blue belly button

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her pupik is blue
flashing from the sun up high
what is going on

blue matches the pool
she put her one leg in
then she took it right out

when she turns around
your eyes are not playing tricks
see blue eyes tattoo

above bikini
chaos in your mind and soul
not knowing the time

day began like this
not knowing if the time changed
try eleven keys

cannot open home
red fingers then housekeeping
then maintenance tries

an hour goes by
you have to be a wrestler
holding the storm door

no electricity
after the confusion
normally confused

then man with two dogs
“can i help you sweetie
i’ll put my dogs away”

you can help me by
bringing your two dogs
lower my blood pressure

seriously said
waiting for the smoke to clear
literal smoking

“i never knew what
time it was then i met you”
a week too early

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ella fitzgerald

“i didn’t know what
time it was then i met you
grand to see your face”

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seaside feng shui

“walk it by yourself”
to the left and the right
sugar bear’s too tired

feng shui little boy
rearranging furniture
half size of my chair

what strength you have
tiny three year old moving every
chair except mine

everyone with their hat
feeling like i’m at the
kentucky derby

men charleston chapeau
women wear giant straw hats
pink over forty

my father always
“don’t you need a little hat”
well maybe i do

winter and summer
seven to thirty six years
i’m not starting now

even though last year
someone gave me a gift hat
rather have gift horse

large owner’s closet
someone left me new dog bowls
and a brand new leash

but there was no dog
looked everywhere for puppy
not one to be found

are you buying
someone else’s troubles when you buy
furnished condo

not like an old car
only problem getting rid of theirs
bring in yours

saxophone calling
“we’re in this world together”
come float with music

once i bought a hat
went to orthodox synagogue
rabbi said no

you want to marry?
no i certainly do not
i was just divorced

apparently
only married women wear hats
i’m conservative

of course not with hats
i purposely bought that hat
wear to orthodox

men and women can’t
sit together because men
can’t control themselves?

oh the mishegas
if i couldn’t sit with my
mother and father!

i would shoot myself
thank goodness born when i was
feel tallis tassels

orthodox parents
basically that’s all there was
when they were little

luckily they grew up
across the street from each other
in greenville

holding hands services
in the sixties after
conservative built

twenty years marriage
then they’re allowed to sit
together services

but not very long
only thirty nine years
til death destroys numbers

how the day ended

i’m actually going to write about something that happened today, instead of what is already typed, which is silly.

gaboon viper
fifth deadliest in the world
death in fifteen minutes

the only time, i will ever mention that animal. i really don’t like commercials.and this was the news & they want to scare you , because he is running around loose, after shedding his skin. i was watching person of interest. it only took a few minutes, for me to realize, there was no sound on cbs myrtle beach , so i had been watching , a station i never watch, because every ten minutes there’s a commercial for an attorney. six attorneys,in charleston, who i knew & they have been playing the same commercials since 1989.
so mr. s is running around & the anectdote , i mean nearest antidote is 2 hours away, so why doesn’t someone drive it to mt. pleasant, honestly.

but this is how the day began.i found 2 more reasons to add to the page before this:

9:30 am beep beep , the fire alarm

walk into the hall & bliip bliip , it’s raining inside again.and let me tell you fred astaire is not singing.

3:26 two realtors ask if they can come over at 3:30 so i can sign documents, contract…if i had a nickel for every contract i’ve signed since 2007, i would be a millionaire.when they saw the rain, & hear me coughing, they said we’ve got to get you out of here.i know, but it was so nice to hear someone else say that.

And the roof next door is brand new, so no one will ever be singing in the rain.

i already know what will wake me tomorrow.i went to make sure no one sprayed anything at the other condo . have not been outside in 5 months & on the third trip back , a late breaking bulletin says tomorrow they will be spraying pesticide , in every single condo, even though i was told to write a 3 page letter for the board & my realtors typed an addendum or possibly mark geragos & i will be leaving here forever ,if … i really could use that Viper.

i should be sleeping. i should be packing. i should be putting their kitchen back together.should be getting ready for passover, or my birthday ,or something that happens every april 15th, or a hundred other things. i don’t move after april 3rd. it’s a rule ,after the many times ,in 14 years, i made up for a good reason.

but mr. asp was not the end . someone is smoking & unbelieveably the wind is blowing smoke onto the balcony, day 6, 1;30 am ..so you breathe molded plaster or smoke,
unless you have good sense & just go in the bedroom ,where salt water oxygen blows through the window .

which way doth the wind bloweth

yesterday i was
facing wrong direction i
was facing north

i guessed because sign
said you are now entering
north myrtle beach

then i heard a man
sitting behind talking to
his wife on the phone

he told her which way
wind was blowing very hard
confirmed suspicion

i had seen this man
walking same direction as
i was on the beach

the coincidence
of this man telling his wife
exact same timing

guessing bitter wind
learning north south east & west
synchronicity

yankee sign means north
egret paradise is south
stuck in the middle

`

i will never learn
elevator east or west
moving from d.c.

on the very end
front desk not knowing answer
they asked the question

six hundred miles away
one could need ambulance
maybe you could look

whichever way i’m facing
always wrong direction
boring wind poem

now they are busy
guessing which way snow bloweth
cannot move in snow

haiku appear out of thin air

it’s a joke to me
because i don’t have much
oxygen in my brain.

i have hundreds of haiku ;enough to last until next summer, but not a lot of time.

haiku appear from
nowhere but questions for movers
take too much thought.

i started this in florida to write about criminal companies, but i had to wait until the criminals were finished, so instead i wrote about the crime in orlando. then i was sidetracked by haiku month last february.

last week a woman who retired from the legislature in n.j. moved here full time, to her home of 30 years.she never wants to leave..she also was in florida , 30 minutes from me & cried every day.florida will do that to you.she gave her son money for child care & came here with her husband.. even their 14 year old dog bosco got ill from depression in florida….that’s what his vet said.why not a dog.last week i saw a horse, who was depressed on andy griffith, when his father went on vacation.

florida should be the state that makes you cry,or universal orlando…i cry because there is no pizza hut there to deliver.why do i keep moving to places with no pizza hut delivery…potomac maryland- no pizza hut & now myrtle beach in this zip code either.the last time i had a veggie lover’s was 2004 at my house in charleston.
why am i thinking of pizza, because yesterday some criminal searched the best time to deliver pizza flyers & found me here.

only a criminal would do that, b/c it is illegal.they are asking the best time to commit a crime.the only way to put the pizza mafia out of business is if everyone calls the phone number on the flyer over & over so no one can order pizza & i don’t think that will work…they will just keep going to jail & hiring people who make bail & making pizza in bathtubs or just stealing your credit card number when you call for a nonexistent pizza.

last week i started to write a long story about stupid people asking me the same question over & over for 2 years, & instead of punching them ,saying you can go read my answer here.it isn’t anyone at wordpress, but i decided not to, because if you don’t have enough time to read people you follow, you shouldn’t write.and i am busy thinking up questions for movers..

it takes me six days to think of each question.i only have five now.they aren’t simple. they are very strange questions, because no one has been in this situation before.
how do you move to a city that only has furnished condos & get your things from 2 other states & 2 other condos & you have to use 2 different movers . you have no choice.

one of these companies who you didn’t hire came into your home and took everything you own while you were at the hospital .some day i will write stories about them.

they pretended to pack the entire place that i had spent 2 months packing & i have 11 witnesses & charged me 4700.00 to go 10 minutes away.. the same exact things allied had charged me only 1800.00 to move to maryland from s.c. that i had packed.
just now i found a mover who will go the same distance estimates 793.00. they really have to pack this time though, because i left 9 years ago & i can’t go in the building with toxic mold.

last week someone said you have spent 12,000 storing your things for 2 years…i didn’t say no i spent 24,000 storing 2 homes, because don’t you think i know that.i’m not bitter ben i can do math..why do you think i can’t sleep…700.00 for a condo & 1000.00 to store everything you own.obviously my things are very important & the next person who says something is leaving through the window & then i will be on law & order in jail.so do me a favor & don’t ask any more stupid questions.

why don’t i go into your home & take everything you own away from you,all your pictures of your parents, your dog who was your life, your clothes, your 80 black dresses , all the wedding presents your dead relatives gave you, all the needlepoint & knitting your mother made in her life, the 300 scarves you made, rugs you made, needlepoint picctures, your pillows it hurts your neck to sleep without & you can’t find comfortable ones anywhere, your prescriptions for 3 months , that’s only 6000.00, 16 bottles of supplemants the dr just gave you, you can’t just get at the store……………..the real list is much better, but i am trying to not remember
what they really have, or i will never sleep & the crazy guys who stole the floor outside my bedroom so i am trapped since sunday on the fourth floor again ,with the saw buzzing , cutting wood to make new floors at 8 am every day.
tomorrow if they aren’t finished , i will cut a hole in the balcony screen & climb the tree & play with the 3 raccoons i see, who really shouldn’t be there: then we will go to the beach, b/c it’s 73 tomorrow and all of the conch shells will be for us.

they just love to waste money here building .last week they decided to build a new sidewalk all the way to the highway. nothing was wrong with the old one.for some reason this means you have to lock my lunch, clothes ,haiku & shoes in the beach pool & say they told you to lock the beach, which is nowhere near the sidewalk. but that’s not as bad as the 2 people the security guard locked in the pool.maybe next time he will look.it was alright , i had crackers on my towel at the beach.no it wasn’t when i went back, jonathan livingston seagull & 30 of his closest friends had pecked the crackers open. they even opened the bag of shells & threw them around.

best of all moves or can’t type in bed

lived in the same house , until 1997. cannot even count how many times,since 2004 i have moved. yesterday was the best,of the worst.housekeeping was supposed to come at 10 am , move the refrigerator to find my mother’s pearl ring.no one came: at 11;30 i left. came back at 12;30 .no one on any floor. i moved away but very close.the door would not open. after the key turned fingers red a security guard opened door,said i should get security here to make me key cards.no one wants to or knows who will….so i left the door unlocked with jewelry and everything inside.
one of my suitcases is missing. if it had scarves i spent 1000’s of hours making, that’s not good.
at least i don’t have 50 boxes of my mother’s crystal to worry movers will break this time. being charged 500.00 a month by movers in maryland for that and 4200.00 for their pretend packing, when i had packed everything myself.
the wireless will not work. the vacation rental said she will email as soon as they find the ring.
27 hours later, still no wireless.the extension cords don’t fit , new battery. fire shot out of every outlet and it’s happening here too. wireless fixer , not related to olivia pope, said you hardly ever see that. he said i will come back tonight or anytime and fixed it for a few minutes, but nothing he tried really worked. now i think plastic is burning.apparently computers need to be flat, not fluffed up on pillows.

.can’t type in the bed.can’t see the tv . can’t move it.it’s attached to the dresser.there are no cabinets in the kitchen.you have to be 6 feet tall or have a 47 inch sleeve length to reach the disposal switch. the dishwasher door falls on you. everything is on the right , that i need on the left.

but i love the walls, lcd tv’s,ocean 50 yards away,on the 50 yard line of the pool,the jacuzzi is next door and best of all no one running on the ceiling .yes i would stay here for the pretty swirly walls .no 500.00 condo fees.700.00 a month including electricity ,wireless,24 hr security,5 pools, tennis, putting greens,ducks, goldfish , creek, cable,ocean, beautiful blue delicious looking crabs,conch shells, jellyfish that don’t sting ,baby turtles, 10 baby ducks, carp ….. d.c. area was 2100.00 for 1 bedroom and 300.00 for electricity, cable and wireless and they have no ocean.