quack for quacks haiku

catch and release crab
vegetarian method
blue crab fisherman

he is a good man
it would be funny if he
lived in maryland

both he and the crab
came to s.c.
to catch each other

pierre is so calm
“i bet you think this poem is
about you don’t you”

really and truly
giving ducks animal crackers
with their pictures

sneaking up on ducks
while they’re swimming in the pond
came a different way

animal crackers
need to be softened and wet
no time for fly zone

some will fly three feet
having no patience or time
can’t hold their horses

tomorrow may first
you can hear tribal drumming
ducks have left the pool

one gentleman said
they love to swim every night
think they own the pool

you could not tell him
having just written yourself
not the only one

he thinks like duck too
“wouldn’t that be loverly”
profession for quacks


sea above sea

light blue atop white
perfectly symmetrical
cotton clouds swimming

ocean in the sky
almost covering puffy clouds
above ocean

a nickel each time
asking is this jacuzzi
or baby pool

saying it’s warmer
sitting in the baby pool
seven adults

far enough away
you can hear the ocean
chirpy little palm birds

happily dancing
haiku waves reminding
seventeen syllables

Whocouldknowthen once
saying ” what isn’t a haiku
to you errin”

and Jeff “didn’t
understand comment it wasn’t
in form of haiku”

man who stopped
to pick me up noticed
i was having trouble breathing

he has a good eye
usually unperceptive
“you look wonderful”

roger over and
out, briefs “there are plenty
of first responders here”

look like a tourist
thought i was on vacation

seems like a good time
to see if mr. mullet
is catching any

for some reason
he has september and october
mixed up this year

not catching fish chat
“the preacher man was looking
for you and missed you”

conversion by the sea
and ye shall go to heaven
in a humvee


scott peterson hanukkah dreidel song III


he needs a food processor
so he can make chopped liver
but what he does not know yet
he’s going up the river

oh anchor anchor anchor
i made it out of cement
and if you had not caught me
i’d be in mexico in a tent

larry should retire (king)
give nancy grace his show ( i didn’t mean it)
she has many more expressions
than his do you know know

oh anchor …

every person here knows
you can’t put perfume on a pig
and when you go out fishing
you get saltwater on your rig

oh anchor …

after the new maid left
the mops they multiplied
never use your own computer
when looking up the tide

oh anchor …

he loves to do the yoga
make toothpaste art you see
he will never see a penny
the court will so decree

oh anchor …


fruit of the vine color test line

pineapple palm tree
you are sculpted perfectly
juicy pineapple

lasso strength hanging
bananas, yellow apples
from your green lulav

already fashioned
needing only fruit and wine
drunken underneath

always a drum beating
expecting betty white
in the proposal

obliging blackbird
shooed away by man in blue
boomerangs again

mr. mullet
“is not holding his mouth right”
not catching any fish

saying it’s too hot
blaming me for the rough waves
using green test line

younger friend has red
should be the law so you don’t
end up like marie

the only thing
mr. mullet caught the first day
was sun poisoning

interrupting chirping
adorable many
five mini three feet


Delicious Winds

celebration oats
swaying south while some sway north
circular wind stream

dancing by the sea
glorious shades of blue
sun dancing mild ripples

all framing portrait
high on wind the wind is high
kite sea sail flying

tiny birds grounded
for takeoff and departures
tower has spoken

how do fish know
to come to wednesday fish fry
reading their newspaper

wind must come from “west”
that’s when “fishing is the best”
fish love a good rhyme

biting “least with east”
when wind is south catch large mouth
fish north poker fourth

what else could it be
would like to play poker with
charlie the tuna

purposeful porpoise
pray tell sir do you have
any crazy eights


Bulldog’s Surf

Georgia bulldog
walking in surf just like me
longs to be close to you

parents teaching him
perpendicular bulldog
having fun blue sea

like he’s a child
showing him the most enjoyable
way to have fun

usually mother’s
and fathers hold their toddlers
like this in surf waves

drunken fisherman
only his neck above water
he is the bait

in my opinion
a fish will nibble him
before he catches one

why doesn’t he just
let the line out walk backwards
like normal people

time immemorial
cast far out waist deep
then back to knee or sand

parachute kite work
sliding yards across beach
really exercising

you have to be strong
it isn’t your father’s kite
some body builder

attorney wrapped in towel
discussing case with left
twizzlers in right

whenever he’s on phone
always chewing licorice
must be the law