“the problem is you’re two tents” haiku

`

pointing to two tents
tent poles of conversation
about the tent poles

” having a dinner
for people who do not clot
necrophiliacs”

so busy thinking
i’m not sure that’s the right word
you miss the haiku

suddenly laughter
one a m in the morning
word pops in your head

hemophiliac
remembering what she said
anastasia

her little brother
romanoff and baltimore
you can call me al

another driver
when they take the tent poles down
always remember

and then dr. katz
“i’m a pup tent i’m a teepee
i’m a pup tent”

so dr. katz said
“your problem is you’re two tents”
but really too tense

`

drop that fish and table for one haiku

`
two banana boats
two parasailing one plane
tiny deviled crab

floating above trees
sky and sea beautiful blues
the wind is perfect

the delightful air
and then an upside down fish
closes in on you

before you can move
a bird tried to pick him up
as big as she is

then five birds appear
drop him four times and then leave
losing appetite

facing each other
incoming banana boat
other outgoing

he’s an extrovert
and their captains are also
one circles the waves

the water like glass
clear enough to see clear fish
schools delight the eyes

heaven to watch you
fireworks over the beach
we are still waiting

last three nights at twelve
only hearing from inside
through the tall oak trees

standing by the pond
you hear a man cross the bridge
“hey table for one

it’s good to see you”
there is no person behind
ducks quack in the night

`
8/14/15

september wind breezes end haiku

`
beautiful seniors
in their bikinis they shine
enjoy september

oceanfront pizza
pie and surrounding beauty
Mr. Who singing

with Frank Sinatra
New York New York can can dance
“in the summer wind”

she’s sixty today
Greenville, S.C.
must lay the slice down

in order to clap
just as much for Greenville as
young woman’s birthday

`

earth day duck beach pool haiku

`
a woman laughing
she sounds just like a duck
highest balcony

please look to your right
pierre floating in six feet
get off of the rope

immemorial
phrase you never stop hearing
pierre loves the rope

one man lies in sun
pierre swimming by himself
earth day everyone

for thirty minutes
in the middle of the pool
owning each april

boss of all bosses
even man with hamburgers
does not disturb duck

secret service ducks
having a very hard time
wind blows bread far right

one in every crowd
although he is by himself
he loves his chlorine

temperature rises
seventy six five p m
seventy three day

duck is deep in thought
maybe writing a haiku
fast moving water

how does duck stay still
when the current is so strong
blue shining ripples

he has crossed the rope
heading straight for the ladder
sipping the chlorine

sitting on the rope
little bit ocd duck
back and forth he goes

he’s swimming around
the octagonal edges
and then duck jumps out

give him nine point nine
his happy tail is wagging
trying to dry off

remember last year
as soon as he was dry, man
walks by , jumps back in

`

i will never like another pancake haiku as long as i live

`

the next thing i knew
post liking pancake haiku
he asks for nude pic

should i have sent him
a pancake with no syrup
maybe he meant this

this place called twitter
who knows what will happen next
sent my niece haiku

king charles spaniel niece
Savannah from atlanta
she’s a southern belle

yell at criminals
avatar pyramid scheme
send them to prison

stock broker follows
for no apparent reason
from greenville s.c.

tell me what are odds
greenville and a stock broker
father volunteer

everyone waited
for the broker to go home
then called my father

asking him stock quotes
after father retired
volunteer broker

hello paine webber
every time he retired
went to the market

taking me at one
to hornblower and weeks
“horace hates errors”

written on my pen
should have sold it on ebay
learned who horace was

`
of course a haiku:

” let them hate me as
long as they fear restrained
mockery of horace”

85-8 BCE
john forestar

`

vitamin D light delight until a yellow boat appears haiku

`
you ask yourself which
vitamin is the most fun
and most beautiful

banana boat
attacks you in the sea
floating away from anchor

stopping many surf boards
talented of all the toes
this just too big

searching for a guy
usually four in bright suits
banana white hair

see that he’s reading
woman runs to him pointing
can’t go left or right

join U S navy
rubberized ducky boat girl
learn to tie some knots

you will surrender
take me to your leader
top banana of all

until mr. m
taps you on the head, it isn’t
rosh hoshannah

prefer red test line
only eleven days left
september fish men

sea concession stand?
shore bird munching on cheetos
he’s done this before

where did you get these
would love to join you mr.
crunching in the surf

`

catching an early wave with ringo haiku

`
didn’t say swimming
i said i went in the ocean
different story”

“six o clock in the
morning invigorating”
bone chilling haiku

“you will be up at
three a m in a couple of years”
his wife said

back on track people
not here to reminisce
about old hurricanes

we’ve already missed
three weeks of mr. mullet
you know he’s out there

off to the sea
they always say have a good day
like going to work

cotton pickin ocean
how can it be anything
but wonderful

do not tempt sea nyph
they could swallow you whole
or sunburn one’s tushie

“too too tootsie goodbye
too too tootsie don’t cry”
where did you come from

Ringo’s father
the same pattern of behavior
every single time

he jumps in the pool
six feet straight down like a bullet
sits wooden wall

middle exactly
beach towel hanging from neck
smokes bad cigarette

walking up tiki
from there it’s a mystery
need to know basis

perhaps slow gin fizz
or queen elizabeth’s sister
bloody mary

`

she has no maize & neither do i ,we have both of our legs haiku

`
i met a kind nurse
she was allergic to corn
feeling bad for her

pops into your head
everyday is passover
the first to say this?

and then the next day
they told me that i was too
already knew wheat

and then i knew this
passover every day too
let them eat matzo

marie antoinette
wheat is also in matzo
let them eat sponge cake

allergy to eggs
what would marie antoinette
tell me to go eat

talking to myself
get ready for passover
i crack myself up

what is there to do
when every day seems pesach
ocd cleaning

ritual cleansing
vinegar for the counters
ice box,stove,oven

yes i said ice box
too many syllables this
refrigerator

and this may be why
jews are born with ocd
five thousand years

please tell me which box
pesach silverware is in
two hundred boxes

and only one drawer
who builds a house with one drawer
kitchen beach condo

so at four a m
how do you peel hard boiled eggs
kitchen sink breaks

i’m sure there’s a law
if it’s not good for your health
should not eat something

angel of death, takes
me away to calgon bath
perfume allergy

`

elephants do not belong on chests , snuggies belong on dogs haiku

`
deserted lawn chair
when no one is sitting here
what sights do you see

he likes commercial
elephant sitting on chest
inhale aversion

cannot think of one
single commercial i like
deceptive fibbing

is anything ever
as wonderful as they say
advertising

remember k-tel
own the tea cup of our queen
a nice chia pet

always buy presents
for dog nieces and nephews
we aren’t related

the blanket for dogs
buying all the store had
for puppies to snuggle

inexpensive gift
walgreens had too many left
only three dollars

cold in the shadows
behind vast palmetto flag
white cloud sun hiding

—
“love in the shadows
got to put your faith in things
when the sun goes down”

Neal Sedaka
Love in the Shadows

`

me neither bitter ben ides of march and no birthday cupcakes haiku

`
“ever have a day
everything goes your way
feel you can do no wrong”

“worst time 1:38
too early to fake work
too long from lunch breaks”

“after winter
Bostoners won’t have anything
to complain about”

“i don’t always tweet
but when i do i almost
always go on just

“why not a t-shirt
that says kick me i’m irish
for me to give out”

“so wearing purple
keeps you just as safe as green
st. patrick’s day right”?

“my favorite
amendment is the fifth , your right
to remain silent”

“i’d be okay
if NSA & Obama
were reading my tweets”

(“they would be the first”)

“i wouldn’t even watch
for the commercials or
halftime tornado”

`
bensbitterblog.com