I threw you haiku

universe order
synchronistically muses
speaking of seinfeld
~
my internist put
me on the no fly list
in the year two thousand
~
just a quick question
he asks do you have a
lighter or match ?

no, i’m sorry
wait i’m not sorry at all
have a doughnut instead .
`
“did you drop any meat”
i’m a vegetarian
“we’ll i guess not ”

(walmart haiku III )
~
squirrels entertaining
observing fourteen oak trees
chasing each other
~
proper cup of tea
you start saying things like this
british sitcoms
~
la bouche is amused
you must speak french when ordering
french onion soup
~
gracie thinks ” parakeets
read newspapers on the
bottom of their cage ”
`
“sunshine on my shoulder”
means a hole in the roof
and i’m not happy
`
you give me a
charismatic and i’ll give you
a sociopath
~

`

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chanukkahturkekahgibletkah

on the first day of hanukkah
my true duck will send to me
a round trip ticket to fly for free
join him at home in his palm tree
.
on the second day of chanukah
my true love will explain to me
how thanksgiving and chanukkah can be on the same day you see
and two lovely camels to wrap gifts and saute ghee
yes a big help to me
.
on the third day of hannukkah
my true love will cook for me
three somethings that contain no all er gy
no wheat no sugar, no eggs or soy & they’re glu ten free
they also should come in rhymes of three
.
on the fourth day of chanukkah
my true love bakes for me
four black and white cookies in the state of new jer sey
they don’t come from the south , not that i ever did see
wanted one since they were on seinfeld in a ba ker y
.
on the fifth day of hannukah
my true love grates for me
five potato latkes and one to hang on his tr ee
four black and white cookie
three foods allergy free
two camels sauteing ghee
and my duck waiting in his tree
warm paradise of the red sea

on the sixth day of hanukkah
my true love gives to me
six ipods he bought on the second day of hanukkah , yes black fri dy
(we don’t say day in the south but dy or some of us with accents sill y)
two for my camels,one for my duck and three for me
for home, land and sea
or maybe ipads actually
i forgot what he told me
forgot the difference, a little technical mishuggy

on the seventh day of channukah
my true love makes for me
seven spinning dreidels and a sho pping spree ee
wherever the dreidel lands he ki sses me
like an alle go ry
becuase he thinks it’s like a spin the bottle par ty
and that’s al right with me

on the eighth day of channnukkah
my true love brings to me
eight baby ducks and we wash them in i vory
no not dawn because they’re not greasy
then we have high tea
it’s so pepper min ty
we sit by the sea ,listen to sym phony
dolphin on chord of harp sy
tuna plie instead of play because they’re dol phin free
he pulls out the best gift and it’s not po ppy
hamantaschen with prune if you know my tummy
and a hanukkah filled with frui ty pas t ry
my mother loved jane parker fruit cakes from the A&P
and that’s alright too with me makes hanukkah christ mas y


*You can try to sing
To the twelve days of christmas
And you may succeed

mr. mishuginah haiku

`
if seinfeld is on
goes straight to his chair saying
hello when over.

(Sunday Nights)
pizza at seven
he picks the movie because
G-d knows i can’t.

i’m only errin
spelling four movies per week
why listen to me.

what could i know read
every yankee newspaper
don’t ask your girlfriend.

after four years
one night he asked what i
wanted to watch.

mad about you finale
after two minutes
he said you like this?
`
(sunday morning)
read every new york
newspaper run through arlington
cemetery.

when ordering pizza
ask if it comes with bread
bread every meal.

likes to shower
when lightning strikes it only
strikes once for thee.

thursday night jazz
friday night jazz saturday
night you guessed.

saturday watch him
hit golf balls and planes land at
national airport

only interest is
going to library seeing
who is correct.

now he runs by himself
arlington cemetery
i don’t watch.