vitamin D light delight until a yellow boat appears haiku

`
you ask yourself which
vitamin is the most fun
and most beautiful

banana boat
attacks you in the sea
floating away from anchor

stopping many surf boards
talented of all the toes
this just too big

searching for a guy
usually four in bright suits
banana white hair

see that he’s reading
woman runs to him pointing
can’t go left or right

join U S navy
rubberized ducky boat girl
learn to tie some knots

you will surrender
take me to your leader
top banana of all

until mr. m
taps you on the head, it isn’t
rosh hoshannah

prefer red test line
only eleven days left
september fish men

sea concession stand?
shore bird munching on cheetos
he’s done this before

where did you get these
would love to join you mr.
crunching in the surf

`

catching an early wave with ringo haiku

`
didn’t say swimming
i said i went in the ocean
different story”

“six o clock in the
morning invigorating”
bone chilling haiku

“you will be up at
three a m in a couple of years”
his wife said

back on track people
not here to reminisce
about old hurricanes

we’ve already missed
three weeks of mr. mullet
you know he’s out there

off to the sea
they always say have a good day
like going to work

cotton pickin ocean
how can it be anything
but wonderful

do not tempt sea nyph
they could swallow you whole
or sunburn one’s tushie

“too too tootsie goodbye
too too tootsie don’t cry”
where did you come from

Ringo’s father
the same pattern of behavior
every single time

he jumps in the pool
six feet straight down like a bullet
sits wooden wall

middle exactly
beach towel hanging from neck
smokes bad cigarette

walking up tiki
from there it’s a mystery
need to know basis

perhaps slow gin fizz
or queen elizabeth’s sister
bloody mary

`

she has no maize & neither do i ,we have both of our legs haiku

`
i met a kind nurse
she was allergic to corn
feeling bad for her

pops into your head
everyday is passover
the first to say this?

and then the next day
they told me that i was too
already knew wheat

and then i knew this
passover every day too
let them eat matzo

marie antoinette
wheat is also in matzo
let them eat sponge cake

allergy to eggs
what would marie antoinette
tell me to go eat

talking to myself
get ready for passover
i crack myself up

what is there to do
when every day seems pesach
ocd cleaning

ritual cleansing
vinegar for the counters
ice box,stove,oven

yes i said ice box
too many syllables this
refrigerator

and this may be why
jews are born with ocd
five thousand years

please tell me which box
pesach silverware is in
two hundred boxes

and only one drawer
who builds a house with one drawer
kitchen beach condo

so at four a m
how do you peel hard boiled eggs
kitchen sink breaks

i’m sure there’s a law
if it’s not good for your health
should not eat something

angel of death, takes
me away to calgon bath
perfume allergy

`

elephants do not belong on chests , snuggies belong on dogs haiku

`
deserted lawn chair
when no one is sitting here
what sights do you see

he likes commercial
elephant sitting on chest
inhale aversion

cannot think of one
single commercial i like
deceptive fibbing

is anything ever
as wonderful as they say
advertising

remember k-tel
own the tea cup of our queen
a nice chia pet

always buy presents
for dog nieces and nephews
we aren’t related

the blanket for dogs
buying all the store had
for puppies to snuggle

inexpensive gift
walgreens had too many left
only three dollars

cold in the shadows
behind vast palmetto flag
white cloud sun hiding


“love in the shadows
got to put your faith in things
when the sun goes down”

Neal Sedaka
Love in the Shadows

`

me neither bitter ben ides of march and no birthday cupcakes haiku

`
“ever have a day
everything goes your way
feel you can do no wrong”

“worst time 1:38
too early to fake work
too long from lunch breaks”

“after winter
Bostoners won’t have anything
to complain about”

“i don’t always tweet
but when i do i almost
always go on just

“why not a t-shirt
that says kick me i’m irish
for me to give out”

“so wearing purple
keeps you just as safe as green
st. patrick’s day right”?

“my favorite
amendment is the fifth , your right
to remain silent”

“i’d be okay
if NSA & Obama
were reading my tweets”

(“they would be the first”)

“i wouldn’t even watch
for the commercials or
halftime tornado”

`
bensbitterblog.com

freedom of speech means you can steal money from unsuspecting people haiku

`
Kevin Trudeau

“aids is a hoax”
natural cure for diabetes
Trudeau’s newsletter

“the sun does not cause cancer
sunscreen is one of
the major causes”

five hundred dollars
for a lifetime membership
what an idiot

how can you tell
this guy is a sociopath
convicted of fraud

the 1990’s
credit card and larceny
sued by FTC

instead of PAYING
he joined a pyramid scheme
pleaded poverty

living lavishly
no fear, thinking he’s so smart
out of their playbook

Trudeau said
pharmaceutical companies
don’t want you to get well

this may be the only
truth he has ever uttered
in his whole life

but you don’t either
you could care less what happens
you want their money

net worth ten million
or is it thirty seven
only hairdresser

`

Punku, 6-10

Originally posted on Garden Path:

6.

Although murderous,
sin fails to describe,
the praying mantis.

7.

Doctors with good
bedside manners tend
not to lose patients.

8.

The myth of college
cannibals is they only
eat raw-men noodles.

9.

The waiter asked if
I wanted mussels –
dinner was awkward.

10.

If Grease is next to
Turkey, then where is
the Mashed Potatoes?

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