Pregnant OCD Dolphin

my pregnant ocd dolphin
gambles on love
all the wrong places

keep your baby in
don’t gamble state lottery
break a dolphin’s heart

who pays for stupid commercials
south carolina

you can’t even watch
a half hour comedy
all four commercials

heartbreaking also
leaving those out we’re trying
to watch comedy

first someone tells you not to feed the dolphin. if i was a dolphin, i would say how dare you sir. how dare you take food from my mouth & my baby.

then, some lady, with a hairdo from 1950, who still lives there, says you shouldn’t play the lottery it’s addictive.
you’re kidding lady? i think we have known that since 1900.
if they are addicted, they aren’t going to be watching you: they are out gambling. and if they are, they need help from a therapist, a psychiatrist, not you. your suggestion will not help. why don’t you spend your money on homeless , feeding poor and taking care of animals.

stupid sociopath mingling ,meddling match company. how dare you say you speak for g-d. prey on dumb people, with your narcissistic advertising dribble. all other match companies are bad. only use us.g-d wants you to only give us your money, because he only tells us who your match should be. WOW.
you know what g-d stopped talking to people 5000 years ago. if you think g-d is talking to you. you need to go directly to a psychiatrist. my blood boils when i hear your ,what should be criminal brainwashing. why are you allowed on tv!
i feel like 99% of the large companies with shareholders are sociopaths, even if they aren’t human.
the humans that run them, often aren’t human: tobacco, cars that kill you, dog food that’s poison …

as for the last commercial ; how many people could you possibly be referring to, 1 % , when you say: “don’t push your delivery date up” . someone do the math. if you know it’s bad, don’t you think the obgyn knows this. i mean i’m just guessing, but a dr. would have to come up with this information, in order for you to know, so why do we need a middleman? don’t you think her dr. can tell her?
of this 1% , how many people don’t have a dr. did you pay money to tell 1/2 of a person, who might be at home watching tv?
should i go back in time, & tell my mother-in-law no. do not let your dr. induce labor so he can go on vacation. i laughed when she told me.

(there was no other dr. the population of this small s.c. town was 500 when i was 18 & this early labor happened ,before i was born).


haiku tv four or 3184 or something

“don’t condemn a
whole group of people for the
actions of a few”

Archie Bunker said this

“get Psychology Today
tomorrow, get Tomorrow’s
Health today”

Bob Newhart
“Herb she’s married her
legs are no longer under
your jurisdiction”

The Mothers-In-Law
“you are a scorpion
and every word out of
your mouth is a lie”

Covert Affairs
“now i’ve never heard
of a reverting dog who
didn’t stay that way”

“believe me no one
wanted to give you a baby
more than i did”

General Hospital
“i haven’t said
anything in two days and
nobody even cared”

D J on Roseanne
“he can hate brussel
sprouts, he can hate white people
he can’t hate football”

King of Queens
“you have two hours
to collect your belongings
and leave the country”

“this isn’t a test
case Rick it’s how we do business
it’s what we do”

The Assets
“do you need a math
tutor because the department
will provide one”

“shot in line duty
ouch you ran over my foot
incredible pain”

Brooklyn Nine Nine
“i have no idea
what either of you are doing
but let’s shut up”

Uncle Junior (sopranos) as judge on Good Wife
“bring five dollars for
gas and change your shoes you may
have to push the car”

Axl to Sue on The Middle

bad bad water

i need alcohol

OCD isopropyl

not the kind you drink.

every time you leave

literally ceiling falls

pouring water drops.
someone sprays lysol

flying straight into condo

breathlessly choking.
don’t exaggerate

crazies running on ceiling

who said it would fall.
last tide ceiling fell

springing eleven fountains

toxic black nightmares.

“pennies from heaven”

“dark when you left me

umbrella is upside down

every time it rains”.

another wipe natalie

(like jeff foxworthy’s: you might be a redneck if)

you might have ocd :

1. if you look at someone who wants to serve you french toast on oatmeal thursday,like they are crazy, as sheldon to penny on big bang theory.

2. if you are a dog who never ever ever wants to stop chasing the ball.and when your father stops to speak to someone, barks continually until the ball is thrown.

3. if you learn russian ,only because you have a fear of being kidnapped ,taken to russia, let go and decide to go for a bite to eat.

4.if you have 12 or more windows open right know you do.

5.if you touch food to your chin, before every bite ray barone.

6. if you are confused because you have arranged your entire life, since you were 1 ,to watch general hospital at 3 pm and they changed the time.

7. if you cannot wait 2 minutes and talk on your cell phone in the ladies room ,while powdering your nose, while others are powdering their noses.(they should have some kind of support group for that alone, because i have seen entirely too many).

8. if you write more than 20 haiku a day.

9. you find your shoeprints in the sand leaving the beach backwards, because it says ecco.

10.your neighbor comes to borrow ketchup one day in elementary school and the next day tells everyone through high school ,you have 17 bottles of heinz ketchup in the pantry.

11.if you go into a dark glass enclosed jacuzzi and wonder if anyone placed a pirahna in the water, or maybe you have seen too many law and order episodes.

12.if you have seen too many law and order episodes.

13.if you run to wash your hands after you touch the mail, even though the anthrax scare ended in dc at least 8 years ago.

14. and of course if you washed your hands every time you touched the mail before and after there was anthrax in mail.

15. if the last song you played last night was the song in your head: take me right back to the track jack,choo choo ch buggy by louis jordan, and it kept you awake.

king of queens haiku or ocd

(doug & carey, doug & carey)
king of queens

not to be confused with an all in the family episode of kings of queens of spades, but that’s an entirely different story, hopefully of long ago…

Taunting silly rhyme

repetitive songs flock mind

slumber never comes.