man without a country

sweet weather channel
every time it rains inside
every twelve seconds

just like last monday
another piece slips away
you did it again

saturday forecast
will never understand you
could have reached blue sea

dummy sitting here
shopping silicone lining
royal blue cookie sheets

amazon bakeware
hurricane winter pastry
emergency cakes

first task check weather
as a good little girl should
you’re not fooling me

high sixty seven
you say this at eleven
two p m is high

so why at five uhr
on the ten day forecast page
was SEVENTY THREE

at twelve twenty five
I could have gonE TO The BEACH
people shout haiku

four long months inside
aggravated by movers
every single day

moving in the snow
hurricane when i moved in
weather just hates me

in seven short days
buying vacation condo
renting to tourists

i’m glad i didn’t
waste time hiring a
management company

five minutes ago
realized i have to live there
molding glass ceiling

how can it not be
rained in all of december
raccoons keep tearing

it’s raining right now
have not thought about packing
can’t do that again

can you tell me why
d j ‘s play sad music
foggy and rainy out

PLAY BOOGIE FEVER
don’t play LIES OF HANDSOME MEN
need Brubeck’s take five

the sun just came out
heard that song for a year already
that’s enough

what kept george carlin awake

tell your doctor if
there’s a change in body hair
as opposed to what

can you do the math
five am trying to sleep
commercial appears

if you take this pill, this is what the doctor needs to know? first of all the expression body hair is so annoying.where else would someone have hair if not on their body ? and second, that’s what’s important to tell the dr? i don’t think so, but okay dr, i took this pill & my mexican hairless grew an updo last night.or i was getting ready to open this coconut after i took this pill & he acquired a blue mustache.it scared me so badly, i had to take another pill, a purple pill for heartburn, which then gave me leaky gut syndrom, another horrible name & hey they don’t list that for side effects in the purple commercial,or what it means in layman’s terms,losing ability to absorb vitamins from vegetables, but that’s another story.

perhaps this would happen & then i would be thrilled to tell the dr.hey doc i have had curly hair all my life but i took this pill & awoke with straight hair. in this case she would be thrilled & buy stock in the company. i would too.this would be important.we would market the pill and put the crazy kiosk girl at the mall out of business.

what would george carlin say to this girl.one day you walk by this hair straightening device & they put the business in a place where you have to pass it ten times…the owner will not leave you alone.please, please let me show you how beautiful your hair would be….(oh i know i spent two hours at graham webb international ,with 1 person on each side & then an hour at the chiropractor across the street many, many days. people say my hair is beautiful , even when you fall down the stairs & it’s taped to the ems board at the hospital & i say are you kidding me).okay just be quiet already.have your fun,but i don’t want turbo silk.then he tapped his magic wand & i became cinderella.how can you resist when he tells you the price is $1 & guarantees a new one if it breaks.you think oh sure ,you will still be in business & at tyson’s mall.
a year goes by & he is still there,and you can’t go without straightening your hair, to make him happy.
on the lower level, in the new addition, there is another kiosk in a bad place. bad , because you have to keep walking by devices to CURL your hair.you walk as far away as possible , because the girl keeps trying to grab you. i will not look at you. why do they always think i am their mark.i try to look mean & think mean to myself . you are an idiot if you are too dumb to see i just spent thirty minutes straightening my hair with turbo silk from the guy upstairs and have the nerve to ask me if i would love to have curly hair and not two minutes ago , a woman on the escalator in bloomingdale’s said your hair is beautiful.and if you dare to ask , you will be leaving through the window , also.and she did, but i didn’t.
*only the $1 was changed to protect his true price,which is different for every person.

why is it quiet
i didn’t have to do math
because it’s raining

i didn’t have to
wake at five to count how many
hours til eight

i can take a pill
a tranquilizer to sleep
wake and tell doctor

if my hair is straight
or curly when i wake up
it’s so important

what would we do without
commercials telling us
what is important

typical

an email that says the maintenance man patched the roof & thinks i can just pack up half the house & leave again for three days like last week, so he can spray bleach on the ceiling again and go to a stranger’s home & not sleep for another three days , like last week.

last week he told me the tar was gone that kept the AC’s on the roof from leaking ….i didn’t say then why does it happen when it rains, until i find water spots on the ceiling again after it rained, but not mold yet this time..

we don’t have northern mold here. he thinks i’m a yankee & toxic mold is northern…i didn’t laugh or say i’m from s.c.
then he said EVERY condo has mold .where can i go! everywhere i go there is toxic mold. i give up…a 90,000 condo in myrtle beach, a brand new 600,000 condo in potomac , md, a 12 yr old 370,000 condo in arlington va.

i doubt many people have this problem. yesterday someone said to me “you can’t go anywhere can you”.so i asked mr.man to please leave the balcony door open for the chemicals to leave & he wanted to argue about the door open & the ac on… i said i will gladly pay the a c bill all the time…then , he wanted to paint the ceiling & i said then i can’t come back for 3 months…finally my realtor told him.do not paint.
so he is going to want to paint again & he left the door open , like i asked & now there are ants.i’ve never seen ants inside but i’ve been spraying tobasco sauce, salt & water & spraying vinegar too…there aren’t many but it’s still upsetting. i’m watching one play in the black pepper i sprinkled too. he’s enjoying the pepper.

an ironic bitter purple haiku:

doctor gave me heartburn
when he asked me to stop
taking nexium.

somewhere out there
a town with no toxic mold
or aggravation.