your best bitter february friend forever and mine bitter ben

`
“nothing gets me up
faster in the morning than
two charley horses”

“wouldn’t it be nice
to shorten this phrase somehow
best friend forever”

(i know you wanted
to shorten this phrase
yet i made it much longer)

“i have so much to do
so little motivation
to do it with”

” when i say that
i am going to do my best
i do not mean it”

“do not be a hater
because my wife thrifted
this awesome jacket”

“ben needs instructions
to open a granola bar
he almost starved”

“if you spend
10,000 hours doing something
you are an expert”

“why is that old guy
always telling me to get
my billions back”

(you should hear
what the guy in the turban told me
from that company)

“we might accomplish
something in a meeting
when flying cars arrive”

(you accomplish haiku
without even knowing
what more can one ask)

“SNL forty
where is my celebration
i am forty one”

“happy pizza day”
yet it’s never gluten free
always on friday

“one hundred percent
keeping all resolutions
made january”

(on february 2)

bensbitterblog.com
`

(found this place twitter
i have never been there once
yet i’m a member

since two thousand twelve
julie andrews and sean penn
were following me

spending four hours
last night trying to log in
the very first time)

`

haiku tv twenty three, it’s Gracie

`
“oh will you get
some ginger ale the chicken
may not like straight bourbon”

“i know you men
would like to be alone so if
i leave you will be”

“couldn’t afford
metronome so my mother turned on
windshield wipers”

Gracie

“carl what have i told you
about not using jesus
as your wing man”

“you don’t have to become
a nun to have a relationship
with G-d”

Mike and Molly

“my conscious doesn’t
take time off just because
i have an erection”

“the fact that his fridge
isn’t full of women’s heads
is a miracle”

Hello Ladies
`
* i meant to hit preview not publish: 21 & 22 haven’t been published yet.

secret service ducks two & shark on thirteenth

`
coming down the hill
hungry ducks meet you half way
reaching salt water

a little patience
not a fan of silly one
firmly poking shin

yellow beak knocking
three times not on the ceiling
pointing stay no no

understanding words
certain this isn’t the first time
he has heard no

long blond hair cowgirl
her husband hello on by
ten minutes later

they have great tans
before catching up they ask
will you come and join us

in the shade
a man is playing his guitar
starting to hum a song

legs dangling over
inspiring table
where thoughts usually sit

from the thirteenth floor
they saw a hammerhead shark
arms can’t stretch that wide

enjoy seeing whale
lift it’s tail to say hello
not too much of him

pierre and his gang
they know how to close a door
shut and lock tightly

when a car backfires
they assume this a gun
shut, surround and protect

`

I’ll Meet You Halfway

“that’s better than no way
there must be someway
to get it together”

Partridge Family

`

horizontal horizon

`
almost horizon
you see a very large kite
impossible sight

this very moment
turns and starts heading toward
fear combatant plane

then you see kind birds
forgotten about blackbirds
until you sit down

coming from the north
they fly in so many patterns
like band practice

who is their teacher
not even any music
without a whistle

best performance
they are taking my breath away
standing ovation

be very quiet
there’s a cute guy sleeping
behind in a lounge chair

book put him to sleep
until he snores once again
so we cannot clap

`

Wally Weatherholt /Alligator takes your hand and you go to jail

errinspelling

i cannot believe after the chalk incident ,when timothy osmar,  was sent to jail for 18 days  for writing on the sidewalk in pink chalk, which is illegal in orlando, unless  mayor  dyer tells you to chalk the sidewalks.wait, no it’s illegal even when he tells you to do this.tim  osmar sued and orlando lost.

they actually arrested wally weatherholt. the alligator took his left hand.they said they would investigate and after a month , they arrested him.he was released on 1000.00 bond but could face 60 days in jail and a fine of 500.00.the crazy things they do in florida.they have so much room in jail.maybe they do.many people like  hector rodriguez and jesse brandon davis were running around shooting people like donovan dirocco and  murdering jeremy and nicholas….

i’m sorry but wally weatherholt is not going to feed any other alligators. he has suffered and will always suffer and putting…

View original post 152 more words

Genuine Leader ! / Patriot Politician ! / Antisemitism . (post # 522)

pink pampas poodle

`
light pink pampas
oysters rockerfellering themselves
under the bridge

one man in the crowd
wearing black bikini while
kicking round green ball

parallel to sea
all the way to ocean’s creek
his ball boomerangs

when finally meet
still playing boomerang
thirty minutes later

dogs love october
walking and wagging all day
no waiting til five

walking their parents
backseat drivers in golf carts
sipping in the sea

annie the poodle
almost on her way home
jumps out of her golf cart

wanted to say hi
her mother saying she knows
only met three times

poodle translation
would you like to ride home with me
in my golf cart

`

show plenty of twenty haiku television

`
when a man
writes a book about you
only polite to marry him

Castle inspired
`

“next time the phone rings
it will be the attorney
general calling”

my phone only rings
district attorney asking
go out with her friend

it’s not what you can do
for your state ,it’s what you
can do for the law

Me

`

“he spoke italian
you know brooklyn italian
he ordered the wine”

Law & Order
`

“one moment of bliss
our magical trash can kiss
i wish i was deaf”

“better get in there
because she just met a guy
on christian mingle”

“if anyone
is dumb enough to kidnap Brick
they will bring him back”

“apparently
in addition to whispering
i am cursing now”

The Middle
`

house of blues

`
finding audience
mission if you so choose this
don’t stop believin’

twenty free tickets
a tribute to journey
d j handing over

only just arrived
show starts at seven thirty
three thirty p m

finally find four
characters swimming indoors
quite remarkable

drinking in laughter
they already had tickets
flying fisherman

floating in the pool
little girl asks sweetly
would you like to play ball

mother yells hey
that’s the lady who tried to give
us tickets last night

father enjoying
saying even the twenty
year olds were singing

they’re laughing at me
because i didn’t realize
live across the street

this would not be
a journey to go see journey
closer than you think

`
“just a small town girl
livin’ in a lonely world
took the midnight train”

Don’t Stop Believin”

`

two limericks & two S.C. looney tunes

`
missed me and wants to come by
an hour to dress to say hi
early alzheimer’s or game
i do not know it’s name
every time that he asks seems a lie

`
she choked a man
“he took too much of the covers”
the bed they shared

Tina Berryhill Rucker/ Spartanburg S.C. 1/24/15

`
boyfriend asleep
Michellle Smart pulls a gun
he resisted advances

Victim Mr. Rucker / Myrtle Beach S.C. /Valentine’s Weekend

she would not take no for an answer
next time just sing tiny dancer
you’re on Santa’s bad list
for using your fist
there will be no gifts now from Prancer

`
Rucker a perp in the first & vic in the second.