from seashells to grandmother’s house we go

seashell injures toe
between pinky and french fry
grandmother hearsay

this little piggy
mashed potatoes french fries
sweet potato auch

toasting my bagel
one side with half silver tin
rest on other side

purchasing kraft stock
enjoying ten grandchildren
i was the youngest

fifteen years younger
had i not been ten tins
one for each grandchild

giving me chocolate
no belief in allergies
eyes changing scarlet

diminutions
fading to count dracula
weakening breaths

old enough to know
seven six years older
mothers are wisest !

flounder floundering III

your mouth wide open
walk all the way to the beach
no bridge over creek

ten feet are stolen
fall through into the water
man says four days tops

only at low tide
can walk all the way around
amazing maze

halloween low tide
purple crabs scurry to holes
untouched shells

i will stay feed you
you never turn down sunbeam
we will eat all day.
`
mr mullet voice
“make the hotel next door take
you home in their cart”

was almost high tide
second bridge comes into view
gate being lifted

back to the fish tail
dolphin playing shark story
crystal blue water

mr mullet speaks
“i will do anything once
but never again”

two girls found a shark
i’m sure the witches had
visions of necklaces

had to wash off red
he missed dancing with dolphins
teach him not to kill

honeymoon tail
he fell asleep in the gulf stream
fishing for marlin

halfed a dramamine
after groom’s tummy ache
10 foot swells

hurricane coming
no one told me mile below
i caught a tuna

grab the seat in front
every time your head would fall
fear ocean slumber

haiku appear out of thin air

it’s a joke to me
because i don’t have much
oxygen in my brain.

i have hundreds of haiku ;enough to last until next summer, but not a lot of time.

haiku appear from
nowhere but questions for movers
take too much thought.

i started this in florida to write about criminal companies, but i had to wait until the criminals were finished, so instead i wrote about the crime in orlando. then i was sidetracked by haiku month last february.

last week a woman who retired from the legislature in n.j. moved here full time, to her home of 30 years.she never wants to leave..she also was in florida , 30 minutes from me & cried every day.florida will do that to you.she gave her son money for child care & came here with her husband.. even their 14 year old dog bosco got ill from depression in florida….that’s what his vet said.why not a dog.last week i saw a horse, who was depressed on andy griffith, when his father went on vacation.

florida should be the state that makes you cry,or universal orlando…i cry because there is no pizza hut there to deliver.why do i keep moving to places with no pizza hut delivery…potomac maryland- no pizza hut & now myrtle beach in this zip code either.the last time i had a veggie lover’s was 2004 at my house in charleston.
why am i thinking of pizza, because yesterday some criminal searched the best time to deliver pizza flyers & found me here.

only a criminal would do that, b/c it is illegal.they are asking the best time to commit a crime.the only way to put the pizza mafia out of business is if everyone calls the phone number on the flyer over & over so no one can order pizza & i don’t think that will work…they will just keep going to jail & hiring people who make bail & making pizza in bathtubs or just stealing your credit card number when you call for a nonexistent pizza.

last week i started to write a long story about stupid people asking me the same question over & over for 2 years, & instead of punching them ,saying you can go read my answer here.it isn’t anyone at wordpress, but i decided not to, because if you don’t have enough time to read people you follow, you shouldn’t write.and i am busy thinking up questions for movers..

it takes me six days to think of each question.i only have five now.they aren’t simple. they are very strange questions, because no one has been in this situation before.
how do you move to a city that only has furnished condos & get your things from 2 other states & 2 other condos & you have to use 2 different movers . you have no choice.

one of these companies who you didn’t hire came into your home and took everything you own while you were at the hospital .some day i will write stories about them.

they pretended to pack the entire place that i had spent 2 months packing & i have 11 witnesses & charged me 4700.00 to go 10 minutes away.. the same exact things allied had charged me only 1800.00 to move to maryland from s.c. that i had packed.
just now i found a mover who will go the same distance estimates 793.00. they really have to pack this time though, because i left 9 years ago & i can’t go in the building with toxic mold.

last week someone said you have spent 12,000 storing your things for 2 years…i didn’t say no i spent 24,000 storing 2 homes, because don’t you think i know that.i’m not bitter ben i can do math..why do you think i can’t sleep…700.00 for a condo & 1000.00 to store everything you own.obviously my things are very important & the next person who says something is leaving through the window & then i will be on law & order in jail.so do me a favor & don’t ask any more stupid questions.

why don’t i go into your home & take everything you own away from you,all your pictures of your parents, your dog who was your life, your clothes, your 80 black dresses , all the wedding presents your dead relatives gave you, all the needlepoint & knitting your mother made in her life, the 300 scarves you made, rugs you made, needlepoint picctures, your pillows it hurts your neck to sleep without & you can’t find comfortable ones anywhere, your prescriptions for 3 months , that’s only 6000.00, 16 bottles of supplemants the dr just gave you, you can’t just get at the store……………..the real list is much better, but i am trying to not remember
what they really have, or i will never sleep & the crazy guys who stole the floor outside my bedroom so i am trapped since sunday on the fourth floor again ,with the saw buzzing , cutting wood to make new floors at 8 am every day.
tomorrow if they aren’t finished , i will cut a hole in the balcony screen & climb the tree & play with the 3 raccoons i see, who really shouldn’t be there: then we will go to the beach, b/c it’s 73 tomorrow and all of the conch shells will be for us.

they just love to waste money here building .last week they decided to build a new sidewalk all the way to the highway. nothing was wrong with the old one.for some reason this means you have to lock my lunch, clothes ,haiku & shoes in the beach pool & say they told you to lock the beach, which is nowhere near the sidewalk. but that’s not as bad as the 2 people the security guard locked in the pool.maybe next time he will look.it was alright , i had crackers on my towel at the beach.no it wasn’t when i went back, jonathan livingston seagull & 30 of his closest friends had pecked the crackers open. they even opened the bag of shells & threw them around.

a few haiku out of the blue

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“envious”

his nom de plume
was jealous of his other
nom de plume.

`
“housekeeping”

for over a year
could have had clean towels
i’m the dumb one.

`

“september fishermen”

catch your death
angler’s test line
beheading you.

`

“poodle & shepherd”

ottie and annie
living a dog’s life
two cool katz.

`
“all october/ funny fisherman”

red test line
angler tapping my head
as i walk by.

`
“and she said”

“bloody mary
with a crab leg stuck in it”
almost a haiku

`
“conch”

findinany?
it’s like catchinany
but for sea shells.

`

“weather channel sunday”

mostly cloudy
opposite of mostly sunny
never get it right.

`

“sun in your eyes”

walking backwards
mr. am i behind you
or in front of you.

`

“Roxanne”

“you don’t have
to put on the red light”
or your clothes.

`

“big bang theory/ leonard ”

” because if all guys
were like me the human race
couldn’t survive”

`
“braces”

dental hygenist
loves bread and cheetoes
favorite work.

`
“you sound marvelous”

rock star maid
earpiece on her head
sings while she works.

`
walmart

frozen spinach
place in microwave listen
for metal popping .

`
“snoopy doesn’t hang”

“hang on sloopy”
won a yellow t shirt
a little tight.

.
thought it was snoopy
for near ninety year
fear i can’t hear.

HAIKU : poured some sand out on my desk one day and played

“poured some sand out on my desk one day and played” PART DEUX:~~~
Haiku:~~~
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“HEY MISS”~~~
~~~
We’re pouring concrete~~~

In a few minutes~~~

Like some exercise.~~~

Concrete made from sand~~~

Not knowing what they wanted~~~

Felt safe in saying no.~~~
~~~
“SANDALS” Haiku~~~
~~~
Sandals a resort~~~

Also footwear flip flopping ~~~

Through the sands of time.~~~
~~~

“Where for art thou conch” Haiku

Islemaroda~~~

Home of conch fritters conch stew~~~

Rubbery broiled conch.~~~
~~~
Also home to bone fishing~~~

President bush catches~~~

Them i did not.~~~
~~~
Islemaroda~~~

A consolation prize~~~

Having more sand than the Keyes..~~~
~~~

Two days driving from~~~

S.C. and there was only ~~~

two inches of sand.~~~

HAIKU : poured some sand out on my desk one day and played

HAIKU:
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1/22/2013
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“Fun in the sand”
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PLAYING IN THE SAND/
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IT ISN’T JUST FOR CHILDREN/
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EVERYONE HAS FUN/.
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LITTLE SUCTION CUPS/
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SNAILS ENJOY PLAYING SLINKY/
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SLIDING ACROSS HANDS/.
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HELICOPTER DOGS/
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TWIRLING AROUND MASTER’S HEAD/
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PROPELLER LEASHES/.
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MEN AND WOMEN ALL AGES/
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SEARCHING FOR SEASHELLS/
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LIKE A FULL TIME JOB./
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MULTIPLE COLORED/
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CONCH SHELLS IN THE CREEK/
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.PURPLE LIKE EATING CARROTS./
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FLIP FLOPS EVERYWHERE/
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HAVE SO MUCH FUN FORGETTING/
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TO WHOM THEY BELONG./
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