last straw plantation PTSD

`
it was about 7:30 & the ocean breeze was the best it had ever been .so i left, before anyone pulled out a cigarette and ruined it. there was a lot of noise like people throwing a sofa, sounding like it was coming from the roof. it was nothing like the noise from above the tennis villa , since feb 1st . turn the tv louder to mute . some idiot banging on my outer door that has a chain ,ringing the bell for maybe 20 minutes , until i’m so hysterical i can’t move, because i have ptsd from just that..
i don’t care if the building is burning down: no one has any reason to come to the door,ring a bell, much less that nightmare. and a plane crashed right outside ,i was told ,caught on fire & the whole lodge would go up,he said if it happened closer.

so 3 years ,no one helped me, for 10 months at 2359. every single night , what i think was a man stomping every two hours all night . the only time, i could sleep was when he went to play golf. the floors are a nightmare.
you aren’t allowed to make noise after 11 pm…the security guards wanted me to email & wake up
person who rents condos at 3 am & every time , he was stomping, which was every night & ridiculous, but nothing was ever done for 10 months, just a runaround.

*then in #2346 ,for an entire winter,i had to be woken every day, no rain, from 9 – 5 or 6 p m by sawing wood outside my bedroom window & hammering & made sick from sawdust then carpet glue ,when the building was practically empty.they have to go outside the sick person’s condo. the sawdust could have killed me. allergic since i was little , before toxic mold. no one cared to even stop the noise.

so i move to a top floor & then later , i bought a top floor for that reason. (millions of baby roaches in the walls that came out every time you turn on water,inside the oven, stove, microwave,everything possible). they are all gone now,unbelievably, but i bought a tennis villa & the lady who sold it to me said she never saw a bug & that it was quiet.
no one lived there & the family that owns it just lets family come.
the next day bugs but , since feb. 1, it’s been nonstop noise for 7 months except 2 & 1/2 weeks. every 5-7 minutes : banging, stomping ,running…. when inside,they never sleep 7 hours.

about six weeks ago ,i sent 3 pages to security .no one would put up with this…
you’re only allowed to complain after 11 pm… i said i’m going to the police if it doesn’t stop.. for 3 days it was quiet. and then all hell broke loose again.

so a new security guard was trying to give me a heart attack tonight. i cannot believe the things i’ve had to put up with 3 years & apparently people below complained of people moving furniture – me. the absolute stupidity. where has he been when i needed him for 3 years & it’s 8 pm…& he was rude & yelly & i was just as smart alecky , b/c he’s the last straw.

i asked him did he really think i was throwing furniture .of all people in the world & i think he did, b/c he said smart alecky well where do i think it’s coming from.
i cried for 2 hours,until i had to get out of here, b/c i’m scared to death again.. he said he has to be able to get in (meaning all guards) i asked him to come in twice & look & he said i’m not coming in…& he told me to turn the tv down. it was to cover the noise & him. so i have to listen to the horrible noise even louder, & he didn’t stop the banging.

my chest hurts badly. i don’t know how many asthma attacks i’ve had today. i went to the gate & the idiot was sitting there & the noise was still here at 10 when i left & i asked why is he sitting there ..why me? why scare me to death & not go stop the noise.

no it’s always me. people do whatever they want to me for 15 years & it ends tonight.. & the other nice guard told me don’t be afraid of him. he’s not going to hurt you..but that’s exactly what he just did & says he will do again..they can’t hear me, but he is exactly what i am afraid of a retired sheriff who tells me ,he has to be able to get in whenever he has to . yet he wouldn’t come in. they say he’ll be in trouble doing whatever he wants & being mean.

i could not be angrier at the 8 pm someone complains of noise & someone actually tried to do something , when i’ve tried to complain 100 times for 1000’s of hours of noise after 11 pm & nothing for almost 200 days . that’s even worse than ptsd & the pain in my chest & throat ,trying to yell at him.
and then he stopped looking for the noise. she said oh we’ll walk up & down until we find it..
i did that myself. you can’t hear furniture outside.
inside is a nightmare and it isn’t paradise if you have to fight the cigarettes to breathe every darn time you walk outside.this is the last place in the world to come if you have breathing problems. i can’t believe the health department lets people smoke IN the pool. one guy in the jacuzzi.

people who live here complain of cigarettes all over their yard & then they say i really have a reason.i don’t think i have ever been outside where they don’t get me. i was ready to leave.it’s pointless.
`

the cigarettes do
so much more damage than the
ocean breeze does good

i have been accused
moving furniture the crime
retired sheriff

arms hurt bad nine months
can hardly pull my top off
reach in cabinet

`

12:40 am & bang. nothing compared to the noise above villa.

1:24 a m 2 bangs sounds like balcony door below me , the complainers.

7:30pm bang 8:19 bang 11:47 pm terrible hammering noise

wed 12:30-12: 58 pm dropping furniture banging ; probably housekeeping

sharks steal no swimming sign haiku

`
sharks knock off at six
everyone’s in the ocean
lifeguards have gone home

you’ll happen upon
two guys from Dirty Dancing
doing the lift scene

and i wasn’t wrong
second attempt is the charm
held for one second

both weigh more than me
two grown men in their thirties
not being funny

it’s all about kites
black remarkably large bird
coordination

he’s flying the kite
picks up his three year old son
kite in his right hand

other on his son
then he sits in the ocean
still flying the kite

stands with no problem
how long have we been looking
the wrong direction

a royal blue kite north
resembling an octopus
makes s’s and u’s

very fun to watch
green jellyfish tiny boy
next to each other

a fifteen foot tail
flying high above the beach
S’s next to me

nine thirty so dark
tiny piece of sun so dark
fire in the sky

no it was the moon
hidden behind a white cloud
and rising higher

myrtle beach distance
fireworks fill the night sky
several miles away

each time you look south
u hear a loud whoosh behind
spin like a dreidel

they’re so close to you
you judged the smoke direction
correctly my friend

fireworks above
ten sparklers , five cheerleaders
little boy Rockettes

`

confederate flag vacationing north myrtle 44 chairs haiku

`
sounding like a gun
M eighties at 4:30
you owe me sixteen

four nexium flew
and of course tranquilizers
really needing one

a lady asks me
if i want her to help me
picking up the pills

boards where people walk
silly ocd question
thank-you of course not

daylight moon shining
red helicopter with a sign
does a loop de loop

reverse flying high
silver plane above the moon
or so it appears

confederate flag
half past marker 44
no good evil klan

i stand there staring
the flag is sitting alone
for twenty minutes

four coolers of beer
two blue, red and corina
should find a lighter

the bastards came back
staring twenty more minutes
at their stupid flag

five real big tough guys
at least five other people
one comes down half way

intimidate me
trying as hard as he can
not moving muscle

finally he leaves
they send a twenty year old
a hard yellow ball

that game in the sand
still staring at stupid flag
one hand on my hip

“is something wrong or
are you just staring at us”
like he doesn’t know

while glaring at him
i’ll stand where i damn well please
he can’t see me glare

wearing sunglasses
should have thought of an answer
before being asked

if they don’t want peeps
to stare ,then why do they have
that stupid flag there

a black grandmother
walks by with her granddaughter
she said do not look

those stupid bastards
ruining vacations at beach
almost at the top

philadelphia
african american
do not worry child

they take the high road
say jerks have freedom of speech
always taken this high

you take the high road
end up with isis and klan
sick of the high road

security guard
he doesn’t know which is worse
those who fly the flag

or the ones who say
that they do not understand
thinking the flyers

`

a trip to paradise for sale or lease haiku

~

furnished beach condo
one thousand dollars each month
six months or longer

non smoking indoors
one hundred steps to the sea
you can ride the tram

blue granite kitchen
air conditioning is new
new appliances

a quiet top floor
parachutes drift in the sky
your living room view

seven outdoor pools
beach club ,tennis ,ducks ,putting
indoor pool also

~

There’s No Crying In Beach Ball

_

volley or soccer
attacked from behind
ball landed against my shin

after saying dam_
wondered why me of seventy
what are the odds

this is much later
two love birds bickering
calling each other names

“don’t interrupt game
in other words just stand there
and don’t say nothin”

he asked me if i
was catching a cold from the
air conditioning

yes fifteen years ago
i caught a cold from the
air conditioning

“music and passion
always the fashion
at the copacabana”

now that’s a beach song
two years have never heard this
at the cabanas

blue white sheikhs inside
six thousand dollars a week
for the cabanas

twenty something people
trying to decide what
to do for dinner

“last chance for romance”
actually last chance to breathe
cigarette left field

kids could hit you
with ten balls wouldn’t hurt
bad as mother’s cigarette

i was thinking
“this could be heaven and this could be hell”
but it’s hell

two hours deciding
what to have for dinner
just go already

cigarettes not only choke
they make me grumpy
can tell by my poems

also they murder
your aunts and godmother
RJR cheats death row

diversification
have some cookies
with your cigarettes traitors


7/13

You’re My Lucky Star

.
it can’t be live from wales
my father’s favorite
tom jones in the flesh

golf cart chauffeur asks
are you going for the music
shake your head yes

but had no idea
another man peeking through fence
like my neighbor

who would promise
not to knock over water
if you get in pool

telling me about
his tennis villa and i
made an offer too

you have to like this
an anti-smoking neighbor
and jim walks over

extends his arm
“hi i’m jim and you were writing
poetry last year”

didn’t even tell
that man who asked if i was
“counting jellyfish”

three months ago
i expected someone to say
you were here last year

the moon must be full
lots of men flirting tonight
coughing with a mask

so ill i cannot
even walk without coughing
alaska can hear

tom jones singing
lyrical wonderful moonlight
best you’ll ever hear

Ringo’s peeking
under the chair tail calling
to come play with him now

Fin

.

Delicious Winds

.
celebration oats
swaying south while some sway north
circular wind stream

dancing by the sea
glorious shades of blue
sun dancing mild ripples

all framing portrait
high on wind the wind is high
kite sea sail flying

tiny birds grounded
for takeoff and departures
tower has spoken

how do fish know
to come to wednesday fish fry
reading their newspaper

wind must come from “west”
that’s when “fishing is the best”
fish love a good rhyme

biting “least with east”
when wind is south catch large mouth
fish north poker fourth

what else could it be
would like to play poker with
charlie the tuna

purposeful porpoise
pray tell sir do you have
any crazy eights

.

Bulldog’s Surf

.
Georgia bulldog
walking in surf just like me
longs to be close to you

parents teaching him
perpendicular bulldog
having fun blue sea

like he’s a child
showing him the most enjoyable
way to have fun

usually mother’s
and fathers hold their toddlers
like this in surf waves

drunken fisherman
only his neck above water
he is the bait

in my opinion
a fish will nibble him
before he catches one

why doesn’t he just
let the line out walk backwards
like normal people

time immemorial
cast far out waist deep
then back to knee or sand

parachute kite work
sliding yards across beach
really exercising

you have to be strong
it isn’t your father’s kite
some body builder

attorney wrapped in towel
discussing case with left
twizzlers in right

whenever he’s on phone
always chewing licorice
must be the law

.

one crab keeps kosher

in six inches of water,i was thinking about all of the people who had been attacked by sharks over spring break,in florida and all of a sudden something grabbed my foot and pulled me.

hysterical i jumped out and asked the fisherman if they were fishing for sharks and they said yes. my foot was bleeding and a very sweet teenager said a crab had grabbed my foot.that was the last time i was going to get in water that deep.eleven days later,i was in water only above my feet, when all of a sudden ,i couldn’t move and just stood there like an idiot pointing at a real shark,i hoped was a dolphin, but it wasn’t….

finally i could move and seven crazy paople came toward me  and the shark,and took pictures of him.he was in very shallow water and swimming in circles eating the bait fish.this woman , from georgia,got out of  her chair and had seen me pointing and asked how i saw him.i said because i was looking.then the people who took his picture tried to tell me how big he was and i said i know he was 15 feet away from me, but i really didn’t know :apparently he was six feet long.i never saw his face.so much for two inches of water.then there was a giant crab,possibly 12 inches around, who wasn’t even in the ocean, but getting a tan.he lifted his back,if the surf came close to him.

the wind was blowing 16 mph and i was thinking, this is ridiculous i feel like uncle fester and 2 seconds later, this man came toward me and said look it’s uncle fester to his friend.”what did you say ,i was just thinking that exact same thing”.