7th day of hanukkah haiku

~
tahiti sounds nice
you can always be singing
south pacific songs

next to donald trump
what more could anyone ask
haiku write themselves

larry david qvetch
humorous narcissism
neighbor of all time

small castle for two
recipe for quintuplets
palatial restaurant

no leftover fries
backyard filled with potatoes
where cows make the brie

garden tomatoes
heirloom of the king’s great grand
body of baker

toast to perfection
machine that makes your own bread
she’s still in the box

cool scotland winters
too cold for ponies to prance
Findhorn vacation

bed and breakfast inn
are we in london my love
dark day at the beach

only on outside
seventy four degree warmth
december thirteenth

bikini weather
only because you are here
miracle of heat

watermeloness
agador spartacus lines
spring in december

a natural heat
seventh day of hanukkah
find circle of luck

~

Advertisements

you can have anything that you desire

~
on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me :
baked eggplant parmesan, spaghetti and cornbrea ad dress ing, a rucksack, hugo boss pajamas and a marc chagall stained glass painting…

on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me:
too many gifts to remember , the most beautiful silver prototype heart broach in the world , and i gave him a yiddish dic tion ary…

on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me:
the fifth day at the beach of seven ty degrees, because he’s magic and this warm weather in december has never before been seen….

on the fourth day of hanukkah my true love gave to me:
a forty pound lunch , a parrot fish with blue lips,weedy sea dragons, royal blue fish with yellow fins, sharks who swim above our head with perfect teeth , pizza , a large piece of chocolate fudge guarded by fort knox and a three hundred dollar trip to the aquarium …

on the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me:
the pearl from my mother’s ring that i lost , because he can find any thing

on the sixth day of christmas my true love said to me:
would you like me to put the kettle on
he gives me this gift eve ry day
herbal tea to hy drate me
that’s the best gift you see
cause toxic mold dehydrates me
then he carries the heavy chair, umbrella ,water and everything i need to the beach
because he’s the strongest man in the world

on the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me:
aphrodite’s good luck ring
she threw from cypress sea
a ring just for me
traveling from a twenty year jour ney

thirteen vegetables
fourteen if you count the pumpkin pie
two gorgeous umbrellas
polo ralph lauren pajamas
and three hours at the grocery store
in a carib bean haze

`
spoonful of sugar
will help the marmite go down
most delightful way

scott peterson hanukkah dreidel song III

.

he needs a food processor
so he can make chopped liver
but what he does not know yet
he’s going up the river

oh anchor anchor anchor
i made it out of cement
and if you had not caught me
i’d be in mexico in a tent

larry should retire (king)
give nancy grace his show ( i didn’t mean it)
she has many more expressions
than his do you know know

oh anchor …

every person here knows
you can’t put perfume on a pig
and when you go out fishing
you get saltwater on your rig

oh anchor …

after the new maid left
the mops they multiplied
never use your own computer
when looking up the tide

oh anchor …

he loves to do the yoga
make toothpaste art you see
he will never see a penny
the court will so decree

oh anchor …

.

scott peterson “dreidel dreidel dreidel” II

.

i had a little anchor
i made it out of cement
and when it dried and readied
fishing’s where i went

oh anchor anchor anchor
i made it out of cement
and if you had not caught me
i’d be in mexico in a tent

the mitchell’s they watch football
whether rain or it does shine
but all they saw on that day
were footballs in their mind

oh anchor anchor anchor …

he spoke to diane sawyer
and did pretend to cry
but when he bleached his eyebrows
he got dye inside his eye

oh anchor …

15,000 on his dashboard
his brother’s ID too
his hair he colored orange
he was not going to play through (golf)

oh anchor …

scott will get his cookie
on thursday it is time
i must call my bookie
to bet he does more time

oh anchor …

.
i can’t believe i found many more verses, you are welcome bitter ben, for the dreidel song in your head all day.

sung to I had a little dreydl

.

scott peterson hanukkah song:

in jail no lovely bodies
just the voices in your head
no strip clubs or hot toddies
and bay mosquitoes in your bed

oh scotty, scotty , scotty….

his uncle’s from alaska
he sees scott once a year
if it had been more often
he’d be crying in his beer

oh scotty, scotty, scotty…

the jury is so bored
yes they try to stay awake
it helps when every witness
says the wrong decision they did make

oh scotty, scotty, scotty…

mark is going to blow it
the jury is asleep
judge D said no more sympathy
but mark told you know who to weep

oh, scotty, scotty, scotty…

(first you have to have followed the trial, remembered for ten years & then you would have to know this song :

“i had a little dreydl
i made it out of clay
and when it’s dry & ready
then dreydyl i shall play”

& how many people could that be?

Band Camp wrote the oh scotty,scotty, scotty part & I cannot remember the words)

.

bubble wrap him for hanukkah


one year i gave him
twenty seven presents
mr. mishuginah

think it may have been
twenty seven pairs of socks
plus seven presents

one for every night
all of his socks had big holes
he liked it that way?

every week i shopped
tj maxx and other stores
most beautiful socks

ocd shopping
ocd with his big holes
every mall d.c.

cannot remember
any of the other gifts
except for these two

one wasn’t a gift
this is the best gift ever
popping bubble wrap

every day for a month
he popped his bubble wrap
and said he loved it

and when it ran out
probably put me on a plane
in the lightning

.

all i want for hanukkah is olivia pope

it’s that time of year.well, no  it’s a different time, every year.you have to look at the jewish calendar or an american calendar and subtract a day.only four more shopping days or  if you are reformed five more shopping days.so hard to find a good parking place.the lines at the mall are unbelieveable.the hanukkah decorations are beautiful,if you can find any decorations. macy’s has so many dreidel ornaments to hang on your tree, but you don’t have a tree. unless… you are married to someone who is christian.there must be a lot of interfaith marriages.why else would macy’s have so many different hanukkah, chridtmas tree ornaments.bloomingdales always has chocolate covered apples with royal blue ribbons. i like to decorate with these, because i haven’t seen any new hanukkah decorations ,since 1st  grade. godiva likes to wrap candy boxes in blue ribbon also. that magically turns them into chanukkah gifts.

you watch for all of the channukkah shows on food tv ,instead of the normal brisket and potato latkees… they had thanksgving dinners  almost 24/7 for a week, but all you can find are shows about pork loins and crab bisque.i guess it’s a kosher crab from myrtle beach;the crab who tried to eat me.oh well , maybe the chefs are reformed, also.life in america is easier if you are reformed.

it’s almost time to watch the many  hanukah movies and figure out where to hide the presents.my favorite holiday movie is Mixed Nuts ,where adam sandler sings his hanukkah song and ,and ….are there any other holday movies?someone invite larry david to dinner and make a new chanukah movie, and a new song, also .i only know three: adam sandler’s song , dreidel, dreidel ,dreidel and on the first day of hanukkah, my true love gave to me; a crisis manager named olivia pope.