elvis , a six year old’s dream & crocodile guy haiku

`
selling like hot cakes
the temptations are singing
funny expression

international
house of pancakes can tell us
how fast they do sell

“talkin bout my guy
what can make me feel this way”
sign says no swimming

elvis and rooster
temptations, four tops and chuck
“when you get the blues”

don’t have to sing that
johnny cash gives me the blues
killing in conway

you knew he would sing
“you may have driven right through
conway to get here”

actually the train
universal orlando
seventeen hours

stopping at hotel
forgetting the name of town
two hours away

close as you can get
lady who worked at hotel
going to the beach

dinner with husband
and shopping at bass pro shops
so they drive you here

they didn’t want you
to spend four hundred dollars
on a taxi cab

their granddaughter said
when i grow up i’m going
to buy this condo

she was almost six
this was the prettiest place
she had ever seen

“great balls of fire
she can shake that diamond ring
whole lot of shakin”

in mississippi
you can marry your cousin
she’s only thirteen

the crocodile rock
he swam with crocs this morning
don’t try this at home

“i’m professional”
degree in stupidity
while trying to sleep

he jumps on the croc
then four other people jump
move him to the zoo

hatch babies from eggs
wonder what kind of problem
you have in your head

while she laid her eggs
he said she was in a trance
kissing her forehead

laid down on her back
thinking you are a fruitcake
you could be her lunch

then he said as much
when she came out of her trance
did she tell him this

`
7/21/15

drop that fish and table for one haiku

`
two banana boats
two parasailing one plane
tiny deviled crab

floating above trees
sky and sea beautiful blues
the wind is perfect

the delightful air
and then an upside down fish
closes in on you

before you can move
a bird tried to pick him up
as big as she is

then five birds appear
drop him four times and then leave
losing appetite

facing each other
incoming banana boat
other outgoing

he’s an extrovert
and their captains are also
one circles the waves

the water like glass
clear enough to see clear fish
schools delight the eyes

heaven to watch you
fireworks over the beach
we are still waiting

last three nights at twelve
only hearing from inside
through the tall oak trees

standing by the pond
you hear a man cross the bridge
“hey table for one

it’s good to see you”
there is no person behind
ducks quack in the night

`
8/14/15

and then the flying walendas II & three sharks haiku

`

twenty four hours
a long line of fish swimming
away from the sea

where are you going
do you have coups in the sea
searching for something

you’re going to save
ali mohammed al nimr
no humans can stop

terror on the land
suddenly they’re twice as fast
flying walendas

twenty at a time
please do not tickle the shin
only your fancy

ten thousand sea birds
nary a one go hungry
fish for everyone

couple sits in surf
middle age middle of fish
walendas jump high

the man just stood up
came to ask if i would like
“see sharks in the wild”

i shake my head no
three very large sharks dining
of course, the minnows

i backed up ten feet
now hundreds of mullet jump
shark the reason why

we’re only five peeps
against these three south beach sharks
they’re full to the gills

actually just moi
four halfway back to hotel
after last haiku

just three sharks and me
back up again to dry land
and do the mouse scream

scarier alone
all three perpendicular
you have shark side view

`
9/26/15

teddy toddler turtle and elevator dog haiku

`

10/11/15

walking on the bridge
teddy bear toddler on leash
daddy other end

then you see they’re twins
mother walking teddy too
then small dog walks by

on his mother’s leash
tiny toddler’s tiny dog
daddy turns around

end of the boardwalk
“feel like i’m walking a dog”
that’s what it looks like

you’re walking two dogs
and two dogs passing also
next a dalmation

taller than children
holding a giant turtle
men under the bridge

searching for something
forever home for turtle
finding in the surf

he didn’t belong
home of turtles and ducklings
pointing to the pond

a very long walk
for both man and the turtle
they tell you thank-you

you tell them thank-you
turtle bobbing in the surf
now he’s back to life

he’s on holiday
people usually bring bread
he will be happy

mother and jaden
jogging by me with haiku
two hours later

“hello again it
turned out to be a nice day
i am so happy”

from two poems ago
both wave while jogging by surf
changing directions

elevator dog
father explains etiquette
tells him look to left

he doesn’t listen
looking to the right at me
wagging his cute tail

rub his ears three floors
neither of us listen to
smiling dog parents

`

7th day of hanukkah haiku

~
tahiti sounds nice
you can always be singing
south pacific songs

next to donald trump
what more could anyone ask
haiku write themselves

larry david qvetch
humorous narcissism
neighbor of all time

small castle for two
recipe for quintuplets
palatial restaurant

no leftover fries
backyard filled with potatoes
where cows make the brie

garden tomatoes
heirloom of the king’s great grand
body of baker

toast to perfection
machine that makes your own bread
she’s still in the box

cool scotland winters
too cold for ponies to prance
Findhorn vacation

bed and breakfast inn
are we in london my love
dark day at the beach

only on outside
seventy four degree warmth
december thirteenth

bikini weather
only because you are here
miracle of heat

watermeloness
agador spartacus lines
spring in december

a natural heat
seventh day of hanukkah
find circle of luck

~

you can have anything that you desire

~
on the first day of christmas my true love gave to me :
baked eggplant parmesan, spaghetti and cornbrea ad dress ing, a rucksack, hugo boss pajamas and a marc chagall stained glass painting…

on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me:
too many gifts to remember , the most beautiful silver prototype heart broach in the world , and i gave him a yiddish dic tion ary…

on the third day of christmas my true love gave to me:
the fifth day at the beach of seven ty degrees, because he’s magic and this warm weather in december has never before been seen….

on the fourth day of hanukkah my true love gave to me:
a forty pound lunch , a parrot fish with blue lips,weedy sea dragons, royal blue fish with yellow fins, sharks who swim above our head with perfect teeth , pizza , a large piece of chocolate fudge guarded by fort knox and a three hundred dollar trip to the aquarium …

on the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me:
the pearl from my mother’s ring that i lost , because he can find any thing

on the sixth day of christmas my true love said to me:
would you like me to put the kettle on
he gives me this gift eve ry day
herbal tea to hy drate me
that’s the best gift you see
cause toxic mold dehydrates me
then he carries the heavy chair, umbrella ,water and everything i need to the beach
because he’s the strongest man in the world

on the seventh day of christmas my true love gave to me:
aphrodite’s good luck ring
she threw from cypress sea
a ring just for me
traveling from a twenty year jour ney

thirteen vegetables
fourteen if you count the pumpkin pie
two gorgeous umbrellas
polo ralph lauren pajamas
and three hours at the grocery store
in a carib bean haze

`
spoonful of sugar
will help the marmite go down
most delightful way

Age of aquarium haiku

~

weedy sea dragon
swims close to see handsome face
propellers propel

another world sees
the magical charming man
understanding you

her eyes meet your eyes
across european seas
tails slide around limbs

parrot fish sailing
her blue lipstick and blue eyes
stare into your soul

shark over your head
perfect teeth devour nothing
only his dentist

knows for sure his bite
scars of red underneath fish
animal rights groups

know what they speak of
they aren’t whistling dixie
can pat the jellies

not the japanese
mushroom illuminated
lanterns of light swim

every country asks
will you please take our picture
what do we look like

frank sinatra sings
christmas songs from the fifties
jellies beat in time

~