last straw plantation PTSD

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it was about 7:30 & the ocean breeze was the best it had ever been .so i left, before anyone pulled out a cigarette and ruined it. there was a lot of noise like people throwing a sofa, sounding like it was coming from the roof. it was nothing like the noise from above the tennis villa , since feb 1st . turn the tv louder to mute . some idiot banging on my outer door that has a chain ,ringing the bell for maybe 20 minutes , until i’m so hysterical i can’t move, because i have ptsd from just that..
i don’t care if the building is burning down: no one has any reason to come to the door,ring a bell, much less that nightmare. and a plane crashed right outside ,i was told ,caught on fire & the whole lodge would go up,he said if it happened closer.

so 3 years ,no one helped me, for 10 months at 2359. every single night , what i think was a man stomping every two hours all night . the only time, i could sleep was when he went to play golf. the floors are a nightmare.
you aren’t allowed to make noise after 11 pm…the security guards wanted me to email & wake up
person who rents condos at 3 am & every time , he was stomping, which was every night & ridiculous, but nothing was ever done for 10 months, just a runaround.

*then in #2346 ,for an entire winter,i had to be woken every day, no rain, from 9 – 5 or 6 p m by sawing wood outside my bedroom window & hammering & made sick from sawdust then carpet glue ,when the building was practically empty.they have to go outside the sick person’s condo. the sawdust could have killed me. allergic since i was little , before toxic mold. no one cared to even stop the noise.

so i move to a top floor & then later , i bought a top floor for that reason. (millions of baby roaches in the walls that came out every time you turn on water,inside the oven, stove, microwave,everything possible). they are all gone now,unbelievably, but i bought a tennis villa & the lady who sold it to me said she never saw a bug & that it was quiet.
no one lived there & the family that owns it just lets family come.
the next day bugs but , since feb. 1, it’s been nonstop noise for 7 months except 2 & 1/2 weeks. every 5-7 minutes : banging, stomping ,running…. when inside,they never sleep 7 hours.

about six weeks ago ,i sent 3 pages to security .no one would put up with this…
you’re only allowed to complain after 11 pm… i said i’m going to the police if it doesn’t stop.. for 3 days it was quiet. and then all hell broke loose again.

so a new security guard was trying to give me a heart attack tonight. i cannot believe the things i’ve had to put up with 3 years & apparently people below complained of people moving furniture – me. the absolute stupidity. where has he been when i needed him for 3 years & it’s 8 pm…& he was rude & yelly & i was just as smart alecky , b/c he’s the last straw.

i asked him did he really think i was throwing furniture .of all people in the world & i think he did, b/c he said smart alecky well where do i think it’s coming from.
i cried for 2 hours,until i had to get out of here, b/c i’m scared to death again.. he said he has to be able to get in (meaning all guards) i asked him to come in twice & look & he said i’m not coming in…& he told me to turn the tv down. it was to cover the noise & him. so i have to listen to the horrible noise even louder, & he didn’t stop the banging.

my chest hurts badly. i don’t know how many asthma attacks i’ve had today. i went to the gate & the idiot was sitting there & the noise was still here at 10 when i left & i asked why is he sitting there ..why me? why scare me to death & not go stop the noise.

no it’s always me. people do whatever they want to me for 15 years & it ends tonight.. & the other nice guard told me don’t be afraid of him. he’s not going to hurt you..but that’s exactly what he just did & says he will do again..they can’t hear me, but he is exactly what i am afraid of a retired sheriff who tells me ,he has to be able to get in whenever he has to . yet he wouldn’t come in. they say he’ll be in trouble doing whatever he wants & being mean.

i could not be angrier at the 8 pm someone complains of noise & someone actually tried to do something , when i’ve tried to complain 100 times for 1000’s of hours of noise after 11 pm & nothing for almost 200 days . that’s even worse than ptsd & the pain in my chest & throat ,trying to yell at him.
and then he stopped looking for the noise. she said oh we’ll walk up & down until we find it..
i did that myself. you can’t hear furniture outside.
inside is a nightmare and it isn’t paradise if you have to fight the cigarettes to breathe every darn time you walk outside.this is the last place in the world to come if you have breathing problems. i can’t believe the health department lets people smoke IN the pool. one guy in the jacuzzi.

people who live here complain of cigarettes all over their yard & then they say i really have a reason.i don’t think i have ever been outside where they don’t get me. i was ready to leave.it’s pointless.
`

the cigarettes do
so much more damage than the
ocean breeze does good

i have been accused
moving furniture the crime
retired sheriff

arms hurt bad nine months
can hardly pull my top off
reach in cabinet

`

12:40 am & bang. nothing compared to the noise above villa.

1:24 a m 2 bangs sounds like balcony door below me , the complainers.

7:30pm bang 8:19 bang 11:47 pm terrible hammering noise

wed 12:30-12: 58 pm dropping furniture banging ; probably housekeeping

how the day ended

i’m actually going to write about something that happened today, instead of what is already typed, which is silly.

gaboon viper
fifth deadliest in the world
death in fifteen minutes

the only time, i will ever mention that animal. i really don’t like commercials.and this was the news & they want to scare you , because he is running around loose, after shedding his skin. i was watching person of interest. it only took a few minutes, for me to realize, there was no sound on cbs myrtle beach , so i had been watching , a station i never watch, because every ten minutes there’s a commercial for an attorney. six attorneys,in charleston, who i knew & they have been playing the same commercials since 1989.
so mr. s is running around & the anectdote , i mean nearest antidote is 2 hours away, so why doesn’t someone drive it to mt. pleasant, honestly.

but this is how the day began.i found 2 more reasons to add to the page before this:

9:30 am beep beep , the fire alarm

walk into the hall & bliip bliip , it’s raining inside again.and let me tell you fred astaire is not singing.

3:26 two realtors ask if they can come over at 3:30 so i can sign documents, contract…if i had a nickel for every contract i’ve signed since 2007, i would be a millionaire.when they saw the rain, & hear me coughing, they said we’ve got to get you out of here.i know, but it was so nice to hear someone else say that.

And the roof next door is brand new, so no one will ever be singing in the rain.

i already know what will wake me tomorrow.i went to make sure no one sprayed anything at the other condo . have not been outside in 5 months & on the third trip back , a late breaking bulletin says tomorrow they will be spraying pesticide , in every single condo, even though i was told to write a 3 page letter for the board & my realtors typed an addendum or possibly mark geragos & i will be leaving here forever ,if … i really could use that Viper.

i should be sleeping. i should be packing. i should be putting their kitchen back together.should be getting ready for passover, or my birthday ,or something that happens every april 15th, or a hundred other things. i don’t move after april 3rd. it’s a rule ,after the many times ,in 14 years, i made up for a good reason.

but mr. asp was not the end . someone is smoking & unbelieveably the wind is blowing smoke onto the balcony, day 6, 1;30 am ..so you breathe molded plaster or smoke,
unless you have good sense & just go in the bedroom ,where salt water oxygen blows through the window .

who said that

who said everything
happens for a reason not
marilyn monroe

`
that which does not kill
us makes us stronger another
stupid saying

__
everytime i hear
these idiotic expressions
infuriates

until a few months ago, i thought “everything happens for a reason” was some religious saying. then i discover marilyn monroe quoted this,from probably someone else in this lifetime. people give her credit.

it was probably charles lederer , screenwriter ,who said this first, not the heavens, a human person.
people have been fooling me, saying this to me , all of my life .
lederer was jewish and irish ,so why do people always use this to try to convert me.

what in the world would marilyn monroe know about philosophy. neither do i, but heaven help the next person , who says this to me. you guessed :out the window they go.
i mean if you break both legs in an accident ,then you are in pain for the rest of your life, you are weaker.
you have a new fear of cars. i have never broken anything, but i have been in so many car wrecks, i think i have the right to say this.

if it doesn’t kill you over & over ,you don’t become stronger, but angrier, fearful,sad…maybe if it happens once.but the expression doesn’t say once. it is used in the plural ,whenever i hear this.

i place them together , because they go together. they are said at the same time, even though Fredrich Nietzsche said the latter.


* i wasn’t going to use this today & then three minutes ago, some psychopathic coach on law and order SVU just said “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”,so now i’m mad and i have to say this. that coach belongs under the prison. i am so tired of all the sociopaths on tv.

i’m going to make a tv show where nothing bad ever happens. everyone is always happy. no one is ill.an entire channel is what i want.

calgon, mr bubble, ivory snow take me away

a small interruption in summer, brought to you by dove & murphy’s law. yesterday, i find it hard to sleep , because latin pop music was coming from the living room. someone has stolen my jazz station.
a normal, average day ,not unlike any other ,since the 8th of december, 1999, hanukkah. normal as in murphy’s law.
fourteen months of peaceful jazz to sleep with…who changed channel 36 to 45 & now it says no signal?
no time for that now.what the devil is wrong with my arm.oh ringworm how nice. bosco, ottie, gracie …they blame dogs?

you have to read this funny.once a dr , an osteopath or something told me i had feline leukemia. i laughed , but it was the only time in my life i had a cat. (he didn’t know anastasia was living under my house, so i put her on the screened in porch & fed her every day.when she became pregnant this cat person told me we should put her in the warm garage .when we found no kittens, we took anastasia to the vet, who laughed because anastasia was a boy the entire time). doctor or whoever you were ,don’t you think i have enough diseases without this feline thingy…
so we have a dog a cat & there was the deer who apparently gave me lyme disease when i was 7 but i don’t find out until it’s too late ,resistant in 2011 & the mosquitoes dr. cheney & NIH blame for CFIDS in st. thomas in 1983.

so,it was supposed to be the last warm day,however the wind is a warm 17 mph without gusts & the weather channel is only 10 degrees off guessing. at 11 a m it begins pouring like a hurricane & last night i find a very wet ceiling , after bossy fixed the roof.you would think the worst thing today would be knowing you can’t go outside for 4 months, but now ceiling can turn to mold .

i already needed a tranquilizer to be aggravated by the new moving company,after spending months with mary & before mary ,they gave me paige…eighteen email with mary about complications.can anyone dust.i left 9 years ago….don’t bring the tv it weighs 400 pounds & takes 4 people to lift.it got wet in the moving truck during a hurricane in 99……but that’s another story…after 2 months, something happened to mary & now stepford wives keep answering my questions as hi new person we will be glad to give you an estimate.. hello mary did that a long time ago.we are way past that……..two months wasted.

then ,what appears in the kitchen ,ants.i want to say i can’t believe this, but yes of course,my life has been a soap opera since i was eighteen , who am i kidding 14 years, 24/7 but really ,since one week ,after 12th grade.
i have an entire story about ants, i want to say october the 20th..i know now how & why the ants appear.

then i write my brother about signing contract .how can that be anything but tension.while b/p is already jumping out of your chest,let’s write a new moving co., storage co…

i wish mc donald’s would say you deserve a break , but no, so i apparently didn’t have enough on what’s left of my brain & tell my realtor ,sure yall come on over tomorrow & we’ll make an offer on a condo.

it’s tomorrow ,so at 9:49 a m & bossy decides to try breaking in & spray pesticide… 2 simple words no chemicals…
the owner & i had an agreement i can only move in if no pesticide… exterminators put key in door every 2 months,9 a m / nightgown & say we will write it down , but bossy said it’s up to him…this is like the 7th time…there would be no ants,except for the m&m fiasco, but i spray tobasco sauce.fourteen months of bossy literally breaking in the other condo.i’m asleep . then he pretended the a c leaked instead of the roof, causing me to leave for days .. then he said he fixed the roof , but obviously not.

technically he is breaking in , but mentally he truly broke in last september & scared me half to death, when i had just really had 5 people break in , in maryland & really had ptsd. murphy wouldn’t let him him break in , if i wasn’t already afraid of this.

then i go to universal orlando where police try to come in at 4 am also & how does a person who is ill from toxic molds have mold appear in every darn state they go to get away from it?
dr . says go to a new building,then 4 years later there’s toxic mold in maryland. florida it wasn’t toxic that i know, but mold…..myrtle beach – both condos.

oh and when i tried to leave my house in charleston, after racoons broke in , 2007, & after i fell down the stairs ,5000.00 /hospital, i was going back to virginia & the hotel i stay at had person after person reviewing that the hotel as having mold.i was going to rent a new apartment ,they built outside my bedroom & the lease said if you find mold & that’s when i threw it out the window.

cab drivers who took me to the dr every other day for 5 years told me about this woman who got sick from toxic mold ,like me ,at the hilton,across the street who got millions & all i got was 14 years of aggravation ,2640.00 a month health insurance & lawyers who said too complicated or they don’t know how & the statute of limitations ran out, when my real estate lawyer said she would have helped me.

so boss thinks it’s up to him. the very best thing that could happen would be choking & an asthma attack & then hospital.worst would be death.i am already about to throw him out the window for the sawdust in my lungs & waking at 8 am , 6 days a week,for 4 weeks.there are 4 people here & 80 condos, but he picks the ill person’s bedroom window & door to saw boards in front of….who else murphy? a very long 24 hours…

bad bad water

i need alcohol

OCD isopropyl

not the kind you drink.

`
every time you leave

literally ceiling falls

pouring water drops.
`
someone sprays lysol

flying straight into condo

breathlessly choking.
`
don’t exaggerate

crazies running on ceiling

who said it would fall.
`
last tide ceiling fell

springing eleven fountains

toxic black nightmares.
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“pennies from heaven”

“dark when you left me

umbrella is upside down

every time it rains”.

aggravating hotel tales

you stand at the front desk ten minutes. there is no sign of life. uncle joe must be sleeping. some guest comes up and bangs the bell .well you should have known, she was just sitting there behind the corner,because that what she does.this man thinks it’s alright to get in front of you and she knew very well you were standing there  rattling faxes, that needed to be sent. she goes right to the man , when you were first .she has done it before. she never apologizes. everyone else stands at the desk and asks guests how they are ….do they need anything… how’s your day. whenever i go down there and no one is there ,it’s always her, so i normally just turn around and go back upstairs, but it was a fax emergency. she did the same exact thing in january. someone walked in and banged the bell…i rang it 15 minutes before and nothing happened…20 minutes and she slowly comes out of the closet and goes to that person, again she knew i was first, because i had just given her a fax 20 minutes earlier and she just left and never came back…well that guest was polite and told her, she has been here a long time. never does she apologize. tomorrow, we are going to have a little talk.

last week , i had 2 faxes and i said i have two faxes.she sent one and asked me if i was waiting for the confirmation.no, i was waiting for the moon to change. everyone else smiles and says your confirmation will be right out.. sometimes if you have 4 pages. the machine will say it sent only 2 pages. they stick together and have to be hand fed.then your attorney is annoyed, she only received two pages. i give her one page faxes and she turns into dr jekly. so, i hand her the next fax and she says ” Another onE”.if the manager heard her he would gasp.

three weeks ago, i ran out of the room ,down there , because my throat started burning.the manager promised to tell the maids no bleach in whatever language they each speak. this is the second time,i had an asthma attack and burning throat all  day and night…she was new and i believed he would do, what he said, and she asked me in english and i pointed and told her twice…she said are you sick.. i said allergies… then my throat started burning and i realized , no, no..please stop….she said ” it’s just a little bit”…bleach everywhere…i run downstairs and guess who is at the front desk.. well you could die before she helps you…..the manager in the other room, could hear me trying to breathe…please make her stop.. he sent someone who spoke her language , but it was too late 10 minutes earlier.

six months ago, the same thing happened and i had many  nice conversations with that maid. they still laugh at me and say she didn’t speak english, but she did speak english with me. i am sure she was speaking english and i know i was, also…