polygamist trio of quacks

polygamist ducks
mallard with his two wives
float shallow to six feet

sipping pool water
swimming around outer edge
six inches apart

bathing time deep end
stopping for man chat with beer
hearing not liking

one wife jumps on deck
turning her back alcohol
ruffling feathers

all three shake shake shake
dancing without music
noisy feathers flapping

quarter hour floats
eventually three napping
wrong twisted slumber

contortionist sect
chiropractor’s dream house call
C one through seven

Ipanema man
every time he walks by
all three jump into pool

why must you get wet
just because someone walks by
you three silly geese

.

das segelnboot 4-5 after the drizzle

days like a snowflake
no two exactly alike
walk on rocking beach

five circular girls
solo cups on the sand
hand stands taking turns

wind blows boat across sea
extremely fast sailing
appears targeted

they are coming back
handstand bikinis sitting
in surf with their cups

some guy pacing
appearing to have beautiful
symphony in head

man lying in surf
don’t get too close he has spider
tattoo fingers

resembling this con
on tv one for each
person he murdered

no fear he seems
harmless enough playing with two
sons in the water

you cannot get lost
you will see banana boat’s
white hair and eden

.

lizard royale

white stucco lizard
royal blue tail across wall
favorite color

between sea and pool
“you are the sun you are the”
lizard runs on fence

in time to music
he stops in certain places
running very fast

training as greyhound
flew in on air jamaica
he will catch rabbit

“every move you make”
running stopping and breathing
“i’ll be watching you”

nineteen seventies
why is every song they sing
in a time machine


(lizard was running
in beat to bar reggae band
both entertaining)

earlier that day, tom not tim duncan

wearing red one piece
she’s sipping red daiquiri
white towel on head

just as you are thinking
it’s about 2:30
man shouts to his wife

“what time is it honey”
at that very minute
she said 2:30

he’s wearing a watch
must not be waterproof
memory bad as mine

“you don’t like go carts
that’s on my bucket list lucy
love the grand prix”

i love pontiac
tom duncan pontiac
greer s.c.

“lucy was an
exceptionally clean baby”
“found out it was us”

“they adapt to you
the third one does what we do”
“first is the hardest”

“it’s about a
twenty minute ride to grand prix
i bet she’ll pass out”

“especially if
we put something in her belly
got some CHILI”

best bucket list
i will not kick the bucket
are numbers one and last

“i want to put on
my my my my my boogie shoes
boogie with you”

6/4 before ringo

Ringo Dachshund not Starr pulls pork

tuesday night pulled pork
thurdsday nights gourmet pizza
the kosher left side

two fifty a slice
every friday taco night
fish fry wednesday nights

saturday night grill
footlong hotdogs four dollars
burgers and cookout

animal crackers
they’re loaded with calcium
i like the sugar


here we go again
while you’re thinking are they twins
one has blue with black

other hat black with blue
man says no they’re cousins
answering someone

who apparently asked
what i was thinking
synchronistic thoughts

chattanooga choo choo
wearing clemson t shirt
goes to all the games

grew up in greenville
thirty minutes from clemson
explaining it all

“oh dad i remember
where my cigarettes are
in your pants pocket”

haiku on boardwalk
wasted on bad cigarettes
keep it in your pants

ringo’s father asks
“are you back for the summer”
haven’t ever left

6/4 pm

Pink summer

twenty cheerleaders
hot pink bikini circles
d j plays for me

party on rooftop
forgetting it was friday
changing days around

never have you seen
so many hot pink bikinis
in one blue pool

cheerleaders remind
family guy’s peter griffin
water ballet

in another life
i was a gefilte fish
pike whitefish and carp

how very polite
extremely wrong “you don’t mind
if i smoke do you”

why would i mind
came outside to cough sawdust
plaster and mold away

why would you pick me
entire reason i’m here
is for clean sea air

three mormon women
ottie and annie also
join me for cocktails

mine was water
they were discussing shots
but probably were joking

world war two movies
writing book about the war
ask if i’m mormon

“my bitter friend is”
so i know you couldn’t be
drinking alcohol

if you have your health
nothing more to want than
sky saxophone floating

most beautiful pool
two three dimensional kites
saxophone plays jazz

warm “bathwater” calms
cool wind blows everywhere
you don’t want to get out

people are shouting
at me like they usually do
not in haiku

“your favorite color
is purple isn’t it”
man on white sidewalk

laugh and shake head yes
even though you were thinking
blue after he left

purple wrist key
noodle top sandals was his
logical reasoning

silly raccoon
sleeping in Y hears toes grass
goes down inside tree trunk

is that duck swimming in the pool?

dive at your peril
escape seventy degree
Hawaii five O

toes feeling like ice
Canadians swimming
tropical twenty winds

chilling bad to bone
jumping flash handstand “too cold”
wet heart felt shrieking

had to get close
husband and wife visor
Furman University

cannot believe eyes
even her ninety year old
mother had gone there

one never sees this
dave barry being last guy
purple comedy

blond actress SNL
Brooke Shields was said to have
thought about going

uncamouflaged bright
green lizard red opening
black pool rail cheez it

The Only Thing For
Vegetarian French Fry Restaurant
is open

Uno counting cards
wishing it was pizza
eggplant stacked pizza

sorry Pondering Mind
meant mozzarella parmesan
wrong olive

Bitter Ben doesn’t care
for sun dried tomatoes
likes pepperoni

now for the landing
stop talking to me there’s
a mallard in the pool

swimming sideways lap
“oh he does that every day
around this same time”

hurriedly takes off
over dune straight for the sea
was that my pierre

bird or superman
kissing hand that feeds him
no itinerary

and now pitch dark
12:10 am a cannon blasts
over and over

six very loud bangs
I don’t ever want to know
if that was gun fire

“hellou hellew”

seven am heilou
fourth day four hour cat nap
it’s avon calling

are you kidding me
avon calling myrtle beach
vacation condos

where’s security
no girl scout cookies but this
my tranquil birthday

no one lets me sleep
repeating hellou hellew
it’s avon calling

i open my eyes
to find edward scissorhands
i was not amused

although i did laugh
because it had seemed so real
awake pudding proof

will i ever learn
keep channel on tv land
quiet mayberry

myrtle beach was in egypt land

Jazzy jellyfish
offering peppermint tea
twelve hours three days

driving to the beach
usual sixty seconds
we wave at pierre

all the ducks crossing
throw before passover crumbs
they wanted matzo

little yamulkahs
disturbing their passover
seder with turtle

palm trees covering
shade their long flowing tables
fluffy matzo balls

no one understands
seagull asking four questions
foreign dialect

must be from jersey
“why is this night different
from all other nights”

the sea doesn’t part
no more parting since pharoah
only hurricanes

should sea divide
weather channel will be there to
tell you about this

not the wine talking
pesticide mold smoke plaster
famine no sorrow

how the day ended

i’m actually going to write about something that happened today, instead of what is already typed, which is silly.

gaboon viper
fifth deadliest in the world
death in fifteen minutes

the only time, i will ever mention that animal. i really don’t like commercials.and this was the news & they want to scare you , because he is running around loose, after shedding his skin. i was watching person of interest. it only took a few minutes, for me to realize, there was no sound on cbs myrtle beach , so i had been watching , a station i never watch, because every ten minutes there’s a commercial for an attorney. six attorneys,in charleston, who i knew & they have been playing the same commercials since 1989.
so mr. s is running around & the anectdote , i mean nearest antidote is 2 hours away, so why doesn’t someone drive it to mt. pleasant, honestly.

but this is how the day began.i found 2 more reasons to add to the page before this:

9:30 am beep beep , the fire alarm

walk into the hall & bliip bliip , it’s raining inside again.and let me tell you fred astaire is not singing.

3:26 two realtors ask if they can come over at 3:30 so i can sign documents, contract…if i had a nickel for every contract i’ve signed since 2007, i would be a millionaire.when they saw the rain, & hear me coughing, they said we’ve got to get you out of here.i know, but it was so nice to hear someone else say that.

And the roof next door is brand new, so no one will ever be singing in the rain.

i already know what will wake me tomorrow.i went to make sure no one sprayed anything at the other condo . have not been outside in 5 months & on the third trip back , a late breaking bulletin says tomorrow they will be spraying pesticide , in every single condo, even though i was told to write a 3 page letter for the board & my realtors typed an addendum or possibly mark geragos & i will be leaving here forever ,if … i really could use that Viper.

i should be sleeping. i should be packing. i should be putting their kitchen back together.should be getting ready for passover, or my birthday ,or something that happens every april 15th, or a hundred other things. i don’t move after april 3rd. it’s a rule ,after the many times ,in 14 years, i made up for a good reason.

but mr. asp was not the end . someone is smoking & unbelieveably the wind is blowing smoke onto the balcony, day 6, 1;30 am ..so you breathe molded plaster or smoke,
unless you have good sense & just go in the bedroom ,where salt water oxygen blows through the window .