“i always hear people
brag about how their carpet
matches their drapes ”
Raising Hope
___
“i want to kiss you
but what about your husband
can kiss him later ”
Maude
___
“let’s go talk about
your case the case of how you
got so damn sexy ”
`
“happy birthday you
sly old fox how many spankings
is it this year”
Brooklyn -99
___
” don’t punish yourself
at least you are deep enough
to know you’re shallow ”
`
“what are you going
to do force me to bring back
your dead relatives ”
Frasier
___
“you once picked a fight
with your own reflection after
having only two ”
(beer)
`
“everybody hang
on to Dottie’s seat belt it’s
the only good one ”
the Middle
___
“just last week i helped
a prince from Nigeria
track down his fortune ”
Mike & Molly
___
“i do have a
favorite and it’s you
girl please no seriously”
(favorite child – Dick Butkus)
The Neighbors
___
“the way we see it
a man is only as big
as gun he carries ”
Family Guy “Death Lives”
NRA or some fictitious gun group
___
___
