baking dozen thirteen

“when you’re fourteen
the world is a very confusing
and sexy place”

Ray Barone to his mother
`

“i’m a bad father
like ernest hemingway or
some other writer”

Peter Griffin / Family Guy
`

“george always says that
one woman like me is enough
for any man”

Gracie
`

“just so the ice cream
doesn’t go to waste i think
you better eat it”

Ward Cleaver to Beaver
`

“you’re all a bunch of
pigs i smell bacon this whole
place reeks of bacon”

“and guess what I’m
going kosher cause jerkey don’t
dig on swine wo oo”

Brooklyn 9-9
`

“if i’m gonna be
a donor i’d rather give
it to the red cross”

mosquitoes / Petticoat Junction
`

“when i go to heaven
will i be anatomically
correct”

Raising Hope
`

“you need to take a
step closer to the world
we are living in ”

About A Boy
`

“I’ve looked into the
eyes of traitors before casey
you’re no traitor”

Person Of Interest
`

“look my contempt is
not with the U S it’s always
been with Russia”

The Blacklist
`

“soon you’ll grow into
your grandfather’s shoes
you can be dangerous too”

Maude
`

“if you’re ever in
Japan look me up we’ll take
a bath together”
`

Bob Newhart

your fix ,haiku tv six best picks

you should never go
on vacation because something
bad will happen

Die Hard(s) (me)
`

“they were out of
sixteen milimeter so i
got you two eights”

Gracie Allen film for son
`

“i can’t be impossible”
“i exist” “you mean
i’m improbable”

Sheldon on Big Bang Theory
`

“‘Fishy Bass Film’ sea
it now on a Scale of one
to ten it’s a ten”

Dr. Katz
`

“no no you’re not
bothering us we’re just making
out bills and crying”

Bob Newhart to his reverend ,may be rerun
`

“you know it’s still
our anniversary i was
hoping you’d say that”

White Collar

`
“tell me that you don’t
spend more money on raymond’s
christmas gifts than mine”

Robert Barone

`
“parents don’t fight much
in front of me and wally”
“read a book it’s bad”

Beaver Cleaver
`

“don’t worry bout me
pretty fly for a white guy
i drive a golf cart”

Larry Bird The Neighbors
___

“white boy steal the blues
just wake up in the morning
in the British Isles

down in Dixieland
since the white boy stole the blues
heard the latest”

Mose Allison “Middle Class White Boy”

haiku tv V like chanel

“why must you fight with
your model if you have to fight
fight with your wife”

Gracie Allen

“i’ve had three kids you know
these were not just for show
these were working breats”

Debra / Everybody Loves Ray
`
“we’re taking the hit
but blaming me i thought we
had each other’s back”

Benson on Law & Order SVU
`
“i’d like a bottle
of your eight dollarest please”
your finest wine sir

Brooklyn 99
`
“oh doctor hartley
doris under sedation
is christmas enough”

Mr. Peterson on Bob Newhart
`

“i like the way you
laugh at that likes it not a
possibility”

The Trip
`
” she’s been going on
about that thing like it’s king
tut’s golden undies”

Frank Barone on Everybody Loves Ray
`
“which one is starsky
well obviously the one
on the driver’s side”

Raising Hope
`

“he used to walk
on his tiptoes so he wouldn’t
wake himself up”

(sleepwalking) Gracie Allen
`

“look how cute you look
in your little pajamas
got a back trap door”

Everybody Loves Ray
`

haiku tv four or 3184 or something

“don’t condemn a
whole group of people for the
actions of a few”

Archie Bunker said this

`
“get Psychology Today
tomorrow, get Tomorrow’s
Health today”

Bob Newhart
`
“Herb she’s married her
legs are no longer under
your jurisdiction”

The Mothers-In-Law
`
“you are a scorpion
and every word out of
your mouth is a lie”

Covert Affairs
`
“now i’ve never heard
of a reverting dog who
didn’t stay that way”

Columbo
`
“believe me no one
wanted to give you a baby
more than i did”

General Hospital
`
“i haven’t said
anything in two days and
nobody even cared”

D J on Roseanne
`
“he can hate brussel
sprouts, he can hate white people
he can’t hate football”

King of Queens
`
“you have two hours
to collect your belongings
and leave the country”

“this isn’t a test
case Rick it’s how we do business
it’s what we do”

The Assets
`
“do you need a math
tutor because the department
will provide one”

“shot in line duty
ouch you ran over my foot
incredible pain”

Brooklyn Nine Nine
`
“i have no idea
what either of you are doing
but let’s shut up”

Uncle Junior (sopranos) as judge on Good Wife
`
“bring five dollars for
gas and change your shoes you may
have to push the car”

Axl to Sue on The Middle
`

animal rights & sexual harassment

“when a horse says nay
that’s exactly what he means”
sexually harass.

Dr. Katz
`
“bob newhart’s fear of
humidity workshop “they
had to sweat it out”
`

” i would take a bullet
for you and bring it wherever
you would like”

Dr Katz to son Ben
`
“my check paid for that
maybe you paid for the bottom
left hand portion”

Larry David / breast implants
`
“well i don’t have to
tell you there was no malted
under the boardwalk”

Edith Bunker
`
“mr. carlin i
don’t know if you noticed but
the ceiling caved in”

Bob Newhart
`

so did mine bob
watching you to forget raining
through roof onto floor
`
“you’re saying there’s a
tyrannosaurus rex lost
in N Y City”

White Collar
`
“if i’ve learned anything
from paula deen at all
it’s keep my mouth shut”

Raising Hope
`

“she’s incredibly
famous for having orgasms
during sermons”

Rev
`

`