the stupids: a coastal not coast clear haiku

thirty minute wait
white golf cart disappearing
but where does it go

after the third time
realized silly’s stopping short
real estate office

chef’s carriage stops twice
he’s already mad at her
talking on the phone

now all chairs are full
take five, freeing a table
an interruption

“so how’s your new place
like it better than the lodge
that’s what i’m saying”

interrupt me please
anytime for a haiku
favorite neighbors

all of these people
i’m always the lucky one
man with cigarette

wind my only luck
really didn’t have to run
asthma from jumping

then a dumb lady
asks if she can sit with me
NO she just sits down

grabs a cigarette
and asks can you smoke up here
i shake my head no

with lighter in hand
telling me she probably
shouldn’t smoke either

she heard me coughing
eyes glued to her mean lighter
running far away

was trying to write
about lifeguard blast and shark
she would not allow

insane chattering
her sister and granddaughter
take over table

steals her grandchild’s fries
yells at her for no reason
threatens to hit her

“i will throw this
water bottle at you right now
if you don’t do this ”

she only got worse
thinking that the coast was clear
eating a hot dog

Looney still had cigarette
hand under table

(next new prison book:
‘She Pulled Out A Cigarette
And I Shot Her Dead)’

think before you smoke
make sure no one is around
bullet with your name

beach, birds, words

like frank sinatra
days and nights went flying by
summer winds and kites

daddies and daughters
dancing cheek to cheek in pool
summertime rap songs

do you feel love
big sunglasses tiny girls
hats with their own shadow

lifts her with one arm
“wiggle wiggle wiggle”
right arm lots of muscles

Pirate Voyage Plane
we have our own pirate
parrot on saturday

sign flying above
miss coppertone bikini
trailing aircraft sky

“hey diddle diddle”
my cat took my fiddle
and my dog has no fleas

someone has hot cross buns
the bitter ben household
won’t last very long

“don’t bring me down bruce”
like you did entire winter
lungs of sawdust

happening at once
blackbirds flying fast to beat
hula on their knees

daddy twisting girl
over his head with both arms
“you spin me right round”

honestly tell me
“have you heard bird is the word”
these birds do not know


1 800 j – u – s – t – a – s – k


sitting on lounge chair
she gets out of the pool
and sits down on his lap

she takes his arms
and wraps them around her
she’s sixty , he’s seventy

he pushes her down
so he can read the paper
lower in the chair

everyone is here
can i burgle N.J.
steal all their accents

twins one, blue swimsuts
pretending circle bulls eye floats
white mushroom hats

three little girls
asking if they can color with me
sit at table

wanting to say no
to the ten year old who asked
instead said of course

southerners do that
“have you ever been bullied”
yes by you daily

splashed my sunglasses
turned the cold water on me
screaming in my ear

now screaming again
a little trouble maker
her parents also

daddy yelled at her
told her it wasn’t funny
whatever she did

hiding in deep end
where she took it out on me
with the cold water

really she was asking
another little girl
about bullying

“the first eight callers
you get this for free”
then he lifts up his baby

out of the water
everyone hearing his plea
must have octuplets