it’s raining men haiku television ten

“is it too much
to hope that you and i might
cross paths again someday”

The Closer
`
“with another mouth
to feed he’s got to keep his
ear to opossum hole”

Charlene / Andy Griffith
`

“he had a loan company
but he missed a payment
they took it back”

George & Gracie
`

“why in G-d’s name
would i need to dream about
another woman”

Modern Family
`

“sometimes i sit at
mr. j’s desk with no pants on
little victory”

The Middle

`

“when i got married
i didn’t get a family
got a freak show”

Debra Barone
`

“he dances with bears
and if he dances backwards
he knows he’s a male”

Gracie Allen
`

“how can i trust you
when you don’t trust anyone
you’ve got to trust me”

Person Of Interest
`
“all the books they’ve got
in the library and that’s
the one you picked”

Brick’s father / Love Story / The Middle

“walter there’e a thin
line between love and hate and
you’re erasing it”

Maude
`

“i want peter florrick
all you have to do
testify against him”

The Good Wife

“do you want me to
show you how to do this
so you don’t hurt yourself”

dance / Jake on Brooklyn 9-9

dine with haiku television nine

Gracie said she can’t
“have oysters at lunch because
there’s no R in it”

George & Gracie
`
(my brother’s best friend
Elliott Gould’s attorney
until his murder)

“now do you just want
to do it like this with no
feeling on my part”

Bob & Carol Ted & Alice
Dyan Cannon to Elliot Gould
`

“if anyone should
spend a night in teen ranger jail
it should be me”

Bob’s Burgers
`

“i will be writing
an order of protection
after this meeting”

The Good Wife
`
“this is going to
happen and there’s nothing you
can do about it”

General Hospital
`

“and the fact that you’re
unhappy proves that you are
not selfish at all”

The Middle
`

“i know we used to
dance together all the time”
“way to kill moment”

About A Boy
`

“come here kiss me Tim
or whatever your name is”
“there will be nightmares”

The Blacklist
`

for every state haiku tv 8 & country

“that’s my mother
mona lisa is the girl
nat king cole sings about”

Gracie Allen/ painting of Mona Lisa
`
“if if’s and buts were
candy and nuts we’d all have
a merry christmas”

Sheldon
`
“i have a rather
remarkable collection
of wine and handcuffs”

Mom
`

“and of those three months
how long have you been a
demented sex pervert”

Sheldon to Mom

`
“Brick that was cute
at the block party but we’d all
had a lot of beer”

The Middle
`

“those two i wish they’d
just get a room already”
pretend didn’t say

Benson / SVU
`

” i only repeat
myself once in twelve hours
you caught me on it”

The Millers
`

“if he’s not retired
why does he buy his pants
at the pharmacy”

Robert Barone

haiku television seven not michael bevan

“sorry i’m just about
to enter sprinkle city
got a problem”

Cap’n Holt / Brooklyn-99
`
“beautiful woman
with a lot to offer
shall we make an offer”

Modern Family
`

“the only coupon
i want is unlimited
leave me alone time”

The Middle
`

“but safety concerns
went out the window two
apple juices ago”

Sheldon afraid of potty on plane
`
“how long does it take
for a birthday cake to fly
to san francisco”

“if your father wants lunch
tell him i left a dollar
in his wallet”

Gracie Allen
`

“i don’t want a nap
i don’t need a nap and
i’m not taking a nap”

The Millers
`
“you would know that what
i’m going to do is
exactly the answer”

Blue Bloods
`

“you’re calling me a
heartless dictator or MOM”
“exactly the same”

Everybody Loves Ray
`

“yeah debra and i
have always dreamed of having
a marriage like you”

Ray to Marie
`
“i’m going to be
mrs. luke spencer again”
“made me work for that”

General Hospital
`

“temporary tattoos
can save a child’s life
tonight at eleven”

news in haiku
`

your fix ,haiku tv six best picks

you should never go
on vacation because something
bad will happen

Die Hard(s) (me)
`

“they were out of
sixteen milimeter so i
got you two eights”

Gracie Allen film for son
`

“i can’t be impossible”
“i exist” “you mean
i’m improbable”

Sheldon on Big Bang Theory
`

“‘Fishy Bass Film’ sea
it now on a Scale of one
to ten it’s a ten”

Dr. Katz
`

“no no you’re not
bothering us we’re just making
out bills and crying”

Bob Newhart to his reverend ,may be rerun
`

“you know it’s still
our anniversary i was
hoping you’d say that”

White Collar

`
“tell me that you don’t
spend more money on raymond’s
christmas gifts than mine”

Robert Barone

`
“parents don’t fight much
in front of me and wally”
“read a book it’s bad”

Beaver Cleaver
`

“don’t worry bout me
pretty fly for a white guy
i drive a golf cart”

Larry Bird The Neighbors
___

“white boy steal the blues
just wake up in the morning
in the British Isles

down in Dixieland
since the white boy stole the blues
heard the latest”

Mose Allison “Middle Class White Boy”

no birthday cake bang theory haiku

indignation
when sheldon and leonard’s mother
call him narcissist

two biggest narcissists
she never hugged her son
gave him any praise

no birthday party
she tells him to buy her book
when he needs advice

i don’t have to tell
you about sheldon where would
anyone begin

congratulate her
on her child she says
“why it’s not my achievement”

she isn’t much nicer
bunch of sociopaths
on the good wife

every last member
monotone cold unfeeling
sell their own mother

but a fine actress
cybil birdcage and good wife
bake leonard a cake !

haiku tv where you want to be

“i always hear people
brag about how their carpet
matches their drapes ”

Raising Hope
___

“i want to kiss you
but what about your husband
can kiss him later ”

Maude
___

“let’s go talk about
your case the case of how you
got so damn sexy ”

`
“happy birthday you
sly old fox how many spankings
is it this year”

Brooklyn -99
___

” don’t punish yourself
at least you are deep enough
to know you’re shallow ”

`
“what are you going
to do force me to bring back
your dead relatives ”

Frasier
___

“you once picked a fight
with your own reflection after
having only two ”
(beer)
`
“everybody hang
on to Dottie’s seat belt it’s
the only good one ”

the Middle
___

“just last week i helped
a prince from Nigeria
track down his fortune ”

Mike & Molly

___

“i do have a
favorite and it’s you
girl please no seriously”

(favorite child – Dick Butkus)

The Neighbors

___

“the way we see it
a man is only as big
as gun he carries ”

Family Guy “Death Lives”
NRA or some fictitious gun group
___

___

I threw you haiku

universe order
synchronistically muses
speaking of seinfeld
~
my internist put
me on the no fly list
in the year two thousand
~
just a quick question
he asks do you have a
lighter or match ?

no, i’m sorry
wait i’m not sorry at all
have a doughnut instead .
`
“did you drop any meat”
i’m a vegetarian
“we’ll i guess not ”

(walmart haiku III )
~
squirrels entertaining
observing fourteen oak trees
chasing each other
~
proper cup of tea
you start saying things like this
british sitcoms
~
la bouche is amused
you must speak french when ordering
french onion soup
~
gracie thinks ” parakeets
read newspapers on the
bottom of their cage ”
`
“sunshine on my shoulder”
means a hole in the roof
and i’m not happy
`
you give me a
charismatic and i’ll give you
a sociopath
~

`

haiku tv

why is henry VIII
a tudor for goodness sake
playing a vampire?
`
“don’t wake the sick
unless you forgot to take out
the thermometer”

Everybody Loves Ray
`
“i mean even alice
in wonderland has got
to wake up sometime”

Gidget
`
“think you can handle
another round , you better
eat your spinach”

Tom Selleck /Blue Bloods
`
“the lonliest monk
do you happen to mean
thelonious monk?

Hello Ladies/ name three jazz musicians
`
‘can’t tell me you don’t
do it to elizabeth
the pointy finger”

White Collar
`
” if you have any
desire to be back with him
don’t wait too long”
“longer you stay dark
harder it is to come back”
being live person

Covert Affairs
`
“do we have to get
those pills where they sit in
bathtubs in the field”

Raising Hope
`
“carry a saw in
your pocket, is that what you
said when you met mom”

Bob’s Burgers
`
“the roses are for
my girlfriend the chrysanthemums
are for my wife”

Who said this?
`
“for g-d’s sake a haiku is only 17 syllables & it doesn’t
even have to make sense”
The Millers

not a haiku they
couldn’t even think of one
if it’s so simple?
moi
`