jim cramer opening 3 days to beach house haiku

“you’ve turned into
sylvia plath this morning
what happened to you”

“agressive shopping
do you own a beach house
remarkable question”

yes remarkable
jim has a magic mirror
should i live that long

“switching back to soy
what do you use baby milk
almond is too sweet”

“they’ve done a lot of
thermonuclear testing
no longer milk based”

velveeta ?

talk about window
“windows is out the window
about agnostics”

“is it real the deal
they are talking about
that it’s seven percent”

“i think that CEO
has gone that’s what people
are talking about”

—

should you awaken
humorous morning haiku
eye opening bell

bashful dancing scandal roseanne

do you have nightmares
having to dance by yourself
you missed dancing school

go to make up class
just you and one cute boy
yankee doodle dandy

this really happened
but he was in the wrong class
missing because ill

so embarrassing
“my yankee doodle sweetheart”
mothers saying cute

but now i wake up
the nightmare is waking up
realize you are ill

has happened a lot
over the last fourteen years
everyone staring

silly recurring
wishing you could go to class
trade off bashfulness

but scary nightmares
husband said like steven king
never ever seen

people write nightmares
wise man told me to forget
a brilliant idea

i quit watching scandal
nightmare about roseanne barr
realizing why

olivia cut
tracking chip from mother’s back
roseanne dug mine out

See Mick Run

dine with haiku television nine

Gracie said she can’t
“have oysters at lunch because
there’s no R in it”

George & Gracie
`
(my brother’s best friend
Elliott Gould’s attorney
until his murder)

“now do you just want
to do it like this with no
feeling on my part”

Bob & Carol Ted & Alice
Dyan Cannon to Elliot Gould
`

“if anyone should
spend a night in teen ranger jail
it should be me”

Bob’s Burgers
`

“i will be writing
an order of protection
after this meeting”

The Good Wife
`
“this is going to
happen and there’s nothing you
can do about it”

General Hospital
`

“and the fact that you’re
unhappy proves that you are
not selfish at all”

The Middle
`

“i know we used to
dance together all the time”
“way to kill moment”

About A Boy
`

“come here kiss me Tim
or whatever your name is”
“there will be nightmares”

The Blacklist
`

lifeguard flip flops

everything funny
begins and ends at walmart
this may be the end

walmart for people
with very large shoes to fill
elevens only

flipping in the sand
one year four sizes too big
stolen one hour

twenty dollar flip
not three dollar walmart pair
did you lose something

yes lost my temper
you look like you lost something
very observant

a pair of lifeguards
deducing thoughts in your head
WAVElength frequency

Next Day

“find stolen shoes
next time leave at life guard stand”
WERE TWO FEET BEHIND you

“we don’t look behind us”
you watch people’s shoes?
“well no not really”

“but who is going
to steal from the lifeguard stand”
a sociopath ?

man without a country

sweet weather channel
every time it rains inside
every twelve seconds

just like last monday
another piece slips away
you did it again

saturday forecast
will never understand you
could have reached blue sea

dummy sitting here
shopping silicone lining
royal blue cookie sheets

amazon bakeware
hurricane winter pastry
emergency cakes

first task check weather
as a good little girl should
you’re not fooling me

high sixty seven
you say this at eleven
two p m is high

so why at five uhr
on the ten day forecast page
was SEVENTY THREE

at twelve twenty five
I could have gonE TO The BEACH
people shout haiku

four long months inside
aggravated by movers
every single day

moving in the snow
hurricane when i moved in
weather just hates me

in seven short days
buying vacation condo
renting to tourists

i’m glad i didn’t
waste time hiring a
management company

five minutes ago
realized i have to live there
molding glass ceiling

how can it not be
rained in all of december
raccoons keep tearing

it’s raining right now
have not thought about packing
can’t do that again

can you tell me why
d j ‘s play sad music
foggy and rainy out

PLAY BOOGIE FEVER
don’t play LIES OF HANDSOME MEN
need Brubeck’s take five

the sun just came out
heard that song for a year already
that’s enough

not late haiku television 8

“three rocks two fingers
and a splash of water Frank
had this every night”

commercial / Frank Sinatra
`

“he didn’t need lipstick
on his face for proof
he knew he’d been kissed”

Gracie Allen
`

” a very important meeting
how to destroy
our competitors”

The Good Wife
`

“oh Chichi I’ll do
anything if it means you’re
mentally balanced”

Marie Barone
`

“WE oh no you had
your chance to be we for like
a year and a half”

Leonard / Big Bang Theory
`

“your smoke alarm’s
going to start beeping at two
forty one a m ”

Person Of Interest
`

” I think it would be
better if we just let things
happen naturally”

The Middle

“I don’t know but could
you need it right now just to
get me through the day”

Ray Barone / Everybody Loves Ray
`

“look my heart breaks
for you and your family
and what you have gone through”

“it’s a little bit
early in our investigation
to know that”

Blue Bloods
`
“whatever you just
did for him you won’t ever
have to do again”

Law And Order SVU

fruitful multiplying haiku

buy brie december
expiration may thirteen
how does cheese know this
`
he can’t eat butter
i can’t have margarine
his turtle likes chiffon
`
never spending day
with wine spending four thousand
sandy chihuahua
`
why is this called
a preview when you can see
the entire post

`
those fruitcake grocers
don’t sell duke’s mayonnaise although
they do sell fruitcakes
`
baseball nemesis
taking boyfriend to china
leave gehrig behind
`
raindrops kept falling
on my head too every time
i went in the hall

keep having to change
tense from past to present
aggravating haiku
`

her husband’s an ass
father changed him into one
samantha stevens
`

if you go missing
after one hundred years
do they close your case file
`

grapes go forth at once
multiplying into wine
turning toes purple
`

dog days of summer

summertime fish jumping
they are high on cotton
cotton’s high in field

yankees to the shore
southerners flee to beaches
where the air is clean

pesticides in pond
four eyes fish trying to escape
smoke from haystack

dogs jump in car
bringing only towel and bone
forgetting sunscreen

hound chow their puppy
barking at every mail truck
passing subaru

eventually arriving
Lee’s Inlet Kitchen
hush puppy dinner

Wing’s Duncan shopping
shelling out shells for sunscreen
walk along beach

first stop salt water
pond where mullet jump for joy
chasing duck warm up

frisbee on warm sand
cooling off sea, shaking dry
barking at seagulls

back to their condo
egg salad sandwich lunch
peanut butter bones

dreaming of dinner
along the way to the beach
barking at mailman

beer steamed hot dogs Lums
one time owner Caesar’s Palace
sixty million

dining Lums a dream
nebraska massachesetts
only two exist

hitching Drunken Jack’s
hush puppies honey butter
vegan sole filet

strawberry daiquiri
watch fishing boats through window
coquille st jacques

dear weather channel

i love that you state three reasons you do not have email.

here’s a fourth : people would complain about how you are always wrong .

that wasn’t my reason . i wanted to ask you to please stop with the overwhelming tragic pictures . what’s wrong with you. who wants to see this. you can only fit 6 hours of tempertatures on the page , beacause there are a million
heartbreaking ads , you cannot help but see. i’m going to find weather somewhere else. start my own weather station.

i could guess better. how can you be 8 degrees off.there isn’t one day where ,you are right. you cannot even agree with yourself, the tv version of you – the weather channel.have you ever heard of a meteorologist? if my brother -in-law , who is one and a CPA wasn’t retired , i would ask him to please let’s start our own channel. he won an award , as a meteorologist , in georgia.

this is typical. you say the high would be 63
at 2 pm, then on your 10 day forecast at 4 pm , it says the high today was 71 at 1:21. you know you do this.
almost everyday ,like yesterday you said the high would be 69 & only for 2 hours, but it was 71 before even reaching the high.

what i really don’t understand is why the tv gives florence temperatures mainly ,which is 1 & 1/2 hours away.
is that a big tourist area? it takes 5 minutes for you to show the wrong temperature here for 4 seconds..i’m not exaggerating.are you afraid someone in myrtle beach may see the wrong temperatures you show?

i also love when you say it will not rain until 4 pm..0% chance & at 2:20 pm a cement trash can blows across the landing
and tries to knock me down, because the rain is coming in from 4 sides. there’s 2 inches of water on the cement at the pool. you have to hide ,with 6 people , inside the beach umbrella lockers, also in 2 inches of water blowing inside. you can’t close the door because you have bronchitis.

bikini or coat
how do we know what to wear
eight degree difference

a few months ago
warm on the balcony
bikini and sunscreen

twenty mph
wind blowing inside front door
fault not always yours