leaving through the window , also.and she did, but i didn’t.
*only the $1 was changed to protect his true price,which is different for every person.

why is it quiet
i didn’t have to do math
because it’s raining

i didn’t have to
wake at five to count how many
hours til eight

i can take a pill
a tranquilizer to sleep
wake and tell doctor

if my hair is straight
or curly when i wake up
it’s so important

what would we do without
commercials telling us
what is important

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8 thoughts on “what kept george carlin awake

  1. Very, very fun–and insightful.

    I rarely watch television–not because I’m a snob, but because I got too busy to follow any shows.

    Sometimes, though, I’ll be somewhere and watch some television. The commercials stun me.

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