your fix ,haiku tv six best picks

you should never go
on vacation because something
bad will happen

Die Hard(s) (me)
`

“they were out of
sixteen milimeter so i
got you two eights”

Gracie Allen film for son
`

“i can’t be impossible”
“i exist” “you mean
i’m improbable”

Sheldon on Big Bang Theory
`

“‘Fishy Bass Film’ sea
it now on a Scale of one
to ten it’s a ten”

Dr. Katz
`

“no no you’re not
bothering us we’re just making
out bills and crying”

Bob Newhart to his reverend ,may be rerun
`

“you know it’s still
our anniversary i was
hoping you’d say that”

White Collar

`
“tell me that you don’t
spend more money on raymond’s
christmas gifts than mine”

Robert Barone

`
“parents don’t fight much
in front of me and wally”
“read a book it’s bad”

Beaver Cleaver
`

“don’t worry bout me
pretty fly for a white guy
i drive a golf cart”

Larry Bird The Neighbors
___

“white boy steal the blues
just wake up in the morning
in the British Isles

down in Dixieland
since the white boy stole the blues
heard the latest”

Mose Allison “Middle Class White Boy”

animal rights & sexual harassment

“when a horse says nay
that’s exactly what he means”
sexually harass.

Dr. Katz
`
“bob newhart’s fear of
humidity workshop “they
had to sweat it out”
`

” i would take a bullet
for you and bring it wherever
you would like”

Dr Katz to son Ben
`
“my check paid for that
maybe you paid for the bottom
left hand portion”

Larry David / breast implants
`
“well i don’t have to
tell you there was no malted
under the boardwalk”

Edith Bunker
`
“mr. carlin i
don’t know if you noticed but
the ceiling caved in”

Bob Newhart
`

so did mine bob
watching you to forget raining
through roof onto floor
`
“you’re saying there’s a
tyrannosaurus rex lost
in N Y City”

White Collar
`
“if i’ve learned anything
from paula deen at all
it’s keep my mouth shut”

Raising Hope
`

“she’s incredibly
famous for having orgasms
during sermons”

Rev
`

`

haiku tv

why is henry VIII
a tudor for goodness sake
playing a vampire?
`
“don’t wake the sick
unless you forgot to take out
the thermometer”

Everybody Loves Ray
`
“i mean even alice
in wonderland has got
to wake up sometime”

Gidget
`
“think you can handle
another round , you better
eat your spinach”

Tom Selleck /Blue Bloods
`
“the lonliest monk
do you happen to mean
thelonious monk?

Hello Ladies/ name three jazz musicians
`
‘can’t tell me you don’t
do it to elizabeth
the pointy finger”

White Collar
`
” if you have any
desire to be back with him
don’t wait too long”
“longer you stay dark
harder it is to come back”
being live person

Covert Affairs
`
“do we have to get
those pills where they sit in
bathtubs in the field”

Raising Hope
`
“carry a saw in
your pocket, is that what you
said when you met mom”

Bob’s Burgers
`
“the roses are for
my girlfriend the chrysanthemums
are for my wife”

Who said this?
`
“for g-d’s sake a haiku is only 17 syllables & it doesn’t
even have to make sense”
The Millers

not a haiku they
couldn’t even think of one
if it’s so simple?
moi
`

duck duck duck seagull

pierre stands behind
to the right favorite spot
two inches behind

how do you know him
because all ducks look alike
he will push your knee

game that children play
taking bread from my fingers
every other duck

saltwater swimming
paddling their feet while eating
suddenly seagulls

crash landing flapping
scare everyone taking bread
away darling ducks

motionless afraid
ducks pretend they are statues
looking for hitchcock

i am so afraid
of him even though i’ve never
seen his movies

i imagine this
ducks are imagining too
unfriendly seagulls

no they aren’t imagining
ducks experiencing
seagulls pecking


john writes friends at work
december i’m at the beach
seventy seven

of course jealousy
then everyone grows colder
i explain the wind

13 m.p.h.
ten day forecast is shocking
checks out on their phones

have i turned into
weather channel ask bitter ben
he will tell you

why do we yell fore
golf course hit on the noggin
look ahead beware

Mes a Mon

“white collar”

(shoot the moon)
`
“we’re friends who have fun

french have words for everything”

finding passport now.

`
(dialogue 28 seconds into the show)

`
jazz haiku:

diana krall
“popsicle toes”

“always load pentax

expose those popsicle toes

when i’m in the nude”.