haiku tv nineteen is gluten free

`
i just made biscuits
right then on law and order
his mother calls him

you biscuit eating
son of a you know what
and then he confesses

Goren thinks man
professional confessor
to get away from mom

“all he does all day
sit around eating biscuits”
mother to Isis

`
“beautiful woman
with a lot to offer
shall we make an offer”

Modern Family
`

“bless me father
for i have done nothing but watch
pornos” on tv

The Closer
`

“you can just imagine
you have a cowboy riding you
like a horse”

ETV Yoga
`

“can we go
to the concussion i think
i have a hospital”

Raising Hope
`

Smile

“not just because
of the tootsie roll we hide
in every pocket”

“congratulations
mikey you got yourself
one of those trophy wives”

Mike and Molly
`

seventeen, haiku tv, the funniest

.
“his christening
before they broke the champagne bottle
over his head”
Gracie’s Uncle Harvey

“i heard your mamma
rang a guy’s bells all the way
to heaven tonight”
Mike and Molly

“at your age
you shouldn’t look at furniture
unless it has a lid”
Frank Barone to Marie

“don’t use the woman
who’s sleeping with my girlfriend
to try to flip me”
The Good Wife

“really don’t like
how your wings poke me when we sleep
cause you’re an angel”
Big Bang Theory

“sixty percent
believe the noah’s ark story
is completely true”
Bill Maher /HBO

“stan’s cousin
the diabetic is visiting
from arizona”
Marie Barone

“the cow gives all the milk
but the bull gets the blue ribbon
a man’s world”
Gracie Allen

.

stream of mullet no Isles

“””

fly like a mullet
jumping for saltwater joy
pulsating oceans

feeling like a dog
hanging his puppy head
outside the car window

knows how to have fun
no better feeling in the world
blowing here now

she told her boyfriend
because of her fortune cookie
she had to leave

he kissed her forehead
told her he understood
she had to start over

i don’t understand
Soprano psychiatrist
what a fruitcake

literally
i get stupid fortune cookies
almost every day

i guess that’s tv
cause of no one’s
ability for happiness

marriage made
in confederacy
she lives in NY he lives here

“””

rizzoli and isles

you may have ptsd if :

~~~~

last thing you do
when you leave your home
put the doorbell back together

first task on hand
when you arrive at your new home
unscrew the doorbell

friday doorbell rings
so you jump through the ceiling
how can that happen

fire alarm works
toaster oven sets it off
eggplant parmesan

saturday doorbell rings
screws are safely in drawer
man came to fix locks

how did it do that
he said oh yeah it did ring
bending the wires

so they will not touch
anything important
or out the door it goes

i heard a haiku
while making eggpant parmesan
then i forgot

~
law and order
Eames said this about her father
criminal intent :

he has irish alzheimers
he only remembers
_ _ _ _

then i realized
possibly funny
because i forgot what she said

~
here are two
i heard a few hours later
still criminal intent

go get me
a frappuccino and while you’re out
stab the CEO

you’ll have to
sell your houses now move into
aunt louanne’s rumpus room

~~~

haiku tv fifteen the new season

^

“that boy wants a bar
mitzvoh i’m going to throw
him a bar mitzvoh”

Blackish
`
“now you’re my boyfriend
you have to buy me ice cream
tell me i’m pretty”

The Middle
`
“i know that we’re
supposed to keep our underwear on
but i didn’t”

The Mysteries of Laura
`

her dad said “apple pie
without cheese is like a
kiss without a squeeze”

Food TV
`

“i’ve got to say
out of the four of you
Vito is the best kisser”

Brooklyn 9-9
`

“you do not get to be
rosa parks without
rosa parks bus driver”

John Oliver HBO
`

“sometimes i find it
easier to despise someone
than to love them”

Boardwalk Empire
`

“what is it next crouch cam
we think he meant crotch cam
this is cnn”

Bra Cam CNN
`

“please return your guest
pajamas, your guest toothbrush
and guest” something else

Brooklyn 9-9
`

“i never eat anchovies
unless i don’t know
i am eating them”

” either you lead me
to Berlin or i will lead
Berlin unto you ”

The Blacklist
`

bob’s burgers VII

don’t be afraid to bite this: adam and eve gardenburger,

Eliot “ain’t Ness essarily so” beer burger,

barefoot in the park er house roll sliders,

don’t be Blind Side ed by this sandra bullock Proposal burger,with onion Rings.

Reach er for tom cruise’s Vanilla bean Sky blue cheese burger,

jack ben ihana’s teppanyaki burger,

jimmy mchugh dorothy fields Exactly Like Ewe’s milk cheeseburger,

the harry connick “Bear Necessities” jr burger ,only ketchup added.

Scandal stop the tortured violence

first, why is the district attorney running around trying to save huck from being tortured & not our crisis fixer,olivia , who can look at someone and guess exactly what needs to be accomplished. she always guesses the next step, before it happens and stops any situation.why didn’t she know huck was being destroyed, waterboarded for days…i think it was days:i had to change the channel for a third of the show.(i guess she was too busy worrying about the president and answering every third call from her boyfriend).
who wants to see someone being tortured to death, not to mention an innocent person. this is why i had to turn off another favorite show “last resort”.when they picked up the cane that was goodbye.i cannot believe and will never forget that barbaric episode.i was looking for henry VIII to appear…jail vs a cane. next show is probably beheadings.
i’m sure the mafia, murderers and serial killers enjoyed scandal tonight and all of the evil sociopaths at home like casey anthony and those watching from jail like misty croslin,ronald cummings,scott peterson.
don’t we see enough of this,in the paper, on the news,or go to florida for a few days and look anywhere.
and now back to huck , still being tortured for days,over and over and over and over.he is allowed to leave.the very least you could do is put him in the hospital in a coma and list everything wrong and show what happens, but no it’s like a cartoon. he gets up and he is physically and mentally able to go find the person who really shot the president.
what kind of person takes orders to kick someone , beat them, torture for days.when the victim leaves do they go out find and murder someone else for fun. do they go home, depressed and not talk to their wife, who eventually divorces them. do their chldren grow up to be sociopaths ,(do they write movies and tv shows), a vicious cycle for thousands of years until it’s the year 2013.

bob’s burgers:larry david specials V

larry david daily special burger :
your aunt died, but i want to go play golf this Morningstarsausage farm burger,
i have khaki tent pants ,so why not Tentedburger with aluminum foil to seal in the juices ,
don’t drink out of my glass celophane noodle shrimp and whynot porktooburger,

bob’s specials today:
“analyze this” billy crystallized ginger burger (it looks marvelous),
the jimmy falLondon broil burger ( never ever ever served with mayonnaise
he really loves this burger)
bewitched and “Beware” samantha and sammy davis jr “too close for comfort” food double burger,
“the cougar-cogat burger” another delicious pairing of courtney cox and bandleader violinist xavier cugat,
paul simon “you can call me spinach Al fredo burger,
frank sinaTravolta burger will make you sing and dance
the Brittany “Gimme More” Spears of asparagus burger,
the caspar weinberger, you guessed manischewitz wineburger,
Mama Cass t a net over this swordfishburger,
marie barone steak pizzaiola burger with homeade RAGU and Taragon sauce on panfocaccia,
rick SpringonionField served on a field of mixed greens,
and “The Closer” thank-you peppermintpattyburger with reeses pieces on the side

bob’s burgers special today IV

bob’s burgers daily specials IV:
sheldon “bazinga” spaghetti and tiny hot dog burger
the big bang ladesh burger with yogurt lentil sauce
the gluten free grainfed tofu soy free burger
share this :Sony side up and Cher burger
“take five” Brew (bru) Beck beerburger
the myrtle beach boys II men Apocalypse burger
the “fiddler on the roof” of your mouth peanut butter and banana burger and desert apple strudel
cootie williams Ain’t the gravy good on this parmesan crusted steakburger
cee lo Green tea roasted Red peppers and “Crazy” sweet vidalia georgia onion christmasburger
haloween “hungary for a ghoulash burger
Old christine New england clam chowder burger for the adventurous
hershey kiss today goodbye burger
Meyer lemon tree very pretty burger
rise and shine on harvest moon pie burger
smothers brothers 5 cheeses burger
fire up the grill jalepano burger
school’s out for summer squash burger
pumpkin pie r round not square man hippie burger