Pregnant OCD Dolphin

my pregnant ocd dolphin
gambles on love
all the wrong places

keep your baby in
don’t gamble state lottery
break a dolphin’s heart

who pays for stupid commercials
south carolina

you can’t even watch
a half hour comedy
all four commercials

heartbreaking also
leaving those out we’re trying
to watch comedy

first someone tells you not to feed the dolphin. if i was a dolphin, i would say how dare you sir. how dare you take food from my mouth & my baby.

then, some lady, with a hairdo from 1950, who still lives there, says you shouldn’t play the lottery it’s addictive.
you’re kidding lady? i think we have known that since 1900.
if they are addicted, they aren’t going to be watching you: they are out gambling. and if they are, they need help from a therapist, a psychiatrist, not you. your suggestion will not help. why don’t you spend your money on homeless , feeding poor and taking care of animals.

stupid sociopath mingling ,meddling match company. how dare you say you speak for g-d. prey on dumb people, with your narcissistic advertising dribble. all other match companies are bad. only use us.g-d wants you to only give us your money, because he only tells us who your match should be. WOW.
you know what g-d stopped talking to people 5000 years ago. if you think g-d is talking to you. you need to go directly to a psychiatrist. my blood boils when i hear your ,what should be criminal brainwashing. why are you allowed on tv!
i feel like 99% of the large companies with shareholders are sociopaths, even if they aren’t human.
the humans that run them, often aren’t human: tobacco, cars that kill you, dog food that’s poison …

as for the last commercial ; how many people could you possibly be referring to, 1 % , when you say: “don’t push your delivery date up” . someone do the math. if you know it’s bad, don’t you think the obgyn knows this. i mean i’m just guessing, but a dr. would have to come up with this information, in order for you to know, so why do we need a middleman? don’t you think her dr. can tell her?
of this 1% , how many people don’t have a dr. did you pay money to tell 1/2 of a person, who might be at home watching tv?
should i go back in time, & tell my mother-in-law no. do not let your dr. induce labor so he can go on vacation. i laughed when she told me.

(there was no other dr. the population of this small s.c. town was 500 when i was 18 & this early labor happened ,before i was born).


Jesus didn’t have a pillow commercial

7000 BCE
pillows invention

man on tv states
why you should join their church
he had no pillow

my first painful thought
then is he mishuginah

(not about pillow
but what he’s talking about
why go to his church)

(not the church next door
or the one across the street
two miles down the road)

how could people sleep
watch someone come ask me why
i said BCE

egyptians had pillows
3500 BCE
years before

ask dot com says so
this would be funny if it
wasn’t haiku month

i have twelve pillows
and i’m still not comfortable
missing my feathered

if he is correct
good reason to join his church
i have no answer

thankful wasn’t there
no car wrecks or toxic mold
still i’d shoot myself

betting no guns yet
no AC,computer,bath
tv plane music…………

what kept george carlin awake

tell your doctor if
there’s a change in body hair
as opposed to what

can you do the math
five am trying to sleep
commercial appears

if you take this pill, this is what the doctor needs to know? first of all the expression body hair is so annoying.where else would someone have hair if not on their body ? and second, that’s what’s important to tell the dr? i don’t think so, but okay dr, i took this pill & my mexican hairless grew an updo last night.or i was getting ready to open this coconut after i took this pill & he acquired a blue scared me so badly, i had to take another pill, a purple pill for heartburn, which then gave me leaky gut syndrom, another horrible name & hey they don’t list that for side effects in the purple commercial,or what it means in layman’s terms,losing ability to absorb vitamins from vegetables, but that’s another story.

perhaps this would happen & then i would be thrilled to tell the dr.hey doc i have had curly hair all my life but i took this pill & awoke with straight hair. in this case she would be thrilled & buy stock in the company. i would too.this would be important.we would market the pill and put the crazy kiosk girl at the mall out of business.

what would george carlin say to this day you walk by this hair straightening device & they put the business in a place where you have to pass it ten times…the owner will not leave you alone.please, please let me show you how beautiful your hair would be….(oh i know i spent two hours at graham webb international ,with 1 person on each side & then an hour at the chiropractor across the street many, many days. people say my hair is beautiful , even when you fall down the stairs & it’s taped to the ems board at the hospital & i say are you kidding me).okay just be quiet already.have your fun,but i don’t want turbo silk.then he tapped his magic wand & i became can you resist when he tells you the price is $1 & guarantees a new one if it think oh sure ,you will still be in business & at tyson’s mall.
a year goes by & he is still there,and you can’t go without straightening your hair, to make him happy.
on the lower level, in the new addition, there is another kiosk in a bad place. bad , because you have to keep walking by devices to CURL your walk as far away as possible , because the girl keeps trying to grab you. i will not look at you. why do they always think i am their mark.i try to look mean & think mean to myself . you are an idiot if you are too dumb to see i just spent thirty minutes straightening my hair with turbo silk from the guy upstairs and have the nerve to ask me if i would love to have curly hair and not two minutes ago , a woman on the escalator in bloomingdale’s said your hair is beautiful.and if you dare to ask , you will be leaving through the window , also.and she did, but i didn’t.
*only the $1 was changed to protect his true price,which is different for every person.

why is it quiet
i didn’t have to do math
because it’s raining

i didn’t have to
wake at five to count how many
hours til eight

i can take a pill
a tranquilizer to sleep
wake and tell doctor

if my hair is straight
or curly when i wake up
it’s so important

what would we do without
commercials telling us
what is important

i wish george carlin was here

and also ,to see these crazy commercials. i really should be quiet. i’m already a man (girl) without a country and they will probably throw me out of s.c. for saying this and only george carlin could make this funny, but there are two new commercials…i am not in any way making fun of the disease only the commercial.they apparently have actors laughing scared me, but they say this is a disease , go to the dr. again who is paying for this…seriously if you are cracking up, uncontrollably would you not have sense enough to go to the dr. i can tell you no one is ill laughing hysterically and looking for advice from a commercial. how dumb do they think we are. george carlin would have liked these ill people in his audience and he would have made a joke about waiting to go to the dr. after his concert.

one commercial about the lottery was too many….how we are sorry, but it’s the law and if you aren’t 18 you cannot play, but now they have one telling us dumb south carolinians that we should play responsibly…lol…like that is going to matter..just another waste of money…there are gambling addicts, people with OCD.they can’t help it.your commercail does no good. it’s pointless.and i think it was the governor. i could be wrong, but i don’t pay attention to commercials.i have no time, for stupidity. what happened to the last governor..i see this guy walking aroung the mall in charleston. his office was by my P.T. i move to va. and all of a sudden i see him on nacy grace as a governor, behaving like a sociopath.big can see a dozen on law and order every day.

commercials: misty croslin needed a few

a time to think about something else, worry about what you need to do, brush your teeth, get a glass of water, see what’s on another channel. there are endless possibilities.what i love about commercials is they allow you to do something else.i like target commercials and the ones on antenna tv and ME tv.never have i seen these anywhere else, but you have people like bob newhart, mary tyler moore ,betty white, the little boys from the riflrman and donna reed at the age they are today saying watch me on ME and then they show the show 30 or 40 years ago. then you have sad commercials with the fonz and i dream of jeannie selling i don’t know insurance or reverse mortgages or something like that.time for a glass of water. why aren’t they in movies ? the last time i saw the fonz , he was on “numbers”.
really do not care for the ants in your pants commercial or the one, in s.c. where some government official is saying sorry if you are not 18, you can’t play the lotto:it’s the law. the government is paying money for this? that’s the most important thing you can think of to tell a teenager?how about don’t set your boyfriend or girlfriend’s apartment on fire, when you get mad at him.someone did that here yesterday. the ants in your pants commercial had been on a million times, before i realized it was about brushing parents don’t know how to teach their children to brush their teeth? by the time a child understands the commercial ,if he doesn’t know ,he wouldn’t have any teeth left.why don’t they have classes in high school about raising chldren, so they don’t grow up to be scott peterson or misty croslin or ahmadinejad?
if someone had taught hank and lisa croslin not to leave their drugs around their children, to watch them, so they would be safe and things like this,the entire family would not be in or have been in jail, and also not stealing and buying drugs.maybe their daughter would not have been caught being the drug kingpin ,(at 18 & you know she was at 17, but they had to wait until she was an adult) and in a car that just happened to be in front of a school.and that isn’t even the worst she has done.perhaps she wouldn’t lie to police for years or i believe murdered haleigh.
why not instead have commercials saying don’t hit children.don’t let your dog go in the street or better yet instead of commercials spend the money on buying food for people who are starving and shelter.
i don’t really know these are being paid for by the government:maybe i’m being roseanne rosannadanna, but that’s what it looked like.if so, never mind.