admiration for dr. kevorkian

`
shot of cortisone
in the sacroiliac
instability

a few weeks ago
i looked up dr. kevorkian
to see if he is still in prison
unfortunately he died
i don’t really know anything about his cases
but i think he helped people
no one has the right to make people live
when they are in physical unbearable pain
no chance of getting better
it’s very cruel
people who have no idea made the laws
i feel like i am going to choke to death
coughing like the first five and a half years again
from the toxic black molds
for about three weeks
every time i stand up & walk a few steps
i have a coughing asthma attack
every time i start to eat
i can’t quit coughing and choking
every time i move
having at least eight asthma attacks a day
and i can’t figure out why
and thanks to the government
who made the makers of MAXAIR
stop making because of CFC’s
chloroflurocarbons or something
inside my mouth not destroyng the planet
i’m using expired MAXAIR
because i’m allergic to everything else
i had reactions to over twenty years
i don’t know what exactly
because of the movers
except albuterol
so i was choking and the doctor
gave me a steroid shot
even though my internist gave me pills
that didn’t help
when i first got sick from mold
& no one knew what i had
and they gave me breathing treatments monday
albuterol
and i felt like i was hyperventilating
dizzy sitting down
and my legs would not stand
and back felt better
but they said that’s albuterol
i would have taken anything
because i am scared to die
and i keep choking from coughing
so violent a cough
chiropractor says it will break his fingers
child asks if you have sars
people were afraid of me
of course
at the doctor
but then i had two more attacks
at the pharmacy
right after the albuterol
so i don’t think it helped
doubled singulair and claritan
flovent
nexium
anything i can think of
nothing helps
they gave me a new inhaler
only has a little albuterol
said that’s all they can find
becaause of allergies
allergies caused by toxic molds
i have to sit very still
let food get cold
until you get over walking from the kitchen
and still get choked
used to be only from water
and now it’s food
have seven diseases
there is no cure
you go outside to get salt air
and idiots blow smoke into your lungs
my bones have started feeling like they will break
three pillows under each arm
since 2004
it’s much worse
like i’m 100
not fibromyalgia
is it from lyme
mercury
nexium
or leaky gut
doctor could think of a few things
they didn’t upset me & tell me

`

All I Can Say Is …


i am a person
of interest in zero crimes
hope you are also

when i was seven
i was in love with
elliott gould’s attorney

in forty years
there will be some funny looking
tattoos men eighty

if you are in a movie
and the phone starts ringing
do not answer

impossible
to follow you if your name is
iamthedevil

i was twenty three
began forgetting words
trying to speak long pause

two high pitched puppies
trying to outdo the other
thinking i won