Pregnant OCD Dolphin

my pregnant ocd dolphin
gambles on love
all the wrong places

keep your baby in
don’t gamble state lottery
break a dolphin’s heart

who pays for stupid commercials
south carolina

you can’t even watch
a half hour comedy
all four commercials

heartbreaking also
leaving those out we’re trying
to watch comedy

first someone tells you not to feed the dolphin. if i was a dolphin, i would say how dare you sir. how dare you take food from my mouth & my baby.

then, some lady, with a hairdo from 1950, who still lives there, says you shouldn’t play the lottery it’s addictive.
you’re kidding lady? i think we have known that since 1900.
if they are addicted, they aren’t going to be watching you: they are out gambling. and if they are, they need help from a therapist, a psychiatrist, not you. your suggestion will not help. why don’t you spend your money on homeless , feeding poor and taking care of animals.

stupid sociopath mingling ,meddling match company. how dare you say you speak for g-d. prey on dumb people, with your narcissistic advertising dribble. all other match companies are bad. only use us.g-d wants you to only give us your money, because he only tells us who your match should be. WOW.
you know what g-d stopped talking to people 5000 years ago. if you think g-d is talking to you. you need to go directly to a psychiatrist. my blood boils when i hear your ,what should be criminal brainwashing. why are you allowed on tv!
i feel like 99% of the large companies with shareholders are sociopaths, even if they aren’t human.
the humans that run them, often aren’t human: tobacco, cars that kill you, dog food that’s poison …

as for the last commercial ; how many people could you possibly be referring to, 1 % , when you say: “don’t push your delivery date up” . someone do the math. if you know it’s bad, don’t you think the obgyn knows this. i mean i’m just guessing, but a dr. would have to come up with this information, in order for you to know, so why do we need a middleman? don’t you think her dr. can tell her?
of this 1% , how many people don’t have a dr. did you pay money to tell 1/2 of a person, who might be at home watching tv?
should i go back in time, & tell my mother-in-law no. do not let your dr. induce labor so he can go on vacation. i laughed when she told me.

(there was no other dr. the population of this small s.c. town was 500 when i was 18 & this early labor happened ,before i was born).


No Jellyfish Dancing Rain

tattoo down your spine
every vertebrae is green
quite an adjustment

if you want pain
just go to the chiropractor
masochistic spine

” remember the entertainment
you got last night ”
taps me on shoulder

remember too well
not haiku entertainment
dancing rain

looks like a lobster
are my sunglasses red tint
well done on both sides

go inside mr.
pool will not stop sun’s rays
not even three bells

elephant flotation device
pretzels in your fingers
flapping arms

boy can’t quit singing
all fall down to his sister
he’s four and she’s five

someone killed ten thousand bees
will life end as we know it
down the road

expects more to die
obviously his HOA
lawsuit against

italian ice
” twenty dollars in my pocket ”
blue tongue finally

missy asked me
if i was writing poetry
she would love a book

not a bad idea
tourists from everywhere
ten copies every week

i jump off the tram
” woah where are you going ”
to live with my ducklings

point at cigarette
always chose flight over switch
she said oh i’ll walk

she would rather walk
than put out cigarette
lightning all around

that’s a good reason
to sue RJR right there
addictive con men

know it’s illegal
smoking on transportation
was better to run

just as bad as her
rather get hit by lightning
poor oxygen- less soul


(sixth poem in three days
about horrors of smoking
ruin your lungs and life

living in paradise
horror of tobacco
fight you til you die)


metoprolol generic supposedly toprol

this is probably not for anyone here, at wordpress to read and not a poem or anything funny : it’s a warning against generic medicines not necessarily being the same.

for the last seven months, i had been taking , unknowingly,the wrong medicine, until three and a half weeks ago.

i was taking toprol, for heart problems caused by toxic molds for seven years.for seven months , i have had terrible pressure in my head, dizzier,even harder to read because my b/p was worse, hives and vibrating like a cello, always worse , the higher the b/p, except vibrating apparently from lyme disease.
for seven years before that tiazac but before this i had low b/p because of fibromyalgia. mold caused it to go in the opposite direction.

it was like i was taking a mold pill.these are things mold causes that toprol helps…i could have died from hives in my throat pharmacist would say…but the pressure in your head is unbearable.

even though the pharmacist said the metoprolol would be out of my system in two weeks, i can still see hives.

i just happened to realize what i was taking ; a long story. the pharmacist thought she was saving money, but i thought i specifically said not to change anything.
i had a friend who would have died , had he not been at the VA hospital volunteering , when someone gave him generic heart medicine.

i was even in worse shape than usual, because i had been breathing wet plaster from the rain in the ceiling all winter, sawdust from building new floors outside my condo bedroom and pesticides on both sides of me on the hives and everything else, when i should have just blamed that on making my bronchitis worse…

i even blamed the pesticide for the hives & paid for two months longer at that condo instead of going to the new one i bought in april, because some idiot sprayed my new condo.


knock knock

for thirty five years
shave and a hair cut two bits
my father and i

shaving on one side
sensodyne on the other
knocking through the wall

singing in haiku
“i saw those harbour lights
knocking at my door”

paying him to sing
his birthday seventeenth
my birthday also

cherished brother three
they paid my father twenty
two dollars to sing

his favorite joke
two dollars to sing and
twenty to be quiet

yehudi was in
our “icebox” turning off light

you would have to guess
who’s on tv during dinner
“He’s on tonight”

tom jones glen campbell
kojak mannix columbo
barnaby jones

standing in doorway
on the way to dinner
dancing macarena

my mother’s cooking
makes you so happy you dance
before and after

even without salt
after his heart attack
i was ten years old

oven fried chicken
never having anything fried
still delicious

salt isn’t necessary
unless you have a
salt deficiency

and you can even
though it’s quite unheard of
these united states

bashful dancing scandal roseanne

do you have nightmares
having to dance by yourself
you missed dancing school

go to make up class
just you and one cute boy
yankee doodle dandy

this really happened
but he was in the wrong class
missing because ill

so embarrassing
“my yankee doodle sweetheart”
mothers saying cute

but now i wake up
the nightmare is waking up
realize you are ill

has happened a lot
over the last fourteen years
everyone staring

silly recurring
wishing you could go to class
trade off bashfulness

but scary nightmares
husband said like steven king
never ever seen

people write nightmares
wise man told me to forget
a brilliant idea

i quit watching scandal
nightmare about roseanne barr
realizing why

olivia cut
tracking chip from mother’s back
roseanne dug mine out

fruitful multiplying haiku

buy brie december
expiration may thirteen
how does cheese know this
he can’t eat butter
i can’t have margarine
his turtle likes chiffon
never spending day
with wine spending four thousand
sandy chihuahua
why is this called
a preview when you can see
the entire post

those fruitcake grocers
don’t sell duke’s mayonnaise although
they do sell fruitcakes
baseball nemesis
taking boyfriend to china
leave gehrig behind
raindrops kept falling
on my head too every time
i went in the hall

keep having to change
tense from past to present
aggravating haiku

her husband’s an ass
father changed him into one
samantha stevens

if you go missing
after one hundred years
do they close your case file

grapes go forth at once
multiplying into wine
turning toes purple

you may have fibromyalgia if

your restaurant reviews look like this:

the seats were MARVELOUS!

the first time i ever waited for a chocolate souffle

the cushioning in the booth was fantastic ,like a cloud

could have sat there all night long

we could have even waited 24 hours for the peking duck
to fly in and join us for after dinner drinks

i give this restaurant 5 out of five stars

like a tempurpedic mattress

the food ? oh who knows doesn’t matter

sitting on a cloud
only time you can think
cushioning all around

other grandmother,garrett morris,b.j. palmer

was totally deaf
hearing aid highest setting
you had to shout

like garrett morris
hearing impaired shouting
saturday night live

even when i shout
and this was the only time
she couldn’t hear me

at twenty one she
hit her head on the cabinet
lost her hearing

now i’m twenty one
husband tells me same story
chiropractic school

woman hits head
how b.j. palmer discovers

entirely different tale
isn’t a woman

my aunt tells me they
both went to chiropractors
i was so amazed

this was when chiropractic
was new to the world
long before our time

stranger doctors said
FLYING in a plane may cause
hearing to return

but she would not fly
should end the anectdote here
i know i would go

doubt that anyone
is more afraid than i am
metal in mid air

not laughing deafness
amused by garrett morris
trying to be him

grandmother’s handbag
carried jelly everywhere
cup of hot water

from seashells to grandmother’s house we go

seashell injures toe
between pinky and french fry
grandmother hearsay

this little piggy
mashed potatoes french fries
sweet potato auch

toasting my bagel
one side with half silver tin
rest on other side

purchasing kraft stock
enjoying ten grandchildren
i was the youngest

fifteen years younger
had i not been ten tins
one for each grandchild

giving me chocolate
no belief in allergies
eyes changing scarlet

fading to count dracula
weakening breaths

old enough to know
seven six years older
mothers are wisest !