7th day of hanukkah haiku

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tahiti sounds nice
you can always be singing
south pacific songs

next to donald trump
what more could anyone ask
haiku write themselves

larry david qvetch
humorous narcissism
neighbor of all time

small castle for two
recipe for quintuplets
palatial restaurant

no leftover fries
backyard filled with potatoes
where cows make the brie

garden tomatoes
heirloom of the king’s great grand
body of baker

toast to perfection
machine that makes your own bread
she’s still in the box

cool scotland winters
too cold for ponies to prance
Findhorn vacation

bed and breakfast inn
are we in london my love
dark day at the beach

only on outside
seventy four degree warmth
december thirteenth

bikini weather
only because you are here
miracle of heat

watermeloness
agador spartacus lines
spring in december

a natural heat
seventh day of hanukkah
find circle of luck

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scott peterson hanukkah dreidel song III

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he needs a food processor
so he can make chopped liver
but what he does not know yet
he’s going up the river

oh anchor anchor anchor
i made it out of cement
and if you had not caught me
i’d be in mexico in a tent

larry should retire (king)
give nancy grace his show ( i didn’t mean it)
she has many more expressions
than his do you know know

oh anchor …

every person here knows
you can’t put perfume on a pig
and when you go out fishing
you get saltwater on your rig

oh anchor …

after the new maid left
the mops they multiplied
never use your own computer
when looking up the tide

oh anchor …

he loves to do the yoga
make toothpaste art you see
he will never see a penny
the court will so decree

oh anchor …

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scott peterson “dreidel dreidel dreidel” II

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i had a little anchor
i made it out of cement
and when it dried and readied
fishing’s where i went

oh anchor anchor anchor
i made it out of cement
and if you had not caught me
i’d be in mexico in a tent

the mitchell’s they watch football
whether rain or it does shine
but all they saw on that day
were footballs in their mind

oh anchor anchor anchor …

he spoke to diane sawyer
and did pretend to cry
but when he bleached his eyebrows
he got dye inside his eye

oh anchor …

15,000 on his dashboard
his brother’s ID too
his hair he colored orange
he was not going to play through (golf)

oh anchor …

scott will get his cookie
on thursday it is time
i must call my bookie
to bet he does more time

oh anchor …

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i can’t believe i found many more verses, you are welcome bitter ben, for the dreidel song in your head all day.

bubble wrap him for hanukkah


one year i gave him
twenty seven presents
mr. mishuginah

think it may have been
twenty seven pairs of socks
plus seven presents

one for every night
all of his socks had big holes
he liked it that way?

every week i shopped
tj maxx and other stores
most beautiful socks

ocd shopping
ocd with his big holes
every mall d.c.

cannot remember
any of the other gifts
except for these two

one wasn’t a gift
this is the best gift ever
popping bubble wrap

every day for a month
he popped his bubble wrap
and said he loved it

and when it ran out
probably put me on a plane
in the lightning

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