seventeen, haiku tv, the funniest

.
“his christening
before they broke the champagne bottle
over his head”
Gracie’s Uncle Harvey

“i heard your mamma
rang a guy’s bells all the way
to heaven tonight”
Mike and Molly

“at your age
you shouldn’t look at furniture
unless it has a lid”
Frank Barone to Marie

“don’t use the woman
who’s sleeping with my girlfriend
to try to flip me”
The Good Wife

“really don’t like
how your wings poke me when we sleep
cause you’re an angel”
Big Bang Theory

“sixty percent
believe the noah’s ark story
is completely true”
Bill Maher /HBO

“stan’s cousin
the diabetic is visiting
from arizona”
Marie Barone

“the cow gives all the milk
but the bull gets the blue ribbon
a man’s world”
Gracie Allen

.

fourteen food and fun haiku tv

“this is uber sauce
they’re not trying to be subtle
going for gold”

The Best Thing I Ever Ate
`

“drove all alcoholics
out of manhattan and into
new jersey”

Seth Meyers
`

“man you dress like that
in front of the fridge i’ve died
and gone to heaven”

Dan Conner / Roseanne
`

“in italy the
two of you couldn’t get
enough of each other”

Frank Barone / Everybody Loves Ray
`

“you know they say that
politics makes strange bedfellows
let’s check it out”

Maude
`

” you’re trying to tell me
you had a good time
with that old lady”

Reese Witherspoon / unknown movie
`

“of course you can sleep
with any woman you want to”
not your sister

General Hospital
`

“i’m going in the
other room i should be there
about 3:01”

Jackie on Roseanne
`

“i guess she’s just one
of those girls who’s got a hitch
in her get-a-long”

Andy Griffith
`

“you just wanted to
get me in bed one more time
before you dumped me”

Becky to Mark on Roseanne

which wasn’t true
because they married
lived happily ever after

`

bob’s burgers:larry david specials V

larry david daily special burger :
your aunt died, but i want to go play golf this Morningstarsausage farm burger,
i have khaki tent pants ,so why not Tentedburger with aluminum foil to seal in the juices ,
don’t drink out of my glass celophane noodle shrimp and whynot porktooburger,

bob’s specials today:
“analyze this” billy crystallized ginger burger (it looks marvelous),
the jimmy falLondon broil burger ( never ever ever served with mayonnaise
he really loves this burger)
bewitched and “Beware” samantha and sammy davis jr “too close for comfort” food double burger,
“the cougar-cogat burger” another delicious pairing of courtney cox and bandleader violinist xavier cugat,
paul simon “you can call me spinach Al fredo burger,
frank sinaTravolta burger will make you sing and dance
the Brittany “Gimme More” Spears of asparagus burger,
the caspar weinberger, you guessed manischewitz wineburger,
Mama Cass t a net over this swordfishburger,
marie barone steak pizzaiola burger with homeade RAGU and Taragon sauce on panfocaccia,
rick SpringonionField served on a field of mixed greens,
and “The Closer” thank-you peppermintpattyburger with reeses pieces on the side