pirates take two for haiku it’s true

do you have a ship
“i have a boat dingy cars
house and a condo”

`
pirate worrying
living after his parrot
sixty more years

`
senior pirate
making joke at his own expense
he was sixty five
`
whatever he said
was funnier and a haiku
but lost at sea
`
a real live pirate
parrot talking upside down
in myrtle beach
`
talking to people
taking pictures with children
back to their condo
`
see no money change hands
just snapping his likeness
must be true pirate
`

maybe last dinosaur
walked around saying you
can take my photo.

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haiku tv V like chanel

“why must you fight with
your model if you have to fight
fight with your wife”

Gracie Allen

“i’ve had three kids you know
these were not just for show
these were working breats”

Debra / Everybody Loves Ray
`
“we’re taking the hit
but blaming me i thought we
had each other’s back”

Benson on Law & Order SVU
`
“i’d like a bottle
of your eight dollarest please”
your finest wine sir

Brooklyn 99
`
“oh doctor hartley
doris under sedation
is christmas enough”

Mr. Peterson on Bob Newhart
`

“i like the way you
laugh at that likes it not a
possibility”

The Trip
`
” she’s been going on
about that thing like it’s king
tut’s golden undies”

Frank Barone on Everybody Loves Ray
`
“which one is starsky
well obviously the one
on the driver’s side”

Raising Hope
`

“he used to walk
on his tiptoes so he wouldn’t
wake himself up”

(sleepwalking) Gracie Allen
`

“look how cute you look
in your little pajamas
got a back trap door”

Everybody Loves Ray
`

haiku tv four or 3184 or something

“don’t condemn a
whole group of people for the
actions of a few”

Archie Bunker said this

`
“get Psychology Today
tomorrow, get Tomorrow’s
Health today”

Bob Newhart
`
“Herb she’s married her
legs are no longer under
your jurisdiction”

The Mothers-In-Law
`
“you are a scorpion
and every word out of
your mouth is a lie”

Covert Affairs
`
“now i’ve never heard
of a reverting dog who
didn’t stay that way”

Columbo
`
“believe me no one
wanted to give you a baby
more than i did”

General Hospital
`
“i haven’t said
anything in two days and
nobody even cared”

D J on Roseanne
`
“he can hate brussel
sprouts, he can hate white people
he can’t hate football”

King of Queens
`
“you have two hours
to collect your belongings
and leave the country”

“this isn’t a test
case Rick it’s how we do business
it’s what we do”

The Assets
`
“do you need a math
tutor because the department
will provide one”

“shot in line duty
ouch you ran over my foot
incredible pain”

Brooklyn Nine Nine
`
“i have no idea
what either of you are doing
but let’s shut up”

Uncle Junior (sopranos) as judge on Good Wife
`
“bring five dollars for
gas and change your shoes you may
have to push the car”

Axl to Sue on The Middle
`

misty croslin cummings croslin 2014

depraved drug kingpin
dealing rearview mirror school
Honeybun Croslin

full life by eighteen
babysitting at seventeen
stepmom eighteen

months in between lies
missing murder haleigh drugs
lying to police

did i mention lies
DISNEY marriage and divorce
every single day

undercover cop
buyer riding in your car
off to jail you go

twenty five years
honey buns braiding hair missing
lying to cops

can’t wait for the day
you are charged with murder
feel it in your bones

Radioactive
.

“On the prison bus
breathing in the chemicals
feel it in your bones”

“mean i’ve had a rough
day at work but i don’t get
to go to Disney”
.
Nancy Grace CNN 10/5/09

she had a rough year
misplacing a child from bed
fed alligators

lied hourly
sold drugs to undercover
bought sold AND swallowed

having now twenty five
years to learn the difference
between come and came

if i had a nickel
every time you said i come home
billionaire

interrupting
this haiku with nancy grace
radioactive song .

hi high birdie sanctuary

paradise posing
photographer’s pictures painting
peak perfection

uninhabited
having the beach to ourselves
no one can build here

her will giving birds
the sands next door forever
beautiful conch shells

mile of ecstasy
no one in each other’s way
quiet roominess

birds in the trees
whispering thank-yous while egret
poses elation

___

(thinking they’re egret
walking like an egyptian
steve martin king tut)

what’s your name in throes of passion

i am so dizzy
you know you want to say this
who the heck are you

you cannot stop me
i am going to say this
wish it had been you

change your name daily
pyramid scheme some such crime
stewie griffin quote

“if it wasn’t right
the first 10 times you said it
why would it be now”

if you aggravate me
you’re going out the window
risk entering

Yesterday

“i said something wrong
now i long for yesterday
easy game to play”

Beatles

Jesus didn’t have a pillow commercial

wikipedia
7000 BCE
pillows invention

man on tv states
why you should join their church
he had no pillow

fibromyalgia
my first painful thought
then is he mishuginah

(not about pillow
but what he’s talking about
why go to his church)

(not the church next door
or the one across the street
two miles down the road)

how could people sleep
watch someone come ask me why
i said BCE

egyptians had pillows
3500 BCE
years before

ask dot com says so
this would be funny if it
wasn’t haiku month

i have twelve pillows
and i’m still not comfortable
missing my feathered

if he is correct
good reason to join his church
i have no answer

thankful wasn’t there
no car wrecks or toxic mold
still i’d shoot myself

betting no guns yet
no AC,computer,bath
tv plane music…………