it happened today

lying on deck
six little birdies chirping
know i’m here right?

four inches away
chirping loudly at crumbs
i ask for a dress.

they disappeared
after saying this isn’t
the flintstones silly.
`
`
Swaying From Palm
Brushing Against Fluffy Cloud
One With Universe.

Seagulls Fly Nines
Lucky Number Seven
On his Way To Vegas
`
`

woman in surf
“has a sand dollar inside”
it’s a jellyfish.

she laughed and said
“it shakes like my belly
belly is jelly”.

when i walk back
she and husband say he just
got up swam away.

the best part
she asked me if it turns
into a sand dollar.

now i’m wondering
actually look up question
you know the answer.

`
“country girl” luke bryan

“shake it for catfish
swimming down deep in the creek
shake it for me”.

jacuzzi raccoon

jacuzzi raccoon

peeking from behind the tree

wants to join us.

out in the sunshine

better not let him get in

may have a fever.

`

“country girl (shake it for me)”
luke bryan

“in the georgia mud

country girl shake it for me

make me fall in love”

“come on over here

shake it for the squirrels

get in my arms”


“you give me fever” eddie cooley & otis blackwell

“never know how much

i’m gonna treat you right

all through the night”

Chew Tobacco Spit

Starting to grow on me
the words not the music
so hilarious.

`
don’t understand what
any of this means so i
wrote 2 country songs:

“baby you make me
want to roll my windows down
and cru uu uise”?

” talking to a red solo cup”? (aren’t you drunk )?

“chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco spit”?

“no shoes no shirt no problem”? (usually a problem)?
`
so i wrote these songs,(they’re at least haiku),like wierd al yankovic:
I

All i need is a man
who hates country music
as much as i do.

Likes blue solo cups
doesn’t spit tobacco or
tangle grandma’s yarn.

Just leaves cruise controls
to the pilots when we
get our shine on.

He’s sweeter than
Dixie Crystal sugar and tanner
than Sue Bee honey.

He’s my sweet potato
casserole with marshmallows
and brown sugar.

No shoes no shirt
no pants full service
no tattoo big problem.

II can slso be sung to dave brubeck’s take 5:

if only you didn’t
have a cross on your back
cause i’m jewish.

it’s my cross to bear
we can’t be buried together
it’s unlawful.

YOU CAN”T be buried
in a jewish cemetary
with a tattoo. chorus

why hasn’t anyone
written a song about this
in my lifetime.

it would have saved you
a lot of terrible pain
and more pain today.

You Can’t be buried
in a jewish cemetery
with a tattoo. chorus

that’s why i don’t
have one and i never will
wouldn’t if i could.

Larry David show
they had to move his mother
cemetery plot.

You Can’t be buried
in a jewish cemetery
with a tattoo…
~
(note in haiku):
( while i find larry david
the most hilarious
jew that i know.

next to mr. mishuginah
don’t enjoy the
self loathing jew bits.

mr. narcissist wants
to bribe someone changing
5000 year laws.

that is like asking
the pope to change good friday
to a thursday).

~

“when you get your shine on”

In Haiku

(men say darndest things
every day i think this man
deserves his own page.):

This Man from Tennessee does:

knows where all the back
doors are and all the front doors
he likes his moon shine.

“you’re awful quiet
up there you ain’t said two words
you like the shade”.

“want a nice cold beer
seriously it would help
your laryngitis”.

“don’t you think i knew
you were jewish the minute
you sat down here”.

Before Something Stupid Was Said
(he was talking about
the holocaust so i
thought i should tell him.
luckily for someone
the only dumb words were
his knowing i was. )
~

every time i think
one man can’t top the next i
find out i am wrong.
~ ~ ~

“boys round here drinking
that ice cold beer talkin bout
girls talking bout trucks”

If the d j plays
that song one more time going
to have to shoot her

d j asked could she
play anything for me
i said i like jazz.

she said i do too
but you really can’t play that
at a beach party.