what’s your name in throes of passion

i am so dizzy
you know you want to say this
who the heck are you

you cannot stop me
i am going to say this
wish it had been you

change your name daily
pyramid scheme some such crime
stewie griffin quote

“if it wasn’t right
the first 10 times you said it
why would it be now”

if you aggravate me
you’re going out the window
risk entering

Yesterday

“i said something wrong
now i long for yesterday
easy game to play”

Beatles

executor exercises extraordinary power

trust I and trust II
he’s trusting me with trusts
after sixteen years

first runner up colonel
second an attorney
what happened to them

can’t fulfill duty ?
tuxedo competition ?
i need jim cramer

diversification
and all that jazz
vacation condo stock tips

i am only someone
who majored in business
not an attorney

play one on tv
scott peterson talking head
invisible pay

should have majored in
music but that’s neither here
nor there or funny

a seven year tour
had i majored in music
only four years

ishkabibble cat
expert stock tip consultant
requesting your help

kindergarten ku ( for The Cutter)

once i ran away
from kindergarten lutheran
church of our savior

not because i’m jewish
but because we had a
substitute teacher

running to brick house
crossing the street to Foxes
jewish family

housekeeper thought
noodles and butter would calm me
haven’t had them since

momentarily
someone convinced me that
substitutes were alright

i was only four
miss Rosemary came back next day
fr’ere jacques

taught me piano
Adam poked me with pemcils
blue mole born of lead

one day Adam
unzipped his pants proving he must
use little boy’s room

two thousand seven (2007)
federal prison one year
alien check fraud

i always picture
my mother walking down stairs
Adam’s going up

same hospital ten days apart
day my mother leaves
his arriving

synchronistic lives
elementary pool neighborhood
hebrew class

except my father
Kindest Gentlest Giving
his apparent crook

father giving him
fifty cents to be quiet
carpool millionaire

gambling dry cleaners
ran away to Atlanta
like father like son

Adam’s last email
google advised against it
stealing financials

third grade black belt
always protecting me who will
protect me from you
`
note to self *
(google ? no )

no actual running
involved crossing the street
or to Atlanta

what kept george carlin awake

tell your doctor if
there’s a change in body hair
as opposed to what

can you do the math
five am trying to sleep
commercial appears

if you take this pill, this is what the doctor needs to know? first of all the expression body hair is so annoying.where else would someone have hair if not on their body ? and second, that’s what’s important to tell the dr? i don’t think so, but okay dr, i took this pill & my mexican hairless grew an updo last night.or i was getting ready to open this coconut after i took this pill & he acquired a blue mustache.it scared me so badly, i had to take another pill, a purple pill for heartburn, which then gave me leaky gut syndrom, another horrible name & hey they don’t list that for side effects in the purple commercial,or what it means in layman’s terms,losing ability to absorb vitamins from vegetables, but that’s another story.

perhaps this would happen & then i would be thrilled to tell the dr.hey doc i have had curly hair all my life but i took this pill & awoke with straight hair. in this case she would be thrilled & buy stock in the company. i would too.this would be important.we would market the pill and put the crazy kiosk girl at the mall out of business.

what would george carlin say to this girl.one day you walk by this hair straightening device & they put the business in a place where you have to pass it ten times…the owner will not leave you alone.please, please let me show you how beautiful your hair would be….(oh i know i spent two hours at graham webb international ,with 1 person on each side & then an hour at the chiropractor across the street many, many days. people say my hair is beautiful , even when you fall down the stairs & it’s taped to the ems board at the hospital & i say are you kidding me).okay just be quiet already.have your fun,but i don’t want turbo silk.then he tapped his magic wand & i became cinderella.how can you resist when he tells you the price is $1 & guarantees a new one if it breaks.you think oh sure ,you will still be in business & at tyson’s mall.
a year goes by & he is still there,and you can’t go without straightening your hair, to make him happy.
on the lower level, in the new addition, there is another kiosk in a bad place. bad , because you have to keep walking by devices to CURL your hair.you walk as far away as possible , because the girl keeps trying to grab you. i will not look at you. why do they always think i am their mark.i try to look mean & think mean to myself . you are an idiot if you are too dumb to see i just spent thirty minutes straightening my hair with turbo silk from the guy upstairs and have the nerve to ask me if i would love to have curly hair and not two minutes ago , a woman on the escalator in bloomingdale’s said your hair is beautiful.and if you dare to ask , you will be leaving through the window , also.and she did, but i didn’t.
*only the $1 was changed to protect his true price,which is different for every person.

why is it quiet
i didn’t have to do math
because it’s raining

i didn’t have to
wake at five to count how many
hours til eight

i can take a pill
a tranquilizer to sleep
wake and tell doctor

if my hair is straight
or curly when i wake up
it’s so important

what would we do without
commercials telling us
what is important

bridge over the ocean’s creek

cheerleading camp
band formation schools of fish
choreography
.
practicing flashes
who’s on top who pays under
pyramid schemes
.
leader starts cheer
promising fish free dinner
making a straight line
.
they go left then right
never getting anywhere
form circle of trust
.
no such pyramid
leader will lose his life
larger shark waiting
`
Thrift Shop
Macklemore :

” twenty dollars in
my pocket ” “a cold ass
honkey ” “this is awesome ”

” i call that getting
swindled and pimped
those flannel zebra jammies “

barely conscious stream

`
deviled crabs
tiny pitchforks chasing you
across the sand.

`
rice krispie treats
falling in bikini top
uncomfortable.

`

married on beach
dolphins are your witnesses
miami dolphins.

`
smith party of six
party of five
one died in line.

`
“Pyramid Scheme”

send us picture
imaginary money
we make blogging ?

`

my father said
“good thing you aren’t
allergic to money”.

`

you’re in a pickle
i can’t help you
i hate vinegar.
.
cucumbers are
notorious for heartburn
double negative.
`
“you hold your liquor
better than i do peggy.
long island iced tea”.
.
i hold my liquor
just like the next man
with my hands.

`
watch out for
piranha in jacuzzi
he hasn’t eaten.

`
tropical depression
sadness because summer
left the building.

`

“They Give To Me”
haven’t ever
given anyone anything
contagious.

`
“which ad experience
do you prefer”
none nada zip.

`
where were you
when the lights went out ?
in a haiku.

`
“No More Alimony”
Art Cashin

” ben bernanke flies
over your house drops
million dollars”.

`
“Walking on Beach”

like to turn around
make sure no one following
shouting haiku.

summer is here to stay !

i’m refusing
to say goodbye to summer
you can’t make me.
`
`
stream of consciousness
many have said this
had to look it up
.
how can i be doing
something if i don’t
know what it is.
.
i’m just a person
stumbling upon haiku month
february.

`

trying to fit
as many on page as
humanly possible.
`
`
like this:

if i had my say
which apparently i do
won’t say bye!

`

shark head in surf
appears as though he doesn’t
need bottom half.

`
men always asking
me to get in the pool
get a commission?

`

favorite kind of a man
one who says see you
tree o’ clock .

`

everyone tells
me schedule can’t even
remember own.

`
if someone is
a leader you better take
a hard look.

`
ants hate this
vinegar in tea cup
crawling on rim.

`

why would anyone
want to eat a vinegar
potato chip?

`

you can’t strangle
a man with a large neck
not that i want to

`

tapping his head
why is he doing that
maybe a V8?

`
sneaking out
it’s the fastest way the softest
way and coolest way.

`

if your name
ends in vowel then can
i call you gumba ? (friend)

`

helicopters three
hovering above do not
“beam me up”.

he could buy the beach

since i was twelve
partner of largest law firm in georgia
said this last week:

“i wish i didn’t
have to work every day
and lived at the beach”.

you don’t have to work
you work because you want to
you silly brother.
`
`
`
`
`

(you may want to read
bitter ben’s u.s. news
& world report)….

oh vending machine

last september
what do you want from me
everything i try.

first day dollar bill
potato chip change only
see you tomorrow.

i have six quarters
choosy potato chips now
saying dollar bill.

day three i have both
are you playing games with me?
you don’t want either?

try again august
eight dollar bills liking two
after ten tries.

lady watches me
gave up second attempt
exasperated.
`
“Money”
Pink Floyd

“money , get away
grab that cash with both hands
and make a stash”

every day of life
do A should have done B.
and if you do B,
A’s what you should have done .
and if you do both
it’s still wrong.

“and it goes like this”

a day in haiku:
you can “ring my bell”
playing on the market floor
take me by suprise
`
Chocolate Teddy Bear
hula hoop contest winner
say’s that’s his name.
`
“cupid shuffle”

“down down do your dance
we gone show you how it go
walk it by yourself”
`
(he has a tattoo too)
man in pool baseball
cap beer in left hand playing
frisbee with the right.
multitasking and
singing boys round here drinking
that ice cold beer.
`
(Bride at 69)

grandma and grandpa
married ten years to sweetie
second marriages
`
lightning has struck
another one bites the dust
d j packs it up
`
if m&m’s melt
only in your mouth then why
are my fingers blue?

`
Herbalife Greenberg
a friend of cnbc
Herbalife Ali.
you can call me Al
lost two restaurants in the crash
have a friend too.
`
in thirty years
haven’t learned to put signs
on both sides of planes.