“the problem is you’re two tents” haiku

`

pointing to two tents
tent poles of conversation
about the tent poles

” having a dinner
for people who do not clot
necrophiliacs”

so busy thinking
i’m not sure that’s the right word
you miss the haiku

suddenly laughter
one a m in the morning
word pops in your head

hemophiliac
remembering what she said
anastasia

her little brother
romanoff and baltimore
you can call me al

another driver
when they take the tent poles down
always remember

and then dr. katz
“i’m a pup tent i’m a teepee
i’m a pup tent”

so dr. katz said
“your problem is you’re two tents”
but really too tense

`

sumo mullet haiku

~

8/5

belly flop mullet
from two different directions
at least twelve inches

five at the same time
jumping into each other
right in front of you

thousands of mullet
never seeing fish so close
last week they were small

sumo chasing them
standing in a pool low tide
almost an hour

south to myrtle beach
except they jump from both sides
and a sideways wave

swim from the round pool
teeny mullet jumping high
twenty at a time

riding the wave tip
then they’re flying wallendas
big kahuna wave

when they flop back down
large fish make circular waves
just like a rain drop

eventually girls
oblivious to mullet
float behind the pool

father calls them back
drift toward north carolina
still not seeing fish

they walk back on land
going the wrong way too fast
very good idea

~

every tern a season haiku

`

9/18/15

standing by egret
we have egret on standby
sneaky baby bird

the terns are watching
to every tern a season
we are all waiting

a golf announcer
egret has sneaking long legs
beak has missed twice now

stand by for lift up
these are very tiny fish
fourth try and no dice

you might want to think
about becoming a nice
vegetarian

because two dozen
would only be a light snack
can’t even catch one

minnows are swimming
happily away from bird
walking by their side

`

“bring me” haiku in the pool and keep the 200 year flood

`

“it’s like bath water”
a nickel for every time
“bring me bar of soap”

“if you could bring me
back a meatball sub for dessert
that would be good”

he was having thai
his in-laws olive garden
the best of both worlds

thai seasons haiku
he wanted olive garden
i wanted pad thai

so i asked his wife
directions to thai seasons
thank him for haiku

he was offering
sweet tea vodka lemonade
you say no thank-you

but then you wonder
simply having no idea
was that one or three

the answer was two
you enjoy the lemonade
floating in window

“i was looking for
my daughter and her husband
have they been gone long”

several hours since
you show her they are still here
she has to bend down

the whole family
should write a book of haiku
my fingers are wet

they stood in the rain
barely drizzling outside
on your sunglasses

“ray charles everyone
he can’t see you but he can
hear you, make some noise”

it was a mistake
the pool shouldn’t be heated
he hit the wrong switch

did i mention that
i would like to have pad thai
“body of baker”

`
* day one / the flood of 2015

fish have band, birds have choir and sharks play poker haiku

`

9/25/15

you are so tiny
jumping out of the water
from two feet away

when you turn around
to see the fish behind you
they make a circle

all at the same time
must be friday band practice
stop searching for shells

fish are excited
fisherman stopped to catch bait
in only one net

went back to fishing
because he caught so many
you can just reach down

she takes the photo
seventy birds singing songs
choir practice too

slowly following
fish back upstream to the pool
choreography

much needed practice
sound like baby chickadees
peeping from chicklets

when you’re almost back
to where the water’s waist deep
shark came two fridays

a group of fourteen
guy carrying a big stick
forgetting these guys

twenty feet apart
two women stand with leashes
long measuring stick

men holding notebooks
the water is two feet deep
girl dropped her iphone

watch her recover
in the fast moving water
lady with big stick

laughs as something crawls
who knows what they are doing
wet and giggling

`

albert the dachshund loves yoghurt

`
cute little dachshund
going potty on beach chairs
mother gives free reign

allowing him to
do whatever he wants to
kisses my fingers

and he was standing
right next to my pink flip flops
thank-you for finding

dog cannot tell time
he’s half an hour early
allowed after five

your secret is safe
mother likes to break the rules
an unwritten law

“if you know albert
like i know albert oh oh
oh what a dachshund”

speaking queen’s english
enjoys his parent’s yoghurt
and a good figure

`

elvis , a six year old’s dream & crocodile guy haiku

`
selling like hot cakes
the temptations are singing
funny expression

international
house of pancakes can tell us
how fast they do sell

“talkin bout my guy
what can make me feel this way”
sign says no swimming

elvis and rooster
temptations, four tops and chuck
“when you get the blues”

don’t have to sing that
johnny cash gives me the blues
killing in conway

you knew he would sing
“you may have driven right through
conway to get here”

actually the train
universal orlando
seventeen hours

stopping at hotel
forgetting the name of town
two hours away

close as you can get
lady who worked at hotel
going to the beach

dinner with husband
and shopping at bass pro shops
so they drive you here

they didn’t want you
to spend four hundred dollars
on a taxi cab

their granddaughter said
when i grow up i’m going
to buy this condo

she was almost six
this was the prettiest place
she had ever seen

“great balls of fire
she can shake that diamond ring
whole lot of shakin”

in mississippi
you can marry your cousin
she’s only thirteen

the crocodile rock
he swam with crocs this morning
don’t try this at home

“i’m professional”
degree in stupidity
while trying to sleep

he jumps on the croc
then four other people jump
move him to the zoo

hatch babies from eggs
wonder what kind of problem
you have in your head

while she laid her eggs
he said she was in a trance
kissing her forehead

laid down on her back
thinking you are a fruitcake
you could be her lunch

then he said as much
when she came out of her trance
did she tell him this

`
7/21/15

drop that fish and table for one haiku

`
two banana boats
two parasailing one plane
tiny deviled crab

floating above trees
sky and sea beautiful blues
the wind is perfect

the delightful air
and then an upside down fish
closes in on you

before you can move
a bird tried to pick him up
as big as she is

then five birds appear
drop him four times and then leave
losing appetite

facing each other
incoming banana boat
other outgoing

he’s an extrovert
and their captains are also
one circles the waves

the water like glass
clear enough to see clear fish
schools delight the eyes

heaven to watch you
fireworks over the beach
we are still waiting

last three nights at twelve
only hearing from inside
through the tall oak trees

standing by the pond
you hear a man cross the bridge
“hey table for one

it’s good to see you”
there is no person behind
ducks quack in the night

`
8/14/15

and then the flying walendas II & three sharks haiku

`

twenty four hours
a long line of fish swimming
away from the sea

where are you going
do you have coups in the sea
searching for something

you’re going to save
ali mohammed al nimr
no humans can stop

terror on the land
suddenly they’re twice as fast
flying walendas

twenty at a time
please do not tickle the shin
only your fancy

ten thousand sea birds
nary a one go hungry
fish for everyone

couple sits in surf
middle age middle of fish
walendas jump high

the man just stood up
came to ask if i would like
“see sharks in the wild”

i shake my head no
three very large sharks dining
of course, the minnows

i backed up ten feet
now hundreds of mullet jump
shark the reason why

we’re only five peeps
against these three south beach sharks
they’re full to the gills

actually just moi
four halfway back to hotel
after last haiku

just three sharks and me
back up again to dry land
and do the mouse scream

scarier alone
all three perpendicular
you have shark side view

`
9/26/15

teddy toddler turtle and elevator dog haiku

`

10/11/15

walking on the bridge
teddy bear toddler on leash
daddy other end

then you see they’re twins
mother walking teddy too
then small dog walks by

on his mother’s leash
tiny toddler’s tiny dog
daddy turns around

end of the boardwalk
“feel like i’m walking a dog”
that’s what it looks like

you’re walking two dogs
and two dogs passing also
next a dalmation

taller than children
holding a giant turtle
men under the bridge

searching for something
forever home for turtle
finding in the surf

he didn’t belong
home of turtles and ducklings
pointing to the pond

a very long walk
for both man and the turtle
they tell you thank-you

you tell them thank-you
turtle bobbing in the surf
now he’s back to life

he’s on holiday
people usually bring bread
he will be happy

mother and jaden
jogging by me with haiku
two hours later

“hello again it
turned out to be a nice day
i am so happy”

from two poems ago
both wave while jogging by surf
changing directions

elevator dog
father explains etiquette
tells him look to left

he doesn’t listen
looking to the right at me
wagging his cute tail

rub his ears three floors
neither of us listen to
smiling dog parents

`