serendipitous haiku by my love II

~

“it was predicted
news would become sillier
in the seventies

the three presented
with their perfect little beards
perfect little suits

(van gogh experts on bbc)

we’re all going to die
not very helpful is it
in a hurricane

frankly some of the
only normal people i’ve
seen here are drunks

what are you doing
sneaking around behind my
view,blindsided me

all you have to do
is rally someone to hate
and they’ll vote for you

(trump)

I answer this guy
when you say look at the sky
you say don’t pun me

Brighton used to be
the liberal capital
country of england

tell me more of your
mosquito and purell tales
wait with baited breath

(mosquitoes like perfume & in purell)

blind leading the blind
paragraph about the beer
no percent content

is your dress dry yet
are you finished with it now
just use my hanger

don’t know how many
years i have carried this bag
but it’s time has come

cross that off the list
things you can do comfortably
can do with your life

(basketball)

doc wife rips scrotum
these are the success stories
of my country

waitresses big smiles
that disappear the minute
they turn the corner

no one would have thought
he’d take the experiment
this far with the jeans

quite a good tee shirt
Apologies In Advance
back lawyer’s email

~

serendipitous haiku by my love

~

” a lot of cats
looked like that cat for a reason
he was their father

didn’t understand
I was understanding him
understanding you

it’s a classic thing
people have in the afternoon
cream tea and a scone

I’ve had a complete
new perspective on the place
bit of nostalgia

the flattest ocean
I’ve ever seen in my life
guy on a surfboard

they all think they’re in
a commercial and they don’t
even realize it

they looked at us like
we had just broken into
alcatraz prison

it’s one thing talking
it’s another thing ranting
they are quite different

you won’t be able
to get clean air anywhere
on this planet soon

you look at the dog
and tell me it’s my fault
you think he is cute

people are trying
to get out of london and
brighton’s a target

seem to be losing
the ability to speak
in my own accent

i’m starting to do
this weird thing smiling at dogs
i do not like it

we’re all going to die
not very useful in a
hurricane is it

you need to balance
make people responsible
with not panicking

when they start to kiss
the feet of the empty chair
know it’s time to go”

~

“bring me” haiku in the pool and keep the 200 year flood

`

“it’s like bath water”
a nickel for every time
“bring me bar of soap”

“if you could bring me
back a meatball sub for dessert
that would be good”

he was having thai
his in-laws olive garden
the best of both worlds

thai seasons haiku
he wanted olive garden
i wanted pad thai

so i asked his wife
directions to thai seasons
thank him for haiku

he was offering
sweet tea vodka lemonade
you say no thank-you

but then you wonder
simply having no idea
was that one or three

the answer was two
you enjoy the lemonade
floating in window

“i was looking for
my daughter and her husband
have they been gone long”

several hours since
you show her they are still here
she has to bend down

the whole family
should write a book of haiku
my fingers are wet

they stood in the rain
barely drizzling outside
on your sunglasses

“ray charles everyone
he can’t see you but he can
hear you, make some noise”

it was a mistake
the pool shouldn’t be heated
he hit the wrong switch

did i mention that
i would like to have pad thai
“body of baker”

`
* day one / the flood of 2015

heathrow heisted my computer haiku

~
locked me in the pen
immigration official
at heathrow airport

then he had bad news
all of your luggage missing
computer stolen

when luggage returns
by delta or TSA
never to be found

this the beginning
people who are not british
working everywhere

can count on two hands
all of the people we meet
working in england

he was an arab
immigration official
most of the others

darling fiance
genius in any language
gets me out of jail

they call it the pen
i call it airport prison
where’s my computer?

blown to kingdom come
myrtle beach or atlanta
i bet on heathrow

two hours later
you say i should buy a house
a few weeks later

you withdraw from U
take me to terminal four
my true love to three

you call the wrong place
it’s a long train ride away
he waits for hours

awake for two days
outside in the cold waiting
you page the wrong gate

both ptsd
you don’t know your own airport
gate three is not four

6/8/16
~

may two three love haiku

~

you carry my chair
sent the elevator back
fixed the noisy bath

carried my iced tea
suckle tea from your briefcase
the entire sea

let me use your lap
as my own comfortable chair
after walking far

when i am tired
and can’t walk any farther
the coat off your back

carry furniture
from one condo to other
when people make fun

of the luggage cart
even though they stare at us
every single time

“monkey behavior”
and that’s just the last six hours
of may twenty third

~

fish have band, birds have choir and sharks play poker haiku

`

9/25/15

you are so tiny
jumping out of the water
from two feet away

when you turn around
to see the fish behind you
they make a circle

all at the same time
must be friday band practice
stop searching for shells

fish are excited
fisherman stopped to catch bait
in only one net

went back to fishing
because he caught so many
you can just reach down

she takes the photo
seventy birds singing songs
choir practice too

slowly following
fish back upstream to the pool
choreography

much needed practice
sound like baby chickadees
peeping from chicklets

when you’re almost back
to where the water’s waist deep
shark came two fridays

a group of fourteen
guy carrying a big stick
forgetting these guys

twenty feet apart
two women stand with leashes
long measuring stick

men holding notebooks
the water is two feet deep
girl dropped her iphone

watch her recover
in the fast moving water
lady with big stick

laughs as something crawls
who knows what they are doing
wet and giggling

`

albert the dachshund loves yoghurt

`
cute little dachshund
going potty on beach chairs
mother gives free reign

allowing him to
do whatever he wants to
kisses my fingers

and he was standing
right next to my pink flip flops
thank-you for finding

dog cannot tell time
he’s half an hour early
allowed after five

your secret is safe
mother likes to break the rules
an unwritten law

“if you know albert
like i know albert oh oh
oh what a dachshund”

speaking queen’s english
enjoys his parent’s yoghurt
and a good figure

`