haiku television eighteen super bowl sunday

“i don’t want to
seem dramatic but today
has been suboptimal”

andre braugher brooklyn 9-9

you went from Homicide
bottom of the ocean
in a submarine

but you’re back baby
funnier than everyone
you’re stealing the show


“then he told me
he was worth more dead than alive
to his family”

can someone tell us
how they always have time
to sit down to dinner

Blue Bloods

“i don’t think this warrant
is legit because it’s signed
by judge judy”

“i’m not looking
for a decent human being
but a good doctor”

The Closer

At 10:00 EST

show of hands
how many turned on the superbowl
to watch the blacklist

” even the blacklist
couldn’t have as many twists and turns

Some Guy On NBC


“do me a favor
if you don’t need to be in here
don’t be in here”

Law and Order

“Hogette is gonna
marry the taxidermist
who sewed up her head”

Ernest T Bass / Andy Griffith


haiku tv fifteen the new season


“that boy wants a bar
mitzvoh i’m going to throw
him a bar mitzvoh”

“now you’re my boyfriend
you have to buy me ice cream
tell me i’m pretty”

The Middle
“i know that we’re
supposed to keep our underwear on
but i didn’t”

The Mysteries of Laura

her dad said “apple pie
without cheese is like a
kiss without a squeeze”

Food TV

“i’ve got to say
out of the four of you
Vito is the best kisser”

Brooklyn 9-9

“you do not get to be
rosa parks without
rosa parks bus driver”

John Oliver HBO

“sometimes i find it
easier to despise someone
than to love them”

Boardwalk Empire

“what is it next crouch cam
we think he meant crotch cam
this is cnn”

Bra Cam CNN

“please return your guest
pajamas, your guest toothbrush
and guest” something else

Brooklyn 9-9

“i never eat anchovies
unless i don’t know
i am eating them”

” either you lead me
to Berlin or i will lead
Berlin unto you ”

The Blacklist